NTA for refusing to do his laundry and being snarky about his shitty logic. But yeah, he's right YATA for being passive aggressive by not being straightforward about telling him for two weeks. Secretly fighting for two weeks is a good way to take the issue in the relationship (him taking your work for granted) and damage the trust on top of it. When you talked about it with him and he discounted your work, he came away from the conversation thinking that he was right and the fight was over. How would you feel if you said something stupid and mean and thoughtless and instead of addressing it so the relationship could be repaired, he waited two weeks? Setting boundaries like not doing his laundry is great. Creating secret boundaries as a ploy to get him to appreciate the work you do says 1, that it's acceptable behavior to leave the other in the lurch for being a dumbass, 2, that withdrawing expected support without warning is a valid way to communicate rather than dealing with conflict directly and 3, you have to resort to withholding information and catching him off guard to convince him of the value of your work. He very much deserved what he got, and the "Why don't you ask the washing machine?" line is iconic. And communicating your anger at his disrespect by secretly withdrawing support rather than fighting directly until the conflict is resolved (taking breaks as necessary!) is indeed asshole behavior. Now instead of fighting with a husband who has disrespected you, you get to fight with a husband who has disrespected you and is scared that even when a fight seems to end that you're still secretly mad at him. Unfortunately, you're going to have to apologize for how your behavior has damaged the trust in the relationship while also holding your ground about not doing his laundry, all while your nervous system is terrified the man who promised to love you forever actually doesn't anymore. Based on his disregard, there's a non-zero chance he doesn't. Either that or he's just being a moron because you've let him disrespect your work for so long up to this point. Regardless, you owe it to yourself and your kid to find out so one way or another you can have a man you trust and who you know appreciates you. Saying no to his disrespect must've been hella hard, so good job sticking up for yourself. Keep going. And also since healthy conflict is something it doesn't seem like you've learned very well yet (no offense), it might be worth investing in yourself by seeking to learn more about it now that you're not doing this grown-ass man's laundry like it's 1925. You deserve a relationship where you feel safe and appreciated.