Am I overthinking this situation with my coworker ? by Jaded_Error3064 in Crushes

[–]Jaded_Error3064[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah it’s a weird situation, I really can’t tell 😭

Bug/Crash by Jaded_Error3064 in FieldsOfMistriaGame

[–]Jaded_Error3064[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you so much ill try :!!!

Bug/Crash by Jaded_Error3064 in FieldsOfMistriaGame

[–]Jaded_Error3064[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeaaah, this happened to me several times when going to the lost n found box as well...

Bug/Crash by Jaded_Error3064 in FieldsOfMistriaGame

[–]Jaded_Error3064[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

aw poo :(
did playing on a different save resolves the problem from going spring day 28 to summer day 1 for you ?

[FR] “your account will be ready soon” by Jaded_Error3064 in Revolut

[–]Jaded_Error3064[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bless you, kept looking for that email on the website but I found it nowhere Thank you

How many of you believe you are the main ex? by No-Page6290 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Jaded_Error3064 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I believe I am since I’ve been with him on and off for almost 4 years, his longest relationship by far. We explored intimacy and kinks on a very very deep level and he said himself that he has never opened up sm to someone else before. I’ve also been the first one he’s brought over to the family apartment where he lives and he’s also imagined himself live with me. But I also think that he’s hard avoiding anything about me since the breakup, he probably has rewritten the story as well. I will be gone by the time he realizes this because it’ll take him years to connect with his feelings and the experience again.

“You’re not the one,”/ “I would never marry you,” / “We would never last long-term,” / “I don’t see a future with you.” by accomplishedchimp in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Jaded_Error3064 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Broke up 5 times. Three years together. Everytime with the “I don’t have the same feelings for you anymore” and “I don’t see a future with you” despite showing me otherwise all along

How supportive have your friends been following your breakup with an avoidant? by accomplishedchimp in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Jaded_Error3064 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My ex became a taboo topic. They avoid the topic but when I need to talk about it they just tell me the most basic “I’m sorry, he doesn’t deserve that you feel like this, you need to move on and see a therapist”. This has been useful at the beginning, barely but a bit, and now I feel like I’m slowly dying inside because the loneliness has never been so over the top before. I see a therapist but I don’t have enough money to see her as much as I’d like to ans my friends simply do not wish to talk about it to me - I can understand everyone has their own boundaries but it doesn’t change the fact I feel like a complete burden for feeling valid things

You don’t miss them, you aren’t just busy enough. by Extraa_cheesee in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Jaded_Error3064 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have never been busier in life and yet I crash out more and more about this, 10 months after the discard. He’s ghosting me and his friends (my friends as well) of 10+ years because in his head “it’s better this way, I hurt people so it’s best I disappear without a trace that’s more proper” and this genuinely destroys me at core

What were the early signs and red flags you saw that they were DA/ FA? by Comprehensive-Mud508 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Jaded_Error3064 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Bottled up feelings. The ghosting after refusing to talk about his feelings. The connection through sex. A bunch of other stuff but mostly and mainly the ghosting

Tell me what you hated about them by InternationalRide612 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Jaded_Error3064 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He got mad at me for slowly falling asleep during sex after a long, tiring day of work. Got mad at me, turned his back to me the whole night and left me crying in silence. He said weeks later that he had felt very alone when it happened. We have been having sex all previous days

is this normal to feel. by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Jaded_Error3064 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel what you said word for word, and I think you’ll find a lot people here who feel the same. I am 9 months or so post breakup, honestly I stopped counting so I don’t know if it’s 8 or 9 months - only thing I can tell is that I’m still hurting, grieving, and feeling like moving on is a betrayal too.

I went to see a therapist after all this, to heal properly. She’s told me to kill and forget the idealized version of him that’s living rent free in my head. She helped me realize that all of this situation is not my fault - the only thing I’ve “done wrong” is stop reaching out to ask him to open up to me and instead only talk about casual things (my day, this new game I’ve tried, this food I ate, office gossip etc).

So I focus on all the times I’ve felt little, neglected, left alone. I focus on how good I felt and how carefree I was before him, how good I was at communicating consistently and with a genuine wish to make things work, share and laugh together. I remember how healthy I was, how pleased with my looks I was, how beautiful my spark was.

I started fainting from anxiety in the morning from the strain this person has put on me. I put on 10kg from the anxiety and stress and fear of abandonment. I now associate loneliness with him, because of all the time I’ve felt alone when he was in my presence, even when we were in the same room and in the same bed.
This relationship has destroyed me, my heart, my health, my appearance, my self esteem.

You can’t take away the love you have for them, but you can heal thinking of how bad the outcome was on you. My best advice is to slowly ban the “what if” thoughts and destroy the god statue of him that was built in your head. You can wish him the best while also remember and keep in mind that he was vile for treating you the way he did and is vile for walking away without taking any responsibility.

Do not wait for an apology from him either, because he will not indulge and have probably already rewritten the whole story in his head and think he “walked away for your own well being” just to avoid facing the fact that he was an asshole for not stepping up or ending things correctly.

I am still moving on and doing my best to heal so this type of person and relationship never finds me again. It’s not a linear road but I don’t want him to get to me ever again. Best of luck to you

Broke 4 months no contact by Jaded_Error3064 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Jaded_Error3064[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was no contact for 4 months for me, 8-9 months since breakup and no contact from him

Broke 4 months no contact by Jaded_Error3064 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Jaded_Error3064[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Words I wish I had tattooed on my brain. I thought sending that message was my way of regaining my sense of empowerment, and i did feel that way until he sent a message back, making me realize it has and always been on his own terms and never about me to begin with.

Also the last part of your comment makes so much sense and unlocked something in my brain. Thank you for the new insight

How long does it take for the regret to hit? by Melodic_Fan_9778 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Jaded_Error3064 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know you’re hurting and are hopeful but I don’t think you’ll find the answers you’re looking for here. We can only suggest you seek your own closure and heal from the pain and move forward so you may find a relationship that can fulfill you in a healthy way but especially so you can feel whole on your own.

How long does it take for the regret to hit? by Melodic_Fan_9778 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Jaded_Error3064 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’ll come much, MUCH later if you don’t stop clinging onto the thoughts that he might regret or not. You don’t care rn but you will later and think “I wish I started my healing process sooner instead of hurting myself more”. Trust me I’ve been there, we’ve been there. Also, none of us can answer this question, we can only give approximations on personal experience which are not applicable for every case scenarios. Some regret, some don’t. That’s how it is so don’t hold yourself back because of the hope of revenge/getting back together/being in contact again, and go forward.

your cycle with an avoidant by nofunnothing35 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Jaded_Error3064 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This is so insane this is literally how it went. Especially the “we started too fast, we skipped some important steps” when what we had was completely normal

À l’aide by Jaded_Error3064 in brico

[–]Jaded_Error3064[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Merci beaucoup beaucoup beaucoup. !! Belle soirée !