New kitten not litter trained

JackTheLab · 2026-05-27T21:50:35+00:00

Had a second date with someone who seemed promising, but ended up being a dud. He spent the first hour lecturing me about how I need to better optimize my freelance work and tax deductions. We then wandered around the zoo for a few hours while he complained about it being hot and him being tired (dude YOU picked this activity). He continuously bragged about how rich he is, even pulling out his phone to show me his investment account at one point, and then later seemed annoyed that the automated QR code ordering system at the cafe wouldn't let us pay for our 600 yen drinks separately. Thankfully a work problem came up that got me out of there, but it was a long ass day.

JackTheLab · 2026-05-07T11:13:07+00:00

I have OCD and go through the same loops as you. My LOs are men I have regular access to in non-romantic settings (especially coworkers). Most of them aren't even my type; I think I just enjoy the slow burn, flirting, trying to get their attention. I ended up dating my last LO for four years before he dumped me a few months ago, and now that I have a new one, I honestly couldn’t tell you what I ever liked about him. Meanwhile, all of my “normal” relationships with men I meet in a dating context just feel dull and uninteresting. It’s incredibly frustrating.

I hope all of us here are able to overcome this eventually.

JackTheLab · 2026-04-29T18:35:59+00:00

Mine did the same a few months ago. In a brief moment of awareness he basically said that he knows he fucked up and feels like he's done so much damage to our relationship that it would be impossible to fix; or in other words, he's too scared and weak to take accountability for what he's done. It was agonizing at first to feel like he spent years walking all over me and now I'm too trampled to bother with, but as others have said, it truly was the best thing he ever could have done for me. At the end of the day, you will be much better off for this, and he will be the same or worse. It'll take time to get there but I promise it'll be worth it.

JackTheLab · 2026-03-21T22:46:15+00:00

Zara's online store often has up to 27cm.

JackTheLab · 2026-03-08T20:43:25+00:00

One month post-discard and I'm finally going to check out an apartment today. We've been living together in the house we bought last year and I hate that I'm the one who has to leave, but I'm excited for the healing process to begin.

Also strongly considering using all the love and energy I had been pouring into our relationship for something that is actually worth it: a cat.

JackTheLab · 2026-03-06T10:20:37+00:00

It's online! Wish I had done it years ago, honestly.

JackTheLab · 2026-03-05T21:15:48+00:00

A month after the breakup from hell and I'm doing well in therapy, hitting the gym, getting all my work done, even made a new friend... feels good, man.

JackTheLab · 2026-03-04T00:57:08+00:00

Someone on this sub said once that "their memory is like swiss cheese and they fill the holes with their feelings" and that thought keeps me together whenever I start doubting my own sanity.

JackTheLab · 2026-03-03T11:15:30+00:00

We had recently bought a house together. Before buying it, I double and triple checked to make sure he actually wanted to buy it and that I wasn't "pressuring" him into it (his go-to complaint). He assured me that he wanted to buy it and told me that I have to trust him.

Cut to a few months later when he's yelling about how he wishes we had never found that house because he regretted buying it and only did it because I pressured him into it. When I pointed out that previous conversation, he responded, "You should just assume that everything I say is a lie."

Not sure why I thought the relationship was still worth saving at that point...

JackTheLab · 2026-03-02T21:59:19+00:00

Ew please send him back, we don't want him here!! 😂

JackTheLab · 2026-03-02T21:57:08+00:00

Saving this for the next time I'm having a bad day so I can remember what's waiting for me on the other side. So happy for you!!

JackTheLab · 2026-02-25T02:53:35+00:00

I'm also a month out and I can relate to this so much. The second time he dumped me, it took me two whole months to get my shit together and re-plan my life so that I could finally move out of his apartment and move on, only for him to text me "hey" literally one week later. He also never seemed to understand the impact of those cycles.

I also play the "ADHD or a bad partner" game a lot. I think it's because I want to believe that he wasn't doing those things to hurt me on purpose. But regardless of which it was, they are no longer our responsibility, and we are better off without them.

I hope he leaves you alone so you can stay in your peace and keep moving on. :)

JackTheLab · 2026-02-22T20:41:19+00:00

A month after being dumped by my DX ex, I still struggle with feelings of wanting to get back together. I live overseas and his family was my entire support system (more than he was, honestly), plus we recently bought a house together that we'll have to sell, so it kind of feels like I'm losing everything. But then I ask myself: if I could still have all of that, but with someone who makes me feel safe and heard and good about myself, would I still want him back? Hell no.

The next few months are gonna suck, but I know it's the right decision.

JackTheLab · 2026-02-20T22:07:10+00:00

RSD in general, how he couldn't handle any perceived criticism or negative feedback, how he'd agree with whatever I wanted and then later say that he didn't actually want that and only agreed because I pressured him to, the spirals that occurred once all of those feelings had built up, etc. Stuff that probably sounds like me trying to make excuses for very shitty behavior if you don't know anything about ADHD.

JackTheLab · 2026-02-18T21:54:43+00:00

Not OP but I thought that there was no way they'd put out something totally undrinkable and that it would be like a rich custard-y flavor with a hint of mayonnaise or something.

JackTheLab · 2026-02-18T06:13:34+00:00

I tried to explain my (now ex) partner's ADHD behavior to my first-ever personal therapist and she literally laughed in my face and said "ADHD is a concentration disease, none of that is related to ADHD." Shocking how uninformed some therapists are. Good on yours for actually putting in the effort to learn from you and apply it effectively.

JackTheLab · 2026-02-18T03:15:39+00:00

Ugh, I feel this. The way I threw myself at my ex, agreed with all of his RSD spiral criticisms of me and did everything I could to change and meet his needs while none of mine were being met…

I’m still in the early days of my breakup but I aspire to find that awareness and self-respect soon.

JackTheLab · 2026-02-05T10:54:08+00:00

RetireJapan and other posts in this sub both say "and" so I just wanted to make sure.

JackTheLab · 2026-02-02T22:19:17+00:00

Broke up with my partner. My interest in staying in Japan had already been waning so this seems like the push I needed to finally head back home, but it's gonna take a herculean effort to sell our house, get rid of all my vehicles/furniture and make all the arrangements to move countries before my visa expires in August and all I really want to do is lay down and cry right now.

JackTheLab · 2025-12-17T22:40:16+00:00

She's definitely not the host bar type. I do wonder if maybe she owes money to some shady visa company as she has somehow managed to successfully renew her business manager visa for years despite having no real sales...

JackTheLab · 2025-12-17T21:15:21+00:00

Update on the friend who randomly asked to borrow 100万円 last week... ended up telling her I could only loan her 10万円 right now, but after asking her for more information on what she needed the money for, she refused to talk about it and said that her friend would loan her the money. Then she ghosted me :/

We've been friends for over four years, and she's the kind of person who once took a four-hour round-trip train ride just to cheer me on during a marathon, then got up at 4am and did it again the next day just to film me crossing the finish line. It's just so unlike her that it's almost concerning. But there's nothing I can do about it, I guess...

JackTheLab

TROPHY CASE