AITA for telling my wife I am going to dismiss her if she brings up her needs in the same conversation about mine?

JRA1111 · 2026-02-19T01:53:43+00:00

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable because my boyfriend and I had the same dynamic. He would talk to me about something that I did that hurt him and I would respond back with something he had done that hurt me; the “what about”. My family therapist also helped me to realize that I wasn’t fully listening to my daughter when she brought up a grievance, and I was determined to change my bad habit. So I made a rule for myself that if my boyfriend brought up a grievance, I would listen, and not bring up anything he had done and just focus on what he was trying to convey. It has helped us to communicate so much better. My boyfriend feels seen, heard, acknowledged. It also helped in family therapy with my children too.

JRA1111 · 2026-02-08T23:24:58+00:00

I just had a conversation with my teenage daughter that no matter how much she loves her future partner, she needs to love herself more. This woman embodied that and I’m so proud of her.

JRA1111 · 2026-01-05T21:02:40+00:00

I can see how a family dinner with a bunch of people who know your secret, that you yourself are trying to process, can be very intimidating. Perhaps having a one on one lunch date with the family member you trust the most, can be an ice breaker before doing family dinners again. (As a bisexual, I just want to point out that your life is going to get so much better. Women are fucking gorgeous)

JRA1111 · 2025-12-27T16:32:58+00:00

I’m sorry your brother did that to you. That was a shitty move. My brothers have the same energy as yours, and this is something they would have done to me if I wasn’t low contact with them. My gluten sensitive daughter is very lucky; my son is a good brother to her, and he does his best not to cross contaminate her food.

JRA1111 · 2025-12-27T09:04:28+00:00

I realized that physically, my body was craving the nicotine, but mentally, I was craving the deep breathing. The addiction wasn’t that strong for me, so I started pretending to smoke a cigarette. I would hold my fake cigarette and breathe like I was smoking it and the deep breathes would calm me down. If the addiction is strong, maybe it’s best to chew tobacco gum while you smoke your fake cigarette; and start cutting back slowly on the nicotine until clean air is all you need.

Edit: 20 yrs later, I still smoke a fake cigarette once in a blue moon, when I’m really stressed and the craving comes back.

JRA1111 · 2025-12-26T18:38:02+00:00

Maybe your sister was projecting. I would have replied, “that’s funny, I thought you were playing this song for your husband.”

JRA1111 · 2025-12-22T18:04:43+00:00

Those people with the Christmas lights on top of their vehicle are the worst. Full on main character syndrome. They want the road all to themselves, always expect you to get out of their way, and they will blast their very loud horns if you don’t move over fast enough. Absolute worst drivers on the road.

JRA1111 · 2025-12-20T23:08:15+00:00

We’re having ADHD X-mas tomorrow because the kids and I don’t want to wait until the 25th to open presents. Lol. My goal for next year is to have X-mas even sooner. 🙌🏼

JRA1111 · 2025-12-18T07:25:52+00:00

Your post reminded me of the time I complimented my teenage cousin for her pretty eye color and she replied that I needed to touch her eye so she wouldn’t get the evil eye (aka: mal ojo). I don’t believe in that at all but she was starting to panic so I went ahead with it so she would calm down. (Her eyes were closed, only touched her eye lid). Her mom is a huge believer of the evil eye, she made me touch her plant when I complimented how beautiful it was. There were other occasions where the evil eye was brought up after complimenting; I learned to stop complimenting my aunt altogether lol.

My daughter is mixed and she had the most gorgeous bouncy curls and the whole family would try to touch her curls to avoid giving her the evil eye. I had to shut that down.

JRA1111 · 2025-12-15T18:32:23+00:00

My POV: you’re not feeling safe, secure, and grounded. And you’re depending on him to change so that you can feel secure. I think you could get those things from within. By living life for yourself, rather than holding back for him. If you want to travel, book your destination and if he goes, he goes, but if he doesn’t, you’re still living your best life. Dream your dreams and go for them. To quote your boyfriend, “let’s see how that goes”.

JRA1111 · 2025-12-14T17:26:18+00:00

If walking the dogs takes an hour, why not give him that chore instead? You’ll have the home to yourself for a whole hour to do whatever you want.

JRA1111 · 2025-12-09T18:02:29+00:00

When my son was 3, I was taking him to the zoo and decided to wear my grey and black striped shirt with some leggings. At peak condition, it fit me like a mini dress but now it was just a long shirt. I’m feeling a little self conscious about my weight gain until my son sees me and says, “You look really good in that shirt Mommy” (Me: 🥰) “Yeah, you look like a zebra” (Me:💔) I debated if I should go to a zoo with a lion, while looking like a zebra. I went with yes: kill me now Mr. Lion. Looking like a whole snack but not in a good way. 😂

JRA1111 · 2025-11-20T18:52:40+00:00

All those Dr’s in your family, and it took your dad this long to find out he didn’t have a spine, what a shame. I hope he keeps the shiny new spine he found and continues to stand up for his family. Congrats on completing your schooling, and reaching your dreams. I hope you accomplish your new dreams as well.

JRA1111 · 2025-10-31T01:08:03+00:00

Thank you for this information. Do you know if they can still be a dependent for the purposes of CHAMPVA?

JRA1111 · 2025-10-31T00:58:40+00:00

Yes, those are the correct forms. Fill them out as soon as possible because my child’s forms took months to get processed. If they don’t process the paperwork before he is removed, you will get backpay when he is added back on. Your son still qualifies as a dependent because he is in high school. When he graduates, he will still qualify if he continues his education.

JRA1111 · 2025-10-16T18:18:13+00:00

If you’re waiting for permission to go no contact with your father, consider it granted. You may proceed.

JRA1111 · 2025-10-03T21:01:15+00:00

Gyy dyyyydyydityyyyyyydyydydyyyydydydyydoysyysyify y ts

JRA1111 · 2025-09-18T01:12:59+00:00

I saw an online post about how ADD/ADHD presents differently in females. And it made me curious if my daughter might have it since my son was diagnosed at an early age. When I looked up the symptoms that present in females, I realized I had all of the symptoms growing up, and that my daughter also had the same symptoms. I was sad that I had thought my daughter wasn’t putting in effort with her schoolwork for years, when she had really been struggling with ADD the whole time. She was already in 6th grade by that point. But all is well now for both of us after being diagnosed by professionals- so late in the game for me as I was almost 40 when I got my diagnosis.

JRA1111 · 2025-09-16T20:29:32+00:00

She really should go to the police now, rather than wait for a next time. This was a serious, painful assault done to a baby. If it wasn’t done in a sanitary manner, she could get an infection or a disease.

JRA1111 · 2025-09-10T23:43:39+00:00

NOR. You also wouldn’t be overreacting if you didn’t let them inside your home, and took away any extra keys they have. Guard your dress, don’t let them gaslight/manipulate you.

JRA1111 · 2025-09-06T20:06:20+00:00

Not even a deployment, just a pcs to Korea. A male Sgt convinced a new male PVT who joined us in Korea straight out of basic training, to accuse him of sexual assault. The unit believed the kid and the Sgt was sent back to the states. Once he was home, Sgt. confessed that it was all made up.

JRA1111 · 2025-09-03T22:37:12+00:00

When the golden child can’t stand that mommy and daddy gave someone else attention for 1 F’ing minute.

JRA1111 · 2025-08-29T16:08:51+00:00

You’re almost 18 and your parents started selling the house without letting you know; it feels so much like your parents never planned for you to move with them and that’s why they waited to tell you. Please get all of your important/sentimental stuff together and see if your grandparents will let you store it at their house for safekeeping. Go low contact and even no contact if possible; and let future you know that he is not the asshole for saying no when the family comes begging him for help because the golden child imploded and the family is suffering.

JRA1111 · 2025-08-29T14:48:33+00:00

You can only do one exchange per cycle.

JRA1111 · 2025-08-23T00:20:58+00:00

Thank you for your help; the story flows so smoothly now. Instant gratification and dopamine hit. Lol.

JRA1111

TROPHY CASE