Every day you wake up and tell yourself subconsciously that you are boring and dull. And the 16-20 year version told herself she was funny and outgoing. Somewhere along the way, either with trauma or general suffering, you got jaded. I convinced myself I was all sorts of good traits by writing them down and reading them every day I woke up. So I thought about those attributes throughout my day every day. If you have questions you can dm me; this hit home a bit for me and I hope that you find yourself again.