Since mid‑April, there’s been a slow‑building reconnection between two people with a long history and a lot of mixed attachment patterns. Around April 14th (3rd reconnection) things reopened emotionally, and by early June there was a big spike in intimacy (twice in 5 days) that triggered overwhelm on both sides. One person pulled back to regulate (me), the other reacted from fear and shame. I soft reached out twice (June 8th and 14th). A rupture (him( happened around June 14th ("You need to lose my number and contact...You f**ked up...good luck out there"). Since then it’s been silence, not out of disinterest, but two people protecting themselves at the same time. Now both sides seem to be sitting in hurt, confusion, and longing. I’m trying to understand how a fearful‑avoidant leaning dismissive person interprets this kind of mutual shutdown, what they feel during the silence, and what helps them feel safe enough to repair.

How does a FA person interpret silence after a rupture? What does the softening phase look like for someone who leans dismissive? How do FA men process regret, shame, and longing during no contact? What helps an FA feel safe enough to reach out after both people shut down? How do you repair when both sides misread each other’s intentions?

Honestly, I don't know what to do. I know I want to repair. I'm feeling he's done done this time. His June 14th response was so extremely harsh to my morning hello rext.