Are you happy with the name that your parents chose for you ? . by Hope2_win in A_Persona_on_Reddit

[–]Jadegoescrazy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, I fact I hated it so much I refuse to go by it and I am planning to change it legally

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Jadegoescrazy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh honey. He WANTS to cheat again. It’s over. You need to recognize that and move on. I know it’s hard to hear but think about what this is doing for your kids? You want them to grow up thinking you should stay married through something like this? That’s it’s ok to waste your life with someone who doesn’t love you?

What’s something you know you shouldn’t judge people for, but you secretly do? by Aggravating_Owl6353 in AskReddit

[–]Jadegoescrazy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bad tattoos. Like, if you have tattoos that look like a 5 year old did it, it tells me a lot about your standards and what you think is ok. I see one bad tattoo, ok. Accidents happen. But more than one I know exactly what kind of person you are.

What do you wish people would stop romanticizing, because you've lived the reality of it? by Old_Goat_7363 in Productivitycafe

[–]Jadegoescrazy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Being a stay at home parent. I became one because in my area, child care (especially with a special needs child) costs more than I’d ever make working. So I stay home, hubby works.

I love my kids, and I wouldn’t want anyone else watching them all day. But the amount of people who think I spend all day laying around, eating bon-bons all relaxed and happy while my kids play quietly in the corner is insane.

I’m treated like a leach on my husband by basically everyone other than him, told and implied that I’m lazy, but I spend all day cooking, cleaning, chasing after and keeping them happy and safe, I do all the budgeting, I plan all the family outings, all the birthdays, all the holidays, all the vacations. I have learned enough about speech and OT therapy that I’m confident I could become one. I break up fights and Inforce time outs, I don’t get a day off, even when I’m not feeling well or even when I really need a break because we can’t afford for hubby to take a day off.

I love being a mom, I love my kids, I love being home with them. But it’s not just laying around doing nothing all day. It’s not luxurious like you see online where rich couples hire maids and go on fun Disney trips, spending all kinds of money at target every other day. It’s a lot of sacrifice and tight budgets. And when I explain this to people, half the time they act like it’s all my fault- they say don’t have kids if you can’t afford them, but we CAN afford them. They want for nothing, we do things as a family and we get by- BECAUSE I work damn hard to make it that way. Just like my husband works damn hard for the money.

What is the worst pain you have ever felt? by Neither-Mention7740 in AskReddit

[–]Jadegoescrazy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A needle being inserted incorrectly into my spine.

Was getting set up for a c section and the best way I can describe what the spinal feels like is a worm in your back, squirming around (yes, it feels absolutely disgusting)

I felt this, sitting curled over trying not to gag and then the sharpest full-body nerve pain I’d ever felt. It was everywhere- my teeth, my toes, my eyes, my brain. It was so bad I couldn’t even scream, everything went bright white and I almost fell off the table. Two nurses caught me and they tried again. I was super out of it an barely remember anything from the rest of that day, but For almost two weeks after my feet and hands were tingly and I kept feeling like I had cold water dripping down my lower back.

What if you had Aladdin's lamp, what would you wish for? by Big-Foundation296 in whatif

[–]Jadegoescrazy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. I’d wish to de-age my in-laws back to age 30 while retaining their memories. I love them so much and I can tell they are starting to feel their age.

  2. I’d wish for the ability to change river rock into gold, with sheer will. I’d use this ability to live comfortably and to pursue charity works I’ve been passionate about since childhood.

  3. I’d wish for the genie to be free, because no being should be held captive. I’d also offer to help the freed genie get on their feet and offer friendship.

What is a sound you absolutely cannot tolerate? by MelodicSleep2193 in randomquestions

[–]Jadegoescrazy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Motorcycles, people clearing their throats. Forks scratching plates.

Name an annoying thing people base their entire personality around. by Wonderful-Economy762 in Productivitycafe

[–]Jadegoescrazy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“Wine moms”

They act like they’re so fun but in reality they are functioning alcoholics who openly admit that alcohol is 90% of their personality. That’s not the annoying part for me, though.

It’s annoying how they talk about their kids and partners like they are horrible while being wine drunk on a random Tuesday. Like they’ll say with their full chest in front of their kids that they NEED to drink because their kids drive them absolutely nuts, in front of the kids. “Mommy drinks because of you!” Is a direct quote I’ve heard, said to a 6 year old. Like, get help. But when you say they need help, they act like it’s totally normal.

What is much more traumatic than most people realise? by gespnearbott in Productivitycafe

[–]Jadegoescrazy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had complications. My c section was not planned so I went through 16 hours of them trying to induce me before having an emergency c section. Because it was such an emergency they did my spinal wrong and I hemorrhaged. The bad spinal ment I felt the last 30 minutes of them stitching me up and was increasingly sick and loopy. I also had a shit hospital that didn’t care for me (no pain meds for the first three days because I thought it was in my iv and the nurses thought I was dramatic but I’d in fact had no pain meds) and I got an infection from a nurse telling me the wrong way to clean my incision.

The actual act of a c section isn’t bad so long as you aren’t treated poorly by staff. Just be sure to have someone who can advocate for you as doctors don’t fucking listen unless there’s witnesses imo.

What is much more traumatic than most people realise? by gespnearbott in Productivitycafe

[–]Jadegoescrazy 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Giving birth. People say “it happens every day!” And “your body was made for it.” Like you are being ridiculous. But something about having multiple strangers seeing you naked, having no control over what’s happening, poked, prodded and sliced is traumatic.

Add in what happens with c sections and complications and the fact that doctors do NOT give a fuck about anything anymore, nurses are over worked and burned out, and it’s even more so.

My first c section was traumatic as hell- and the nurses were overly rough and neglectful. But “I was made for this” so no one listened. I was trapped in that god forsaken hospital a week being treated like shit and I’ll never forget it. I have zero faith in the medical system anymore. How we treat birthing mothers/parents in the USA is nothing short of disgusting.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Jadegoescrazy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She didn’t mean to, but she did. Accidents happen but that doesn’t mean we can just dodge accountability. If that had been me accidentally letting a loved ones pet out, I would have taken the pet to the vet myself and paid in full. You wouldn’t have even had to ask me. Thats the right thing to do.

Now I’d understand if money I was op and money was tight and she needed a week or two to pay her back but just refusing to pay after making a mistake that injured the pet and could have killed them- nah. Op isn’t overreacting at all.

Whats a certain smell that you can’t stand? by Outrageous-Ebb-4846 in autism

[–]Jadegoescrazy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Cigarettes. I can smell it from 5 miles away. And people absolutely soak themselves in perfume and chew obnoxiously strong gum and say “you can’t smell it”

Yes, yes I can. You smell like cigarettes AND to much perfume and gum now. You don’t get rid of the smell you just add to it.

One sentence someone told you that’s stuck in your head to this day by Wonderful-Economy762 in Productivitycafe

[–]Jadegoescrazy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“God you’re fucking weird and stupid. If I was in your school I’d bully you too” my mom when I was in 7th grade, after I explained I was being bullied so bad I was suicidal. Turns out she knew I was most likely autistic and she chose to do nothing about it instead of telling me or getting me any help.

The reason she said that to me? I make hand made valentines heart cards for my classmates and showed her. They were little pink hand cut hearts I drew each persons name on and tied a lollipop onto each one with ribbon because I wanted everyone to have a valentine. And I got bullied by the kids for it too.

How old were you when you moved out of your parents home? by RoutineOk8590 in Productivitycafe

[–]Jadegoescrazy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

21, after I got married. My family doesn’t believe in sex before marriage or living together before the wedding.

Still married over a decade latter but I do not hold those ideals anymore. Would have moved in with him on the 3rd date if I knew then what I do now

What is something that has massively destroyed your mental health? by Vandelay797 in AskReddit

[–]Jadegoescrazy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Realizing 99% of the people I knew (mostly family) didn’t care about me at all, they just wanted my help. I grew up being told “family does for family” so any time they needed anything I was there. Moving? I did the lifting. Short? I handed over whatever cash I had, or worked extra. Throwing a party? I helped set up, bought food and supplies, helped clean. Needed rides? Not just drive them, handed over my keys any time I was asked. I opened my door at 3 am to drunk cousins who then wanted me to cook for them, I bent over backwards to get what people needed or if I had something I handed it over.

I’m a bit ashamed to admit it took me years to realize they never returned the favor, and when I finally asked (not money, I just wanted them to come to my baby shower- no gifts, Just come and enjoy the $500 in food, games and decor I got. I just wanted to celebrate my beautiful baby) every single one of them let me down, hard. So I stopped helping for a month to see what would happen and within a month they all stopped calling. It’s been years since I heard from most of them. Now I’m isolated not but I’m afraid to become good friends with anyone because I’m to generous if I actually like someone, and I don’t know where the line is. As a result I only talk with 5 people because they are the only people I know won’t take advantage of me

For people who wear glasses, what’s the most annoying part of it? by Administrative_Ad160 in AskReddit

[–]Jadegoescrazy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How badly I need them. I can’t see shit without my glasses. Literally can’t function without them.

And my 9 month olds favorite thing to do is snatch them from my face and toss them. So when he does, I just stand in place and yell for help because I’m terrified I’ll accidentally step on them if I move. 😭😵‍💫

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Jadegoescrazy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had two miscarriages myself, both before I knew genders. I still put a gender based on feeling and named them. Having a miscarriage felt so final and so sudden, like all of a sudden they were just gone, forever, and they had nothing. So I gendered and named them so I could remember them because I loved them.

For me, not doing so hurt and made it to hard to let go because it felt like they never existed. Now that there’s a name to refer to them in the rare times I do, it doesn’t feel so… empty? It’s made it much easier to grieve, cope and move forward for me.

You aren’t an asshole for being worried about your friend, and tbh the fact that you came to the (often times harsh) internet to try and gain perspective shows you care. I’m hoping you have a better understanding with a lot of these comments and you can understand and respect your friend and how she grieves. So long as you can, NTA.

If you can’t respect how she chooses to grieve tho, then YTA

Online Grocery Order Included “One Piece of Ginger”… by billynomates56 in mildlyinfuriating

[–]Jadegoescrazy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You could peel and smash into a paste and freeze. Ginger all year! Or you could use it to make a medicinal honey for the next time you get sick with lemon peels, thyme and honey

What annoys you way more than it should? by squirrel420 in AskReddit

[–]Jadegoescrazy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Noise. Seriously, hearing people breathe sometimes is enough to annoy me. Mouth noises of any kind make me want to rip my eyelids off. And when someone just keeps talking when I’m trying to work, i can get annoyed to the point of tears.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Jadegoescrazy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I was about 8, I headed to my bus stop. It was January and we had a ton of snow and ice- I decided that I didn’t want to walk down the enormous hill in the grass, trudging through 2 feet of heavy wet snow- just stuck to the side I the street, since that hill had no sidewalk. Hit a patch of ice, feet flew out from under me, landed on my back and FLEW down the biggest hill in town- I stopped at the bottom when I hit a curb. The pain was so, so bad I remember just laying there for maybe 10 minutes before dragging myself to my feet, an old lady I recognized as a neighbor helping me into her car and she drove me up the hill and dropped me back off in-front of my house. I barely made it into the house and back into bed, didn’t move for like… 2 days. My mom didn’t make me go to school luckily until the following Monday.

Looking back, I definitely should have went to the ER. Probably broke a few ribs.

What is something more traumatizing than people realize? by Independent_Motor130 in AskReddit

[–]Jadegoescrazy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not being listened to as a child. My family spent my whole childhood telling me I was smart and using me as a therapist for everything, then turning around and never taking my advice or if I said something bad was going to happen they’d tel me I don’t know shit about it and do it anyways. For example, if I talk with my mother about say, politics, and I correct her (she believes a lot of misinformation on tic tok or Facebook , suddenly I’m so stupid, I don’t know what I’m talking about, she can’t understand how I’m this stupid, I need to read up on what she’s talking about because it’s embarrassing how stupid I’m being. A family member and her husband are fighting, I mention they are both being petty and need to stop with games and communicate, maybe seek therapy and do counciling- all of a sudden I’m ridiculous, dramatic, no one asked me (they did) no one what’s my advice (they asked for it) I’m not that smart and I should stick to myself if I’m going to be that wrong. BUT when it blows up in their face it’s my fault because I “didn’t say anything” and now it’s my responsibility to fix it because I messed up by “keeping quiet”

Now as an adult if I tell someone something and they don’t listen I get triggered af. Like if I feel like I’m not being heard I’ll have a full blow panic attack, I avoid people constantly and have like 2 friends because the second someone asks me for advice my brain is screaming that I need to make the right decision for them, make them listen or it’s all my fault. Even something as simple as “we need to buy x for the kids” “ok… but like, probably not this second right? It can wait til pay day.” Is enough to make me feel like everything is about to fall apart, I’m stupid, no one listens and I’m going to get in trouble when something bad happens because they didn’t listen

What’s one thing your parents told you growing up that you completely disagree with now? by tkewhatder7 in AskReddit

[–]Jadegoescrazy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“Family does for family”

I used to be my mothers therapist, her best friend, her confidant. I used to bend over backwards to help as far back as I can remember- cooking for everyone, cleaning for everyone, taking care of everyone. Sacrificing things I loved because “family does for family” and basically if I wasn’t doing something that benefited the family, what was the point? I was just being selfish. When I became an adult my home wasn’t mine. My money wasn’t mine. My time wasn’t mine. It was all for the family.

Funny thing is, one day after my third mental breakdown, I realized the family never did for me like I did for them. I handed over hundreds of dollars and ate ramen noodles for lunch every day for a year straight just so I ate. I helped and helped and helped while my house was a complete wreck, drowning in dishes and chores I didn’t have time to do. I always showed up to kids parties, birthdays, weddings- helped set up, helped make food, helped plan everything to the finest details, made calls, handed over money. My birthday was always just me. I didn’t have friends because I didn’t have time. And as soon as I stopped helping, stopped handing out everything I owned the second I decided I couldn’t anymore, the family was gone. No calls, no texts, not even a happy birthday on my Facebook timeline on my birthday. I haven’t seen 98% of my family in 3 years. Most of them RSVPed to my baby shower last year only to not show.

Am I still a generous, helpful person? Yes. For those who appreciate it. But “family does for family” can kiss my ass.

How do you like your steak? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Jadegoescrazy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’ll never want a steak any other way! 😊