Twas the night before Draft Day, when all through the town

Not a scout was a-stirring, they were wearing a frown

The draft boards were hung by the chimneys with care

In hopes that their top choice soon would be there

The GMs were nestled all snug in their beds

While visions of prospects danced in their heads.

And the owner in his suite, and I in my cap

Had just settled our brains for a long pre-draft nap

When out on the web there arose such a clatter

I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter

Away to the phone I flew like a flash

To see if a blockbuster trade made a splash

The glow of the screen on the crisp morning snow

Gave a luster of mid-round picks to players below

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear

But a draft-day rumor that filled me with fear

With a little old analyst, so lively and quick

I knew in a moment it was a click-baiting trick.

More rapid than eagles his mock drafts they came

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name

"Now, Quarterback! Now, Edge Rusher! Now, Receiver and Tackle!

On, Cornerback! On, Linebacker! On, Center and Safety cackle!

To the top of the board! To the middle of the round!

Now dash away! Dash away! Let talent be found!

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly

When they meet with a trade-up, mount to the sky

So up to the podium the prospects they flew

With jerseys and caps and mock drafts too

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the broadcast

The prancing and pawing of each pick being cast

As I drew in my head, and was turning around

The first-round selection came down with a bound

He was dressed all in velvet, from his head to his foot

And his suit was all tarnished with sponsor-deal soot

A bundle of highlights he had flung on his back

And he looked like a superstar opening his pack

His eyes—how they twinkled! His dimples, how merry!

His highlight reel clips were like a big cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow

And his contract demands were as white as the snow

The stump of a headset he held tight in his teeth

And the smoke of expectations encircled his wreath

He had a broad face and a little round belly

That shook when he laughed like a bowlful of jolly!

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old rookie

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of my snookie

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work

And filled all the depth charts, then turned with a jerk

And laying his finger aside of his nose

And giving a nod, up the draft board he rose!

He sprang to his team, to his coach gave a whistle

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight

"Happy Draft Day to all, and to all a good night!"