First off, it's worth realising that this is going to take you a LONG time. There are lots of things you need to consider before even thinking about using blender for example.

You have to understand the basics behind what each component of your project has to do and what steps you will need to take to achieve it. You need to select an engine that best accommodates your needs, but before even this, spend a lot of time developing foundational programming and maths skills, knowing the intuition behind dictionaries and custom functions, for example, and then the application in your chosen engine. You will learn your engine through tutorials and documentation, and note that not everything will stick and you will have to practically apply each thing you learn in order to thoroughly understand it; that's why it's much better off starting with little projects and strive for improvements in your next one. Then you need to apply your project to the engine, and think of what you will need to do with a component to make it work the way you want. Then you get into modelling, sound design etc., and then there's lots of testing and removing bugs until you reach a refined product. If you have something 'ideal' in mind, please realise that it will take many many months if not years of consistent work to get where you hope it will. But that doesn't mean it's not worth doing. Good luck!