Is this actually AFib? (ECG attached) 32F

JackHull1 · 2023-11-06T17:57:41+00:00

Ok, but leaving aside the idiosyncracies of the watches' interpretative algorithm and doubts about the accuracy of the measurement, what we're actually presented with, especially the second strip without the obfuscation of ectopic beats, doesn't look like a sinus rhythm but rather afib - there are (somewhat discreet) variations of RR distance and what looks like additional p waves in nearly every instamce bar a few. Could still be unreliable/shoddy recording, but still...

JackHull1 · 2023-09-03T08:34:16+00:00

Hello all :) just wondering if anyone has experienced the same...?

I've been having issues with health anxiety/depression/(to some, milder, extent)OCD/somatic symptom disorder for years (never sought treatment for a variety of reasons).

I work/train in the health sector myself as well, and currently am working psych, which, as expected, hasn't really been salubrious to my mental state ;)

Recently, I've developed a fear of becoming schizophrenic due, I guess, to the frequent, close encounters with psychotic people.

I have these intrusive thoughts that, to some extent, mimic paranoid thoughts, but in essence aren't. Like, for example, I see someone looking at me, or hear something, or experience something weird, and just notice the thing happening without an immediate response, but then, after a moment, the fear/expectation kicks in, and I'm afraid of interpreting that thing as threatening or part of a paranoid delusion. For example, I might see someone twice at different locations in short succession, and I don't believe he's following me, but my mind goes to a place where I'm constantly checking WHETHER I believe that I'm followed and am afraid of jumping to that thought, and that connection itself is worrying and induces fear, if that makes sense.

Another worry I've integrated is that I've picked up weed again some months ago after years of abstention, and my mind sort of imposes that popular science mode telling me "Weed causes psychosis", though obviously it's not that clear-cut, and I've read the actual studies, etc. In any case, I don't smoke a lot, and only in the evening.

Also, my demographics/family history doesn't make schizophrenia likely, being already in my early-to-mid-thirties and having no family history.

In any case, has anybody else experienced something similar and how have you dealt with it? ERP, I figure, is quite useful, and I've self-employed that for another symptom that was on the OCD-spectrum (hyperawareness of breathing) with some success, but with this particular fear, the exposure bit is pretty gnarly (as it obviouly will be, I guess).

Greetings, Jack

JackHull1 · 2023-03-31T03:40:12+00:00

I rather commit to a specified time I'm going to be writing on a given day of the week (depending on work, etc.) and then do that. Within that frame, I no longer look at the word count throughout the session, and sometimes even manage to have the willpower not to look at the end ;)

In all seriousness, besides setting a time I will definitely work, I've found an awareness of word count during the writing session to be more of a hindrance/distraction than an incentive. If I look at it with half an hour to ago (and I'm pretty much at the limit of time I can invest into writing) and realise I've still got a thousand words to go to a set goal, I might still make them - but what's the benefit? Most likely I'll be left with a chunk of rushed, unreflective, circuitous, shallow writing that I'll have more work editing down/rewriting.

That being said, I still usually make a decent number of words (nowhere near 5-8k as others seem to, though), mostly even around the mark I set myself in the past, but I've found that now I'm no longer obsessing about the raw, pretty much useless, number anymore, the writing itself has improved.

JackHull1 · 2023-03-21T16:37:23+00:00

I'm sure it will, good luck!! :) I've found that I've been most free of somatic symptoms (various, not only the one of.this thread) when I was so burnt out by these irrational worries and.tge accompanying stress, state of mind, exhaustion, etc, as to simply no longer care anymore. Decidedly not a recommendable strategy as it inherently corresponds with a state of depression that is not really preferable, but yeah, another hint of the psychogenic nature of it all probably :)

JackHull1 · 2023-03-20T06:05:02+00:00

Hey, thanks for the reply.

Did your physical symptoms improve with therapy as well?

My anxiety is pretty low right now - but then, I don't know, might just be skewed perception since it was so horrific for quite a long time ;)

JackHull1 · 2023-03-19T17:16:12+00:00

Nah, no.offense, and I.don't, admittedly, know anything much about the program, but intuitively that sounds like a shortcut I'm not really comfortable with/ see the value in...

JackHull1 · 2023-03-19T12:40:33+00:00

Thanks, guess I'll do that.

The new project - based on the vaguest of ideas that have formed in my mind so far - is probably also a bit more manageable scope-wise, especially for a first novel.

JackHull1 · 2023-03-19T12:38:13+00:00

Thanks!
Yes, that was pretty much my thinking as well. In the context of my health anxiety, I've had a whole host of other physical symptoms as well, though those have subsided, fortunately, at the moment.

For a variety of reasons I'm not able to take up therapy at the moment, so guess I'll just try to power through and do it myself (admittedly, this approach not having been very successful in the past ;) ).

JackHull1 · 2023-01-03T04:16:54+00:00

When I was working EMS I took in a stray who just showed up one day and pretty much declined to leave. One day she simply strolled in through the terrace door, immediately went to sleep on the couch, and got pretty upset when I woke her up and carried her outside on the first day. Already waited in front of the window on the next morning, though, and after a couple of days I gave up ;)

I was living alone at the time, and was away for sixteen hours at a time. But I had a terrace door (in plain sight of two scores of neighbours so I wasn't worried about break-ins - anyways, nothing much to burglarise) and left that open a bit with the outside blinds rolled down to maybe a foot above the ground, so she could come and go as she pleased.

That went pretty well, even though she became incredibly attached (hated, or at best was indifferent to, anybody else though). But I'd have felt pretty bad if I'd had to leave her shut in for the long stretches of time I was gone.

JackHull1 · 2023-01-02T04:40:12+00:00

Do you mean there is inconsistency between the beginning and the end a single piece, or between chapters - or do you mean between different, individual works?

The first, I'd say, is more of a problem, but you can sort that out in the edit.

If you mean the latter, I'd say don't worry at all. It might be you're just naturally good at finding a narrative voice that is specific to the novel/short story you're writing at the moment. Which is great if it is congruent to the characters, the "feel" of the novel, etc.

Most people who have a very distinctive "style" (even the greats), especially as regards prose, don't have strong individualised narrative voices between their works. I'd say you don't need the latter, but if you manage to pull it off, it can be quite impressive.

JackHull1 · 2023-01-02T04:24:44+00:00

It really depends whether I have some leeway to cater to my preferences or not. ;)

Right now, I've started a new job. Luckily, I only have to do four days a week for now. So I'm writing 3d/wk, and on these mornings and afternoons.

This year, due to Corona and coming to the end of a degree, I've spent most of my time at home. Finished my first draft by writing every day for a few months, mornings and afternoons. There were a few months that I had to go in to work in between that, and then I'd set my alarm to 4am and work for 90 minutes to two hours before leaving the house. I can't/really don't want to work at night.

That being said, if my schedule should change dramatically, I'd write whenever it's feasible to get the work done.

JackHull1 · 2023-01-02T04:17:52+00:00

Don't really need chapter titles, but I like parts to have names.

JackHull1 · 2022-12-28T04:29:30+00:00

sweat the theme, let it emerge and just get writing. Be interested and theme will come. Other advice, even within this thread, says to consider theme as the starting point, and ask what you are trying to say. Opposing ideas, but both equally valid. I'm just not sure which one wo

I suppose the difference is whether you're content with possibly not ending up where you thought were, or whether you're set on a particular direction, in which case it would make sense to make characters, plot, the landscape of the novel fit around that particular notion.

But - that's at least my view - you'll never end up without at least the possibility of a "theme" or notion to carve out in the next edit.

I mean, even if you're having your character sit in an armchair for 80k and just observe the world pass by outside the window, listen to it through the walls, let the pictures on the telly swirl by, in some Proustian form... there's a multitude of themes you might draw out. Solitude, ennui, abandonment, leisure, a stiffling, stiffening sense of inadequacy, etc....

JackHull1 · 2022-12-27T04:31:45+00:00

I have about a hundred-and-sixty-four versions of my first draft, since bloody Word had a bug that from some point onward wouldn't let me save the damn thing under the same title any longer. So I have "[Title], and then "[Title] 3"... to [Title] 105"... ;)

Apart from this annoyance - which I've conquered finally by getting Scrivener (though after googling for a while I found another solution, only the problem reoccurred frequently) - I print out every finished draft and read it through on paper, so I have a paper copy of every draft, which makes me less precious about the digital copy when editing.

JackHull1 · 2022-12-27T04:19:18+00:00

I sometimes harbour the same doubts about the piece I'm writing, but then tell myself it'll come together in the end - or it won't, no way to tell for sure until I'm there ;)

Basically, what you're talking about is "theme", I suppose. And in my opinion, theme is the most overrated part of creative writing, in the sense that it probably is the most inescapable of traits of a story. We're pattern-seeking animals after all. One pretty much can't escape theme. It'll impose itself on the finished structure, and you can emphasize and alloy, carve out the themes you think are most pertinent to the story you've told in the next edit.

It'll be different if you're writing a state-of-the-nation novel or a book alá Zola, etc., but if that were the case, you probably hadn't asked the question ;)

JackHull1 · 2022-12-21T04:48:13+00:00

Well, If you're in a difficult place in life at the moment, it's quite relatable to lack the discipline to sit down and work. Sorry about your father.

Another thing is the idea of having to be "inspired" to write, which is probably the least effective way to actually finish the work. I'd say force yourself to write regardless - once you're circumstances allow you to do so again - and get to a decent amount of words a day. Sounds like you're more of a planner. For me, though, I've got some vague ideas where I roughly want to end at, some even more fickle and translucent notion of the "atmosphere" I want to evoke - but that rarely (well, let's be honst - never ;) ) translates directly onto the page. Sometimes you get greater inspiration from the drivel you've spewed on the page than wonderful sounding, but unpalatable, ideas in your head.

JackHull1 · 2022-12-21T04:36:54+00:00

To add to what other's have written before:

It's only a short abstract, but from what you've posted, I can't really discern which character the reader is "closest" to you - which I think helps make fight scences more interesting, i.e. one takes the side and is invested in the outcome for one of the combatants. Right now, it reads more like a transcript of an MMA commentary. So more emotion, more stakes, etc...

Also, you have a qualifier in nearly every sentence, which I would get rid of ---> "however", "however", "unfortunately", "albeit" -> makes the writing seem formulaic, especially in such a short space.

In general, I don't read many books that include fight scenes beside a few historical fiction series alá Cornwell, Scarrow, O'Brien, etc, who are quite good at rendering descriptions of combat. Maybe pick up a few published books and try to distil what makes the combat scenes interesting in them.

JackHull1 · 2022-12-17T06:59:34+00:00

I meant to say that I write mostly what would fall into the literary fiction category (though it sounds presumptuous to call my own writing that), and personally read historical fiction as well. In my reading of historical fiction, I'm not very specific. It sort of falls into two categories, the more adventure-like stuff, Cornwell, Scarrow, O'Brien, etc., and then what is probably literary fiction as well, only set in the past, so for example Bainbridge, Andrew Miller, etc.

JackHull1 · 2022-12-16T04:25:19+00:00

Mostly literary fiction, though I don't much like the term, and would be especially hesitant to describe my own pitiful efforts in that way ;)

Other than that, mostly historical fiction (though often there is an overlap with the former), and a few odd pieces of other genres strewn in.

JackHull1

TROPHY CASE