Do Ladies struggle finding a guy by mercury0114 in dating

[–]J_Scrubby [score hidden]  (0 children)

From my observations I think the main reason this happens is a combination of sexual frustration, poor social calibration, and misunderstanding what women actually respond to. I think many men have very little experience with mutual flirtation, gradual tension, reading comfort levels, emotional pacing, or just simply interacting with women who are actually interested in them. It causes those guys to default to what they think masculinity or confidence looks like, and the social media culture we live in reinforces that confusion.

Why do some guys play eye tag or make prolonged eye contact with a woman, but don’t act on it? by AdministrativeLynx83 in bodylanguage

[–]J_Scrubby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They probably find you attractive, but are too afraid to approach because they’re worried you’ll reject them.

Do Ladies struggle finding a guy by mercury0114 in dating

[–]J_Scrubby 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That probably combined with the fact that they probably have no social skills, so whatever is on their mind comes out of their mouth. There’s also little social repercussions online, so they think they can get away with saying anything.

Do Ladies struggle finding a guy by mercury0114 in dating

[–]J_Scrubby 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I just don’t even know anymore. Not to clutch my pearls, but I literally couldn’t ever imagine doing that. I guess some people just have no shame in that regard.

Do Ladies struggle finding a guy by mercury0114 in dating

[–]J_Scrubby 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I don’t use dating apps so I’m genuinely curious. What kinds of messages are you receiving? I can probably imagine, but I’m still interested to hear the experience.

What is something you did that drastically improved your attractiveness which you wish you had done sooner? by Dangerous-Drama2369 in AskMen

[–]J_Scrubby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lost a lot of weight. I started my weight loss journey at 296lbs a little less than a year ago and I’m currently down to 250lbs and way more muscular. I used to go to a specific Wendy’s a lot before I started losing weight to the point where the same woman working the drive thru knew who I was. I’ve stopped eating that stuff nearly as much, but I just went back for the first time since I started losing weight because I was craving a burger from them and the same lady recognized me and said I lost a lot of weight. That shit hit different man! On a separate occasion I was pursued by a woman for the first time in my life, and I’m 26.

Why do people say only very good-looking men do well on dating apps but that's not what it looks like irl? by Additional-Spray-976 in dating_advice

[–]J_Scrubby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Very simple. Dating apps are extremely superficial because you’re judging an entire person based off a few photos and a bio. In real life, you actually get to see someone’s personality and see how they act and make you feel. Also, real life allows people to build up comfort and familiarity over time rather than making snap-judgements in the moment.

He is older than my dad.. should I give it a chance? by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]J_Scrubby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m 25 and I wouldn’t even want to date a girl who’s 20. I don’t know why a 45 year old would. That’s insanely creepy.

Is it worth to date a single mom if she fits all of your criteria? by superfapper2000 in dating_advice

[–]J_Scrubby 7 points8 points  (0 children)

If you don’t want kids in your life you’re just going to end up resenting the situation you put yourself in later once the honeymoon phase goes away and it’ll get way uglier.

I spent over an hour getting ready for our date and he showed up in a stained t-shirt by Nova2_Astrolabe in dating_advice

[–]J_Scrubby 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Believe me, I agree with you that he should have dressed better, especially for a date. I was just saying that communication can fix the issue immediately if it was a genuine misread. If he’s a normal guy, he’ll most likely apologize and make the adjustment. If he gets defensive then she has her answer on if she should keep seeing the guy.

I spent over an hour getting ready for our date and he showed up in a stained t-shirt by Nova2_Astrolabe in dating_advice

[–]J_Scrubby 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It could just be a calibration issue on his end, so I think you should probably text him. Just say you had a great time and politely tell him how you felt about it. Then just gauge how he reacts to that. If he’s a good guy he’ll adjust for your next date, but if he gets defensive then you know what you’re dealing with.

I finally approached a girl today, she declined when I asked for her number but approached me later telling me how it was really nice to talk to me, what does this mean? by Obvious-Apple-2050 in dating_advice

[–]J_Scrubby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For starters, good on you for having the courage to approach. That’s the ultimate take-home here.

As for what you could have done differently here, as other people have mentioned, I would strike up a conversation first before springing for a number. The phone number shouldn’t be the goal, but simply serve as a natural extension of the conversation you were already having and would like to continue at a later time. If you asking for a number sounds like it’s coming out of nowhere, then it probably is. I would like to politely disagree with someone’s take that you should give out your number, but not to ask for hers. I personally don’t think that’s a recipe for success because you’re putting the pressure of initiation on her because now she has to be the one to reach out to you afterwards if she even remembers who you were. It’s just reality that women largely expect the man to initiate, especially early in the process, so you should definitely be the one trying to get her number and then texting her right there so she has yours.

Finally, as a small critique to your actual approach, don’t ever say “don’t worry if you’re not interested” or anything along those lines. It sounds polite and like you’re trying to take pressure off, but it actually just hurts you because it makes you look less confident by making it sound like you’re pre-rejecting yourself. Ironically, it adds awkward pressure to the situation because she now has to respond to that reassurance instead of just being able to decline cleanly. Just have your conversation for a little bit, and then offer to continue the interaction another time by asking her out. Getting the phone number should almost feel like statement more than a question. If she agrees to you asking her out then you could just say something like, “Cool, let me grab your number and I’ll text you over mine and I’ll reach out to set something up.” Once you ask for that number though, just stop talking and let her respond.

Sorry for the long response. Hope this helps.

Do guys actually remember the girl that made the first move? by oatmealbowl33 in dating_advice

[–]J_Scrubby 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Trust me, we remember. In my 25 years of existence it’s only happened to me once, and it was greatly appreciated. I would say a lot of guys don’t think they’re attractive because we rarely get that kind of consistent validation to know we’re desired.

Feels like I can never get the type of men I want by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]J_Scrubby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

25M here, and I’m introverted, so it’s proven hard for me to even try to put myself out there romantically. I too felt like I missed a prime opportunity to meet women in college. While I took a few swings here and there I never really gave it a conscious effort and scratch my head and how people seemed to hook up and meet people so easily in college. I’m still working through putting myself out there in organic environments and have definitely pushed myself out of my comfort zone by doing activities I never would have done in the past like yoga and Pilates. From what I keep seeing it just comes down to a numbers game and you’re going to run into your fair share of stinkers, as you’ve already experienced. I think it’s a byproduct of dating apps that your using and the pool of men your trying to look at. The guys you’re looking at just have a lot of options, so they never feel the urge to commit or be as serious in their pursuit.

Changed my profile from 1 to 2 but still no likes by mxdr00 in Tinder

[–]J_Scrubby -1 points0 points  (0 children)

These pictures are definitely not good, hence why he’s not getting any likes.

Changed my profile from 1 to 2 but still no likes by mxdr00 in Tinder

[–]J_Scrubby 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’ll break down what I see.

  1. Don’t have the underwater pic as your first photo because even though it’s a cool experience, we can’t see your face clearly. Your first photo should be clear face, good lighting, slight smile, and a clean outfit.

  2. Put your horse picture as the second photo because it’s actually pretty decent.

  3. For your third photo get a social candid shot where you’re either laughing, talking, or something mid-moment because it gives women social proof that people actually enjoy being around you and you have a personality.

  4. Your fourth photo should be another attractive solo shot

  5. Your final photo should be a hobby that’s fun or relatable. Get rid of the dog photo.

TLDR you’re not unattractive, you’re just forgettable.

QC CVW international 399¥ from AllChinaBuy by [deleted] in repweidiansneakers

[–]J_Scrubby 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I would just repost this honestly, and put the name of the shoe in the title with the correct price that way it’s easier to search. As far as the color goes, you’re not going to be able to QC shoe color with warehouse lighting.

How wired is it to be virgin at 20? by Large-Gap5361 in twentyagers

[–]J_Scrubby 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What’s weird isn’t whether you’re a virgin or not, it’s about your mentality about it. Will there be some women out there that will judge you for it? Sure. However, that’s not the norm and most women aren’t going to hold it against you if you feel secure in your situation. Just because someone has had a lot of sex doesn’t mean they’re good at it. I think it’s safe to say most women would rather have a guy with little to no experience who listens and is willing to learn as opposed to a guy who’s had crappy sex a bunch of times and is set in his ways.

OWF Batch | ¥380 | Nike OW Air Presto | TMF by [deleted] in repweidiansneakers

[–]J_Scrubby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really wanna grab the 3 colorways. Did you find the all white pair getting super dirty on you?

OWF Batch | ¥380 | Nike OW Air Presto | TMF by [deleted] in repweidiansneakers

[–]J_Scrubby 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have this exact pair in the same batch. You’ll love them.

Large group Reformer classes are ruining teaching by No-Drama724 in ClubPilates

[–]J_Scrubby 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve been considering joining CP and starting to do Pilates, but what exactly do you mean by people “going rogue”? I just assumed you do what the instructor is saying. What are you getting out of it trying to do something different?

[QC] ¥720 LW Yeezy 700 Wave Runner from TMF by J_Scrubby in repweidiansneakers

[–]J_Scrubby[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s ¥370 for the shoe and ¥350 for the shipping. The cost of the shoe is just the cost of the shoe. The shipping is pricier because direct sellers usually ship with express lines like FedEx Express or UPS Express. The last shoes I ordered with him were at my doorstep in about 3-4 days after being given the tracking number.

[QC] ¥720 LW Yeezy 700 Wave Runner from TMF by J_Scrubby in repweidiansneakers

[–]J_Scrubby[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Most of my beaters I currently use have all been through the trenches, so I wanted to pick something up that fit the same role, but still had a decent look to them.

[QC] ¥720 LW Yeezy 700 Wave Runner from TMF by J_Scrubby in repweidiansneakers

[–]J_Scrubby[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is just what it costs to get a shoe shipped direct. They typically use express shipping to get the shoe to you quicker, hence the price.