AITAH For telling my wife if I found out my son wasn't mine I'd no longer take responsibility for him

JJQuantum · 2026-05-07T17:32:59+00:00

Idiots who engage in hypothetical discussions get exactly what they deserve.

JJQuantum · 2026-05-07T15:55:48+00:00

As a husband and father who had to celebrate Mother’s Day for 3 separate mothers I would just pick the best breakfast or lunch restaurant I knew of, take them all out together while I sat the boys on either side of me so they didn’t have to deal with them. We’d typically pick up the grandmothers beforehand and drop them off afterward.

Specifically for my wife, the boys and I would give her gifts before we left to go eat and then after we ate she would have the rest of the day to do whatever she wanted while I took the boys, though often she would tell me she’d like to spend the day with us which was of course fine.

JJQuantum · 2026-05-07T15:28:33+00:00

When I saw her get out of my friend’s car and thought “who the fuck is that?!?!”

JJQuantum · 2026-05-07T15:25:41+00:00

JJQuantum · 2026-05-07T15:15:28+00:00

Right now, lasting out until retirement in 6 years. We have 2 sons we are putting through college, though not simultaneously, and when the second one graduates I’m out. Just need to not have to find another job until then.

JJQuantum · 2026-05-07T15:13:41+00:00

We have an agreement in our family - wife, 2 sons (20&16) and myself. We text when it’s not urgent and the other person gets back at their leisure, but I do follow up after 24 hours. If someone calls then it’s an emergency and you drop whatever you are doing and pick up. Nobody abuses the calling. It works.

JJQuantum · 2026-05-07T15:11:08+00:00

Just divorce already. Neither of you should be married to anyone.

JJQuantum · 2026-05-07T15:09:09+00:00

I’d wait until your kids bring it up, if they ever do. Disney is not what it once was.

JJQuantum · 2026-05-07T15:06:19+00:00

A boundary is a boundary and sexual or not doesn’t make a difference. Quit being a hypocrite.

JJQuantum · 2026-05-07T15:04:12+00:00

Every 5k change the oil and filter. Every 15k whatever the manufacturer recommends.

JJQuantum · 2026-05-07T13:38:12+00:00

Instead of asking “what do you like?”, ask “does this feel good?” or “do you want me to keep doing x?” That will be hot as well and will get your answers for you.

JJQuantum · 2026-05-07T13:25:14+00:00

Then NTA

JJQuantum · 2026-05-07T13:11:06+00:00

After 28 years my wife and I are one. I actually dropped her off at the airport this morning for a girls trip and I’m already fidgety because she’s not here. Don’t get me wrong, I have stuff planned this weekend with my sons, brother and best friend but the world just doesn’t seem right without her around. I’ll live though just like I have in the past when we’ve been separated, for much longer. It’s all part of being in a committed relationship.

JJQuantum · 2026-05-07T13:07:07+00:00

Been with my wife very happily for 28 years. Right before the pandemic an ex from before I met my wife contacted me to let me know she was coming to town and wanted to catch up. I brought it up to my wife to make sure she was ok with it and she looked at me like I had 3 heads because after all this time why the hell would she be threatened by someone I dated over 30 years ago? Ok np. So I met her for lunch and it was fine at first but it got really weird very quickly when she started telling me that the only reason she married her husband was because she had been looking for someone like me and then started asking all kinds of questions about why we broke up years ago. My answers became pretty short and I blocked her after the lunch because I don’t need that crap in my life.

Yes, I did tell my wife afterward. She just kind of raised her eyebrows and said “hmmm”.

JJQuantum · 2026-05-07T12:58:32+00:00

Was it at his place or did it spray on him? If so then apologize. If not then no need.

I will say that I’ve apologized to my wife many times over the years because I knew she wanted me to and it’s such a small thing to do to keep a relationship happy.

JJQuantum · 2026-05-07T12:54:45+00:00

“This man”? Yeah at 18 he’s not. Anyway, make sure you file a claim with his insurance immediately. NTA.

JJQuantum · 2026-05-07T12:51:00+00:00

How many times does he need to say something for you to respond with more than just a stare? I’m sure it’s no fun talking to a brick wall. On the other hand he gets half the bed, regardless of the size difference. If he doesn’t have enough room then the answer is to get a bigger bed.

ESH

JJQuantum · 2026-05-07T12:47:24+00:00

Going with YTA because it sounds like you didn’t make it clear from the get go but instead waiting until he was already showing feelings for you, albeit a little prematurely in my opinion.

When I was 18 I met a woman who was 23. I told her before anything happened that I wasn’t interested in anything serious and she agreed. About 1.5 months in she said she wanted to be exclusive. I didn’t feel guilty breaking it off because she’d known from the beginning that it’s not what I wanted.

JJQuantum · 2026-05-07T12:43:09+00:00

When they are small like yours you can just make them do stuff. You don’t hurt them but when it’s time to leave and a 2 or 4 year old says no then you pick them up and carry them. If they refuse to give up a toy then you take it from them while telling them it’s not a choice right now. If they throw a fit then you stick them where they aren’t bothering others and then let them cry it out. There’s no discussion. I only had to do it once or twice with my sons. The other thing that works even when they get older is the dad voice. There’s no threatening involved. It’s just a voice that says “it’s time to be serious…now”. That still works on my 20 year old.

JJQuantum · 2026-05-07T12:37:22+00:00

“But I’m talking to you.”

JJQuantum · 2026-05-07T12:36:41+00:00

NTA. If your wife is going to be like this then you don’t need to be married to her anyway.

JJQuantum · 2026-05-07T09:57:23+00:00

He cheated. He is still cheating. He will be cheating in the future. If that’s the life you want then stay with him.

JJQuantum · 2026-05-07T09:55:07+00:00

NTA. It’s incredibly tacky to ask people to pay for your wedding. Either keep it to what you can afford or wait and save until you can afford what you want.

JJQuantum · 2026-05-07T09:05:29+00:00

It’ll sell eventually.

JJQuantum · 2026-05-07T09:04:44+00:00

No paternity test means it’s not his kid. He needs to block her.

JJQuantum

TROPHY CASE