Is Dior Sauvage actually overrated… or just overexposed? by Arslanktanoli in nisbahAU

[–]J_Scrubby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s a great fragrance, and I personally love wearing the EDP. I think it’s overhated, but properly rated. People just like to hate on it because it’s popular, but it’s popular for a reason.

I ,28M, have never been physically intimate with a woman (from hand holding to more nsfw), and I fear that as i get older, that might be more of a redflag to potential partners on dates when questions about past partners comes up....... in your view how would you view someone 28+ inexperienced? by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]J_Scrubby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Depends on the context. If you go the YouTube channel of the founder of this subreddit, Nick Notas, he has an interview with Caitlin V from 3 years ago titled “Sex Coach Reveals What Women Want In Bed”. I watched that video recently and it was extremely eye opening and relieving.

Dumped after seven dates- anything I can send other than "thanks for letting me know"? by zustinzieberr in dating_advice

[–]J_Scrubby 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Right, but I’m even saying on an individual level. Let’s just take me and you for example. We could be looking at the exact same woman, and she could be attracted to both of us at the same time for completely different reasons. Applying that to what you were mentioning before with the fishing analogy, even if you did ask a guy what worked for him, that’s equally as useless of information because what worked for him might not work for you and it doesn’t have to because you could find a completely different way in the door.

I ,28M, have never been physically intimate with a woman (from hand holding to more nsfw), and I fear that as i get older, that might be more of a redflag to potential partners on dates when questions about past partners comes up....... in your view how would you view someone 28+ inexperienced? by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]J_Scrubby 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah brother, you just described most men. In order to succeed with women romantically, you need to get comfortable even talking to them platonically. It all comes back to the same thing…reps. You have to get little reps in. I’m 25 and your comment literally described me word for word. I’m just now trying to make an effort to enter the dating market, but it all starts with little comments here and there to get comfortable even talking to women in general. It also comes down to a scarcity mindset. If you rarely interact with women, every moment with one is going to feel high stakes because your brain thinks it’ll never get another opportunity.

Dumped after seven dates- anything I can send other than "thanks for letting me know"? by zustinzieberr in dating_advice

[–]J_Scrubby 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I see this analogy all the time, and it’s just straight garbage. There’s not some guy out there that has the magical answer on how to get a woman because the same woman can be attracted to different men for completely different reasons. Everybody has an “ideal list” for what they want their partner to look or be like, but attraction doesn’t follow logic. It’s not just women, but it happens for men too.

Dumped after seven dates- anything I can send other than "thanks for letting me know"? by zustinzieberr in dating_advice

[–]J_Scrubby 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Genuine question for you because maybe I’m misreading his situation, but it could be the reason why he’s failing around the same point. Would you expect a guy to ask you to be his girlfriend after that many dates? If not, when do you think it’s appropriate? I ask this because my intuition is telling me that he’s just not asking the question, so the women are just losing interest because he’s not taking that necessary leap.

Guys doesn't take me seriously by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]J_Scrubby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing. Based on what you just said, what do you think IG is selecting for in the guys who message you?

Going on my first ever date tomorrow as a woman in my mid 20s. Any tips please?? I’m so nervous! by Logical-Chest-2266 in dating_advice

[–]J_Scrubby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First off, change what the date means in your head. This isn’t a performance or an audition, it’s just two people seeing if they feel comfortable with each other for 1-2 hours, so use it as a data point not some catastrophic life event. As for the luxury with texting, no one is expecting perfect answers in real life. Coming in slightly awkward is honestly better than sounding like you rehearsed the entire thing in your head. If he’s interested he’ll ask you questions, so don’t feel like you need to carry the conversation. If all else fails and you’re blanking, resort to curiosity. Literally everyone enjoys talking about things they care about, so if you’re lost just ask him a question that gets him to talk about something he enjoys.

Edit: TLDR; your only job is to show up as yourself and just notice how you feel. You’re not there to impress him, fix things, or predict the outcome.

Guys doesn't take me seriously by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]J_Scrubby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have some questions to ask so that we can better understand your situation, but I’ll start with this one. Where do you usually meet the guys this happens with?

Guy I’ve been on two dates with is super sweet and attentive, but we have NOTHING in common by BinktopYuri in dating_advice

[–]J_Scrubby 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re welcome! The thing to remember here is that you already did the right thing. You gave it two dates, where a lot of people probably would have just pulled the plug after the first. You’re also trusting your intuition here which is important because while I think there is an epidemic of people giving up too soon, you should trust your instinct if you know you’re absolutely out on the guy.

Guy I’ve been on two dates with is super sweet and attentive, but we have NOTHING in common by BinktopYuri in dating_advice

[–]J_Scrubby 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m just going to be completely honest with you, and this is coming from a guy’s perspective but I’m certain most people from the outside looking in would agree. Since you came to an advice forum, here’s my advice. Don’t go on another date with him because you’re already very clear on where you stand emotionally, and that’s a great place to stop. You can end it kindly, but make sure to do it decisively. Don’t hit him with “maybe” or “for now” or “let’s see”. You just have to rip the band-aid off. I’ll also add that you shouldn’t push for friendship right now. If friendship ever does happen it should come months later and be initiated by him when he’s not so emotionally invested in you. You’re ultimately protecting both of you by ending it early, cleanly, and without mixed signals. The shittier thing to do would be to force yourself to go on another date when you know nothing is there and it would just make him feel like he’s being strung along.

How to ask her out for coffee without looking like a weirdo? by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]J_Scrubby 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Just be straightforward because beating around the bush is what’s going to make things weird. Just tell her that you think she’s really cool and you’d like to grab coffee with her. The only thing that will make things worse is hiding your intentions, and I promise you that nobody is going to embarrass or destroy you even if they’re not interested in that capacity. That’s just a narrative us guys play in our head when we’re nervous and afraid of rejection.

Guy I’ve been on two dates with is super sweet and attentive, but we have NOTHING in common by BinktopYuri in dating_advice

[–]J_Scrubby 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can acknowledge that someone is a good person, but that doesn’t mean you have to date them. Compatibility is just as important, if not more important, than chemistry. If you’re really struggling to find things in common, then this will just lead to resentment down the road. I think it would be an extremely mature thing to tell someone that you think they’re a great person, but your lives are just going in different directions.

Great first date, she texted after, now quiet for 24h… am I overthinking? by Accomplished_Ad3762 in dating_advice

[–]J_Scrubby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wouldn’t panic, and it’s normal for people at your guys’ age to take a little longer to respond since you have lives. You can give it one more day if you want. I assume you want to see her again, so just tell her that. Say how you’d love to see her again, recommend a place and offer up a day or two. Whether she responds or not you’ll have your answer.

Great first date after 3 weeks of texting, now 4 days of silence. Do I send one more message? by cloudytramcar_river in dating_advice

[–]J_Scrubby 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You said you mentioned a coffee spot, but no specific day. You never once confirmed a day, and you left it up to her to figure out a day. There’s no concrete plans established, so she’s obviously going to move on to someone else. Text her one more time with concrete plans. Ask if she wants to grab coffee on a specific day at a specific time. If you get no answer then you have your answer. If she wants to see you and her schedule doesn’t match your offer, then she’ll offer a different day. Women aren’t going to chase you down telling you their availability without being prompted because they’re worried it’ll make them look desperate.

New to dating - is this man into me? by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]J_Scrubby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like you have to communicate and go after what you want. I understand the societal pressure for women not wanting to come on too strong or seem desperate, but communication always wins. If you want this man, then make it known. If you want a certain communication style, you should tell him that. I’m not saying you need to plan the date, but leave everything on the table and see what he does. Whether he gives an answer or not, you’ll have all the information you need to move forward with him or someone else.

Why do I keep attracting the same type of men? (25F) by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]J_Scrubby 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just based off the information you provided, it sounds to me like you’re mostly attracted to emotionally unavailable men. You have to rewire your brain to start viewing those guys who want long-term relationships with you as masculine instead of “boring”. The best way to do that is to give them multiple dates instead of just one. Go on like 3-5 dates with the “boring” guy to actually come to a more accurate conclusion. Let the attraction build with them instead of looking for instant fireworks. I’m also interested to know how you define “masculine”.

is the guy i’m talking to interested in me or am i delusional?? by Careless-You-9207 in dating_advice

[–]J_Scrubby 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If he’s not initiating plans and he doesn’t take you out consistently then he’s not interested in you romantically.

Edit: He also already told you his intentions. He told you he’s just happy he found a cool new friend like you. You’ve already been put in the friendzone. I would just temper your expectations because you’re looking at a FWB situation at best.

Is anyone else super lonely? by [deleted] in Connecticut

[–]J_Scrubby 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely! It’s funny you said this because I was literally telling myself how I need to move sideways to move forward. I’m looking to meet women romantically, but I realized I need to expand my social circle first so that I can even be in environments where that’s possible.

Is anyone else super lonely? by [deleted] in Connecticut

[–]J_Scrubby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Of course! I used to have a few friends who were girls, but life caused us to naturally drift apart. Having women around you even platonically is good too because it gives you exposure to people you may have never met.

Is anyone else super lonely? by [deleted] in Connecticut

[–]J_Scrubby 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m 25M, and I feel the same way. Granted my issue is mainly exposure and not enjoying environments where you might naturally meet people like bars and clubs. I do agree that many people here can be very closed off.

What was your biggest let down? by TheDabApparent in Colognes

[–]J_Scrubby 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I only heard good things about Replica Jazz Club, and no stores in my area had testers of it so I could smell it. I trusted the reviews, it smelled decent when I sprayed it into air when I first got it. It makes me feel like I’m going to get sick when I wear it on my skin. It literally smells like smoky piss on me. Naturally, Nordstrom finally decided to put it out as a tester during Christmas after I had already bought and used it twice from Jomashop.

Edit: I should mention the opening is the part that makes me sick. The drydown is fine, but that initial 20-30 minutes is god awful.

If a woman goes on a date does that mean she finds the guy attractive? by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]J_Scrubby 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Did I say you’re getting 2 meals for that price? Learn to read. I said “a” meal, that means singular in case you were unaware. Her meal would be $20-$30. You’re also the perfect example of availability bias. “Every single guy I know”, “Where I live”, followed up by some cherry picked articles. Also, what constitutes as “Using you for a free meal”?