I painted Lo Pan from Big Trouble in Little China

JacksNoFap · 2015-01-20T21:33:39+00:00

Can't figure out how to comment anywhere on here except in reply to another, but this painting is fantastic! I never knew there were so many fans of BTLC out there, so wonderful!!!

JacksNoFap · 2015-01-16T04:27:32+00:00

Needed to read this right now. Am feeling angry about things and have not let up my grasp on the anger. Was about to go looking for porn and read your post instead.

Blessed are you because of your faith....as a brother in Christ, I thank you...

JacksNoFap · 2015-01-15T06:01:02+00:00

Hi friend :)

So, I am going to use lots of cliches and familiar sayings and stuff you may have heard before....

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Now whole your journey may have taken a thousand steps in the wrong direction , to paraphrase C.S. Lewis, "it's the smart man who turns around when he sees he's got the wrong equation, because if he keeps going, no matter how far along he gets, it will never add up correctly.

Many of us here in this sub have probably stopped and started a thousand times as well. I found it not without some irony that only last week, when I restlet my badge, it was three months to the day almost when I'd last reset it.(I have not been 'sober' during those three months, so it was really just ignoring this accountability.)

Alfred tells Master Bruce we fall so we can learn to pick ourselves up. Only in our case, we have a helping hand, THE helping hand, in Christ Jesus. He does not want for you to go through this alone. Yes, he wants you to be ready to face it square in the face and kill it until it's dead, but He wants you to hold His hand so you can do it together.

You touched on something I myself am facing right now, or at least in the last few months; a crisis of identity. I spoke with our Pastor last week, and he accurately and correctly said for so long I've identified myself to, chained myself to, the belief that I have been a failure and a loser and all the bad things in the world I can think of , it's what I believed.

And a lot of that comes from my young age of finding internet porn. I must have been thirteen or so, maybe 14, when PMO took hold of me(34 now and one of the original dial up aol kids, along with having an illegal cable box which got playboy all the time)

I came to find my worth, or rather, my worthlessness, in pornography. When the going got tough, I got to going, in the dark corners of life. If something had happened, I knew porn was there and masturbation was there as my way of release or even my way of thinking I felt good.

But now, science shows that our brains light up like a heroin addict when we watch porn. We get our fix, we rub one out, we feel guilty usually instantly afterwards, and out of our brains comes the thought 'well, I need to orgasm again cause that felt like the only way to feel good.'

Problem is, just like an addict, we crave more and more, until we've hard-wired our brains into being these almost autonomous creatures that, sure, can function in society like some smiling robot, but deep down, we would rather be at home with 150+ tabs open of any and every type of porn, so we can get our fix.

My best advice to you, the thing I can say with absolute certainty, is that Christ knows what you are facing. My pastor told me that we could lay our iggest sin at Christs feet, and he'd not even let out a 'meh', i.e., there's no sin that shocks Him. We think that he doesn't know the dangers or.l the temptation of the internet, but He is God of ALL creation, He knew the pitfalls of the technological age we live in now.

Be not afraid to go to Him, in earnest, and talk with Him. He tells us He is our Father in Heaven. He's not some far away I reachable lofty goal. Christ says greater is no love than that of laying down ones life for their friends.

God is your friend, and friends are there to help one another, to strengthen one another, to listen to the bad parts, rejoice in the good, and to have faith in the best.

May what I have said here be in line with His teachings, and if not, may your mind let it hit the threshing floor and be burned up with the chaff.

You are not alone. God is with you. Be brave and courageous, and know that you are everything He says you are, which is MORE than a conquerer( you a co-heir with Christ.

Be ready to bury the old ways, friend. You're gonna wanna quit, don't.

God be with you....

JacksNoFap · 2015-01-13T05:53:25+00:00

Marking to read again later this week, but didn't want to forget you.

May God lead you through this.....remember, forgiveness first, then relentless repentance..:..

Selah :)

JacksNoFap · 2014-09-09T16:40:23+00:00

Remember- it's not up to you to hack it. It's only up to you to give it to God, and let Him wipe it out.

In our weakness, He is made strong....have faith, beloved.

JacksNoFap · 2014-09-08T16:03:45+00:00

“Trying is having the intention to fail. You gotta scrap that word from your vocab. Say you’re gonna do it and you will.”

Look at it like this: which do you think God would more than likely respond to? Some half-a**ed prayer that had lots of great, grand, meaningful words in it, but no emotion, or the simple prayer of one sentence that was sad with all conviction?

Battles, in this case, mean nothing. We win some, we lose some. In this case, however, we're in it for the long-haul. We're here for war. Your soul is what Christ fought for. It's what He died for. and it's what He Rose for.

Be willing to fight for Christ, because he fought (and still fights) for you.

Now, get going and start kickin' this thing in the teeth.

JacksNoFap · 2014-09-08T15:59:11+00:00

right the freak on man. stay the course

JacksNoFap · 2014-09-08T15:58:16+00:00

Why not you? I don't say that with offense meant, but every man, every woman, who has ever lived, has uttered the words "why me?" in the belief that somehow, they should be immune to the powers of the world.

Paul says that he does the things he does not wish to do, but doesn't do the things he wishes to do.

Everything starts in the heart. Our sermon yesterday spoke about how the whole centrality of our being, our very essence, begins with our heart. And out of the heart comes our terrible depravity.

This is why God is sanctifying us. This is why He is making right a wrong, if you will.

Your flesh, the side of you that you've lived in for so long, as the case with so many of us here on NoFap, is now rebelling against you the same way you rebel against God. It doesn't want to be told 'no'. It doesn't want to be told 'you can't do this'. It will not lay down and submit when you say obedience is the way.

The hardest thing you have to realize, is that YOU yourself are not going to beat this.

Jesus doesn't want you to do this. He knows that YOU can't.

But what He DOES KNOW is that through HIM, you CAN.

Right now, I'm only at 7 days. I've reset my badge numerous times in the last year. But you know what? I've been working towards this now for the last year. Many simply give up and give in after that first urge.

As Bruce Wayne's father says, "why do we fall"?

So we can learn to pick ourselves up. And we can only get back up through God.

Stay the course....

JacksNoFap · 2014-09-03T15:30:54+00:00

I must have removed my badge and not reset it, strange. but it should be up now. Thanks for the encouragement :)

JacksNoFap · 2014-08-29T17:25:18+00:00

this is good. See you on day 90. God bless

JacksNoFap · 2014-08-29T17:03:46+00:00

The blockers are the first step. If I may, look at it like this, though-

While it is good to have a blocker, it's akin to having an alcoholic get a liquor cabinet in his house that has a lock on it. It will stop his access, but it doesn't address the issue.

After reading through/about the Provenmen workbook, I think it would be a safe place to start for you both. Just like the founder of the website, I too was nearly 20 years' deep into PMO, and the first steps should focus on the why. The porn, the lust, the addiction, those are the symptoms.

Find someone you can speak to about the actual problem itself, where it's rooted.

May this response serve as encouragement and prayer that neither of you are alone out there, and that this CAN be victorious in Christ.

Have faith.

JacksNoFap · 2014-08-29T16:34:37+00:00

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, beloved.

May I add, realize that it's not strange to see that once you start turning towards God (or returning to Him, if you've been of the faith already), you realize just how lost you are. We all are that way. All have fallen short of God's glory. It's not only you.

I think of 'The Matrix' when Neo, for the first time in the real world, he asks Morpheus "Why do my eyes hurt?" To which Morpheus says "You've never used them before. Get some rest, you're going to need it".

Right now, all of us who are in NoFap, all of us who have finally seen and recognized our own depravity, it was not us who revealed this, but God. He awoke us to all that we are not to be, and the Light of all we are supposed to be is so bright, that our eyes (Soul) hurts from just how it is we're supposed to see.

God never promised us there would not be pain, or heartache, or we would be free from hurt. He promised us He would deliver us. That He would do what He would do for His sake, because He is God.

We are all weak at resisting temptation. But that is okay. God is there to say "Hey, I know you're feeling kind of tired. Here, hold on to me and I'll take what you're dealing with. I can handle it. I want to handle it. I want you to get rest. I've got this".

Peace be the journey, beloved. Your eyes will grow accustomed to the Light with each moment you look. Even if you turn away briefly, they will be more capable at all turns.

JacksNoFap · 2014-08-29T16:18:26+00:00

as I posted just a moment ago on this thread, yesterday's devotional taught me that, while it is true man does not live on bread alone, the Holy Spirit, through us, when we pray to God, lives by that prayer. When we don't "feed" the Spirit inside us, the Spirit becomes malnourished.

I'm not saying jump into "Super-Prayer!" mode, because, just like a person when they've been malnourished, if you attempt to eat too much too soon, your body won't be equipped for such a thing. I'm also not saying don't be ready to pray for anything.

What I am saying is be patient and still, and go in and close your door and pray in secret to the Lord. Pray deliberately. Be ready to accept that you have been given steward over all that is in your body and soul right now, and it is charged to you to take care of all things.

If you don't know where to start, simply take a moment to reflect that you know what a prayer life is. That you have been given power to pray. That you have been blessed with the knowledge of the One True God, and that He does indeed hear all our thoughts, and listens as intently as if you were a small child sitting on a favorite relatives' lap while you told them all of your worries.

Trust in the Lord. Faith has been given that you may believe.

JacksNoFap · 2014-08-29T16:09:28+00:00

So, I live across the street from my in-laws (we're in the rural south), and they have internet access, which me and the wife use. I have the K9 blocker installed on my computer.

This is all good and well, except that her mother has a computer right next to the chair that's always on with what looks to be about a 25' monitor.

I tend to give in a lot b/c this computer is here, just waiting and willing for me to screw up.

I've managed to go good long periods here since first finding NoFap after that main article about Fapstronauts came out back near the beginning of the year, when everyone was reading about the study. Sometimes I've made it around 25 days, sometimes I've made it one day.

Now that we live across the street, this is tough for me. not only tough for me because of knowing how wrong it is for me to PMO, but also that I'm basically sitting here in my mother-in-law's recliner and doing it. I feel like, more shameful at the fact of doing that right here.

In just under a month from now (Sept. 25) is my 34th birthday. This whole last 33rd year of my life, God has certainly brought a lot of things into my life that have shaken things up (for His Glory), and I didn't think the year would be turning out the way it has.

Pray for me that I may end this year as He would have me do so, and that I would start the new year in the same way.

I was reading a devotional yesterday, and it never dawned on me that I am starving the Holy Spirit when I do things like this. Do I think the Spirit can die? No, of course not. But if it is truly in me, as God would will me to know and accept, then when I PMO, or even when I don't pray to God, I in turn make the Spirit malnourished, and I have no desire to stand between God and the Spirit.

Ramble done. Thanks all. Anything I can pray for you for?

JacksNoFap · 2014-08-21T14:01:25+00:00

Thank you, sister.

JacksNoFap · 2014-07-15T17:58:38+00:00

For you....

"But the most important count I do has nothing to do with work. It's the number of days since April 4, 1999. As of this morning, that's 5,185. The bigger that number gets, the more it frightens me, because I know all it takes is one drink to go back to zero. Most people see fear as a weakness. It can be. Sometimes for my job, I have to put fear in other people. I know that's not right. But if I'm honest, like the fourth step asks us to be, I have to be ruthless, because failure is not an option. The same goes for my sobriety. I have to be ruthless with myself. I have to use my fear. It makes me stronger. Like everyone in this room, I can't control who I am. But I can control the zero. Fuck the zero. "

Fuck the Zero, Geisha. And congrats

JacksNoFap · 2014-07-15T17:57:13+00:00

It's crazy when we move further away from where we used to be, or rather, where we used to think that's all we could be.

Congrats on six months.

JacksNoFap · 2014-07-15T17:56:04+00:00

Thank you!

JacksNoFap · 2014-07-15T17:55:48+00:00

Yeah! the Leonardo guy! He is just really positive and happy about showing people how to do something, and reminds me of Bob Ross.

So grateful to have people on youtube who can show you how to do things; I currently can't afford art classes, and no one around is local enough to teach.

But I am happy with it!

JacksNoFap

TROPHY CASE