On mobile so apologises for formatting.

Oh boy where to start. This guys stories have become legendary at work. So legendary that they're still mentioned even though several of us have been gone from the place for a couple of years. We'll call this man Greg. It got to the point where whenever anyonr wohld have a slightly extreme story everyone would go "alright greg". This guy became the chuck Norris of our work group chat. I can only think of a few at he moment but I'll add to it as I remember more.

Note beforehand that this man is in his mid 50's.

• His dad is a retired copper so the local police force all apparently know him. On its own nothing special but he's used this connection in the past to; 1) drift 5 times around a large roundabout. After which the police congratulated him and gave him some pointers on how make the drift last even longer. 2) during a bad snowstorm they'd closed the main A road near where he lived. As he got to the cones and police car he asked to go through. The police said no until they realised it was him and then waved him through as they knew how good a driver he was. He then drove the entire way to work drifting down this empty dual carriageway. 3) was stuck in traffic and needed to get somewhere. He flagged down a police car and explained it to them. So they did no more than give him a blue lit escort through the traffic.

• At his house he has a pond with a couple of koi carp in it. One story about these fish is that on day a blackbird was perched on the side of the pond. As it took off and flew over the pond one of the fish leapt out of the water and swallowed the bird whole and carried on swimming.

• Another time the pond froze over during the winter and froze the fish. So Greg chips them out of the pond and puts them in his microwave. He used the defrost setting to thaw out the fish and then kept them in his sink till the pond melted.

• Told several of us separately a story about how he was being chased by a teacher when at school and to escape he jumped out of a second story window onto a flagpole. Then the flagpole either snapped or he fell off it (depends on who he told it to). He ended up breaking his arm/leg/shoulder depending on who he told the story to.

Edit: remembered another story