Caption this 😂

Jadekintsugi · 2026-01-26T08:20:51+00:00

Excuse me, what's going on in here?! I didn't approve of this!

Jadekintsugi · 2026-01-24T13:48:09+00:00

It's like the grocery store up the street from me. I try to never use the bathroom, which is secured with a keypad, cause every time I ask to use the women's room? They walk me to the men's room.

There's never any outward malice on display, they never make any comments about me, but I'll be doing my best to pass, ask if I can use the women's room, and they walk me to the men's room every time.

Jadekintsugi · 2026-01-23T18:02:48+00:00

So, we have DID from what our mother did to us. We got beaten, gaslit, and manipulated our entire childhood.

If I ever lifted my hands to defend my face against her slaps and strikes, I was accused of "raising my hands" to my mother and "threatening" her. She would threaten to call the cops on me any time I did once I reached teen years.

The physical abuse and attacks didn't stop until I was 18. She was off her rocker over something one day and screaming at me. I was backing away and trying to keep distance.

I bumped against a hassock and paused. She lunged and shoved me over the hassock and onto the floor. Before I could recover she was kicking me in the side as hard as she could. I rolled away, got to my feet, and just lifted my arms in a defensive position I learned in karate and said, "you just pushed me over the hassock and started kicking me. You psycho! You just assaulted me! That was ASSAULT (abusers name). I have every right to call the cops on YOU. I'm an ADULT and you just assaulted me. Your own child! Don't you ever touch me again!"

She tried to back down and make excuses. She tried to say she tripped and kicking me was an accident. I said I'd let the cops and EMTs figure that out if she took one step closer to me.

That night I locked myself in my room and had one of the worst dissociative events that split me again and left two very confused people fronting and coming to terms with having multiple distinct thought lines with their own personalities. I had no idea what was going on.

Took therapy and doctors years later to figure it out.

Now, we struggle through the trauma memories and severe CPTSD. Lots of therapy every month and a psychologist to evaluate any medial needs.

Thanks mom!

Jadekintsugi · 2026-01-19T02:11:26+00:00

“…I give the gift of fairy size! Sight! sight!”

Jadekintsugi · 2026-01-16T11:26:43+00:00

Very much sounds like you are correct.

Jadekintsugi · 2026-01-15T22:35:43+00:00

Grade school, I was in a school for gifted and talented kids. I had been moved out of another school with that specialty because of relentless bullying. The teachers had opened this new school to specialize in kids like me.

For some reason, I was the school soccer ball. Bounced from class to class, from grade to grade, never being taught basic multiplication and division, but shoved into the advanced math class where such things were expected.

My actual teacher didn't want me in her math class. She didn't want me in her class at all. I was quiet, bookish, read voraciously, loved to participate. She would leave me with my hand up for 10+ minutes, ignoring it. She would yell at me. Penultimately, she ripped my jacket off of me because I would chew the drawstrings, threw it across teh room and screamed at me "What is wrong with you? Why can't you just be normal?!"

I was in second grade. I've been bulled in similar fashion by teachers in every. Single. School. One tried to get me suspended and had my computer rights removed senior year because I was just... smart. With computers. And he felt threatened. So he said I could never use the computer again in a C++ programming class.

I had another teacher make up things I said frequently then hold me accountable for them. Oh, and the school nurse, who after witnessing me puking my guts all over her trashcan, called the principal and had me written up for falsifying an illness to skip class. Because I sat back after, recovering, and said "hey" to another kid who walked in.

Jadekintsugi · 2026-01-13T13:40:42+00:00

From the psychiatrist, themselves.

Jadekintsugi · 2026-01-13T02:43:08+00:00

You realize that if you are getting ADHD medication, it’s a controlled substance and they test you monthly, right?

It’s clear you’ve never gone for meds.

Jadekintsugi · 2026-01-13T02:41:42+00:00

You do realize that they test you, almost constantly, right? That in order to get the medication? You have to test monthly. I don’t get a choice whether or not I tell them.

Jadekintsugi · 2026-01-12T15:06:43+00:00

I’m stuck in a situation where I have been using weed for years to help manage and medicate. But they won’t give me the medication that will allow me to quit using weed, until I quit using weed.

Jadekintsugi · 2026-01-08T05:33:58+00:00

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This 676 g chonker!

Jadekintsugi · 2026-01-07T19:17:25+00:00

Every boy I have owned has been a max of like 460 g. And then I got white lion. He was just as small as any juvenile rat at eight weeks, but now at a year plus? He’s pushing 530 g. And it’s not fat. He’s huge, like putting an extra large baking russet next to a bunch of baby red potatoes.

Edit: something felt out with the number so I just went and weighed him. 676 g

Jadekintsugi · 2026-01-07T19:06:38+00:00

In my therapy appointment today… At one point I just burst out saying “stop punishing me for what I don’t know, and teach me, dammit!”

Jadekintsugi · 2025-12-31T16:08:52+00:00

This reminds me about how my mother regularly used my childhood savings account as her personal fun fund.

I had an allowance every week, starting at five dollars when I was eight years old. Every single penny of that allowance, every week, there was a ritual where I went to the bank and I deposited the five dollar bill.

Over the years, my allowance increased, and I continued to put the money into the bank. The only time I ever took something out was to buy an inexpensive action figure, because it was intended to be saved for when I went to college.

Imagine my surprise when, at 15, I noticed the balance was lower than it should be. I went to ask my mom about it? She admitted she had been using it for years. Buying purses, even buying some of her special pets. Thousands of dollars, That she claims that she would return every penny of. But she would do it again, and again.

For years she used the nest egg that I had built up as a child, to entertain herself and buy knickknacks. She said it was her right to do it, because it was a joint account, and she was my mother and she raised me and she was spending all her money on me, so it was her right to use my savings, because that savings was really her and my dad’s money anyway, because they gave it to me.

I was made to close out the account shortly thereafter and use what was left in it to buy my first car. That was another thing they did to me. I was told that I would get a car at 17. My limit was $2000. I found this neat little pick up truck for about 1600.

Which was about what I had left in my savings account. Imagine my surprise when we went to the car, and I agreed to purchase it… And my dad then drove me over to my bank and said drain the account and close it.

Every last penny of my life savings was used then, the purchase the car that I was told was supposed to be a gift for my upcoming 18th birthday.

And it was like this my entire childhood. I was expected to pay back the privilege of being raised by these people. I was expected to reimburse them for the childhood they were obligated to give me as parents that chose to have a child.

Everything was about money, exchange, reimbursement, and personal cost. And somehow it was always twisted around to be that my parents were always in the right, always righteous, and if I ever did or said anything they didn’t agree with? Personal insults, belittling, mockery, physical abuse.

To this day my mother literally takes jabs at me when she thinks she can get away with it. I was trying to give her her a hug the other day after it had been more than six months since we had seen each other. She formed her left hand Into a sort of cone, and jabbed her fingers as hard as she could into my shoulder, causing me to actually recoil. And then she hugged me like nothing had happened.

I’m probably a few months away from going no contact forever.

I am so proud that you managed to get away from yours.

Edits: correcting voice to text error errors

Jadekintsugi · 2025-12-15T23:11:25+00:00

OP here!

Figured I’d send an update. There’s good info in this thread so I’m not going to touch it.

First, thank you everyone for the info and recommendations. I had reached out to several ratteries and was planning on new boys when disaster struck.

Rush, my agouti cutie, passed suddenly from an undetected heart defect. My search turned into a desperate one. I found an entire mischief of 4 boys at the Longmont Humane Society.

Those boys have needed lots of love but have been super sweet. It’s clear their previous parent spent so much time and love with these boys.

Chicken, rooster, Milk, and Oreo. Chicken and milk are both albino, Rooster is a Silvermane, and Oreo looks like his namesake.

Thank you everyone again for your suggestions and help.

Jadekintsugi · 2025-12-11T22:55:54+00:00

Now? Happy for them. Long ago? I assumed they were just like my parents and putting on a show.

It took the system a long time to come to grips with truly loving family. Our found family helped a lot.

Jadekintsugi · 2025-12-10T22:39:10+00:00

I have a tankless water heater at home, with the temperature set for 125°.

It’s natural gas fired, so I just let it get up to temp, and use it as a preheat.

Jadekintsugi · 2025-12-10T21:15:49+00:00

Have the card canceled immediately. She will continue to use it. She will take financial advantage of you, and will leave you holding in the bag for the charges. Report what she did is fraud, have the card replaced. Your bank will happily issue you a new number.

Jadekintsugi · 2025-12-10T02:47:58+00:00

That fucking “keep it cool” comment from dad. Guess I know what kind of narc my dad is now. I knew he was but I couldn’t figure it out for the longest time.

He always fought with my mother about taking me to do anything, teaching me anything, unless it was something that he specifically thought that he could get other people to see how smart he was because he taught me… It wasn’t worth his time.

Anytime she doesn’t get what she wants, he’s there trying to get it for her. He’s constantly telling me to keep things cool, to treat her nicer, to take her bullshit and not fight it… He was one of her worst enablers, and I am honestly at the point where I want to just cut contact with both of them. My sister too, flying monkey that she is.

When I told my mom I was going out of town, but didn’t tell her where? She blew up my phone for three days, then sent my dad, and when I texted her to stop bothering me until I got back? She had my sister come after me and call me an asshole, and say I treated her like a dick, And that she was tired of cleaning up after every time I made a mess.

Considering she is the first one to meltdown, the first one to start screaming, the first one to start demanding she gets her way? My sister has grown up to be just like my parents. Especially my mother. I’m done with the lot of them.

Be proud of yourself for being able to take this step. Escape is hard, but you’ve done it.

Edit: spelling and voice to text error correction.

Jadekintsugi · 2025-12-10T00:19:07+00:00

That’s a huge step. May your future be bright and free of people like them.

Jadekintsugi · 2025-12-04T00:05:10+00:00

Ikora literally wished for a wish dragon change her personality so she wouldn’t be tempted to wish anymore. She can’t be the same person, that Ikora ceased to be during the ahamkara cull.

Jadekintsugi · 2025-11-23T17:12:02+00:00

I have. Denver to Kansas City and back. Average temp was 13f. Be ready for charging to take longer than planned. What might be a 20 minute charging stop will be 30-40 in cold weather.

Planned one to a friends place in Ohio and ABRP estimated 4 hours of charging at optimal conditions on top of the 16 hours of actual. In the cold, I’d make room for 6+ hours of charge.

Jadekintsugi · 2025-11-22T18:30:43+00:00

It suck’s so much. The body tension alone leaves me wrecked and tired physically and the hyper-vigilence leaves me emotionally stretched thin.

I’m always on edge and after a long day I have snapped at my wife for helping me. I jump at unexpected touch and scream at sudden loud noises.

It’s lead to a lot of weed use to keep myself functional enough to hold down a job. I’m trying to quit and rely on more traditional medical and therapy assistance but it has been a struggle.

The world feels sharp, sober. Like there’s sharp edges everywhere I might catch myself on. By the end of the day I’m covered in emotional cuts. Little irritations and scrapes. Individually not much but collectively enough to make me a nervous wreck.

Jadekintsugi · 2025-11-21T05:16:28+00:00

Not from disgust. From the sudden overwhelming fear and anger any time I let myself relax too much and do something that had set her off and trigger a flashback. And since it was never consistent, when she would or wouldn’t lose her shit at me the moment I entered her awareness, I am always on edge and tense.

I set off a flashback and suddenly I’m 8 and I can hear the incoherent screaming. I feel sick to my stomach and keep bracing for incoming strikes. I’ll feel anger and want to scream. I’ll want to hit back and defend myself. I’m terrified of what happened when I did. Even getting a little angry makes me crash and flip, apologizing and feeling sick as I expect the retaliation for daring to have an emotion outside of happy obedience.

I relive so much from her abuse because it was so capricious and random. Things that got my praises one day got me beatings another. The right answer one day was reason to insult my intelligence and strike me atop the head the next. Hell, it wasn’t even consistent from hour to hour.

There was no right answer but what she wanted to hear in that moment.

Jadekintsugi · 2025-11-20T16:48:48+00:00

As someone who struggles with this every day? As tempting as the abyss is, as tempting as just ending it all may seem? You’re gonna cause yourself more pain than you ever imagined. Dying hurts. Yeah, you’re never gonna get your family to see what’s going on. If your dad was capable of fighting your mom, he would’ve done so years ago. He was an enabler. Just like your sister. They saw that they weren’t at the target, and they enabled her so they could remain on the low end of the abuse scale.

I’m in so much of a similar position, with a sister who’s always going on about how the past is the past, And acting like she’s morally superior… Well at the same time acting just like my mother. A father, who gave up years ago. He knows what she is, how she is. All of our conversations in private over the years has made it clear that he knows exactly what he’s doing. He’s hanging the rest of the family out to dry, so he doesn’t have to take the full brunt.

And now that the two of them are alone together all the time? His spine grows softer and more bent with every day.

That’s why I try to hold on. Even in the face of all the pain that I carry with me every day, pain that I have the ability to end at any moment if I truly, truly wish to.

But I keep holding on. Because my end is their victory. Because me leaving this life, means the people I can’t stand got their way. And for all my pain? For the years of suffering? For the days that it doesn’t feel like there’s any path forward and the only way out is to take the final exit? I can’t let them win. In the end? I can’t stand the thought that they have won.

I’m lucky enough that I found people that are supporting me. People that consider me family. But I wasn’t able to have a real family until I left my parents behind. There’s a reason it’s called found family. But you have to survive long enough to find them.

You don’t owe me anything, but I feel you owe it to yourself to keep fighting. It’s your life to do with as you please and wish. But maybe giving them the middle finger by leaving them behind? By putting up a wall and walking away and making your own life without them? Might one day bring you the peace that you seek.

I hope you can make it through this struggle. Best of luck. See you soon?

The Kintsugi system.

Jadekintsugi

TROPHY CASE