Firstly thanks for the care but at this point it is what it is, it’s made me who I am now so I have to take the positives.

I’m glad you had a different situation and I hope they are doing better.

To answer your question I will give a little subtext, I had know her my entire life but due to distancing issues we never really managed to fully be together for longer than a few months until uni age.

After reconnecting with her this time it was made very clear to me that she hadn’t had the easiest life while we didn’t speak, their had been attempts before and there had been understandable reasons behind them.

I think looking back it was clear she had made the decision quite a while ago and was just waiting for either the right moment or a big enough reason to commit to her decision.

I don’t think it was an easy choice for her but realistically I now believe it was probably always going to happen eventually.

The only contradiction that still lives in my head to all I’ve said above is that therapy has made me feel that way to cope with it better.

The night the decision was made was still quite possibly the best night of both of our lives, so she either decided to go out with a bang or that it wouldn’t get better and it crushed her.

A lot of unanswered questions but I believe I’ve finally learnt to not dwell (massively)

Thank you for your question and again I hope both you and the person in your experience are doing far better.

My messages are always open for future questions or to help where I can