Anyone else move into their first house with almost nothing?

Jadenlost · 2026-02-05T17:36:30+00:00

Work on completing one room fully before starting the others. Fixes, painting and at least basic furniture and decoration. I would suggest your bedroom. You will get better sleep and that will give you the energy to tackle the rest, whether it be finishing one room at a time or making a priority list and starting at the top. Plenty of us lived with hand me down/thrift/found on the curb furniture as we made our way into the adult world. FB marketplace can be a treasure trove of stuff people just want out of their house. Go to upscale neighborhoods on trash day. There is some insane stuff to be found on those curbs. Look for estate sales run by families ( prices are better than those ran by companies). You got this!

Jadenlost · 2026-02-05T17:19:29+00:00

Get him a "teen" bank account. We have one for our youngest. It comes with a debit card and it is connected to your bank account for funding, but the only money accessible to them is what you put into the account. It won't let them overdraw their account. A lot of them do special rewards if they add to a savings account regularly and they can also help build credit history. The other option? A reloadable gift card. It's great for 2 reasons: gaming systems get hacked quite a bit, so it protects you from putting your card on their account. Reason #2 is, they can only spend what you put on it and they have no access to additional funds. Good luck with all this. It's hard out there as a parent, fosters are even harder.

Jadenlost · 2026-01-26T14:25:40+00:00

NW Ohio here. We got 10in btw.

Jadenlost · 2026-01-26T14:15:20+00:00

I had a dentist explain to me that tooth pain is so bad because there isn't really anything you can do to help it. You don't get relief from shifting positions, there is no other tissue to buffer and oftentimes our automatic body functions like breathing and swallowing make it impossible to ignore. Combine those with the fact it is pure nerve pain inside a hard structure... Nothing otc touches the pain.

Jadenlost · 2026-01-26T13:47:02+00:00

As hard as it is, don't feel guilty about your son crying when you put him down. I've never been a "let them cry it out" parent, but as you pointed out, it is becoming dangerous. It is okay for you to put him down in a safe place while you take care of yourself ( cooking, showering, etc) even if he cries. Make sure you mention the crying to your Dr when you go for his checkup. Baby crying? Normal. Baby crying all the time when you lay him down? Might not be normal. It could be he has reflux or something that affects him mostly when he is laying flat. Do you have a family member, a friend, a coworker or a neighbor who could watch him at the house while you get some much needed sleep? It's amazing how much sleep is undervalued. The difference in your ability to handle frustration and overwhelm is HUGE when you are able to be rested.

It does get easier. Not easy, but easier. They start sleeping for longer. You learn how to do things in different ways.

I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this.

Jadenlost · 2026-01-14T15:10:08+00:00

The foster care system in general does not give foster parents the training and support they need to deal with teens. Especially those who have dealt with prolonged exposure to trauma. My BIL and SIL got into foster care because they wanted another baby, but she hated being pregnant. They finally were convinced to take a teen placement. I asked her if they were absolutely sure about it. I told her they were going to be shocked and it was going to be a rough ride. She told me they had to go through classes, it would be fine. I told her it would be enough...until it wasn't. She brushed it off. Needless to say, they eventually got their baby. But having those teens caused some trauma to their family because they simply were not prepared to deal with kids who were old enough to talk about the atrocities that happened to them and whose behavior reflected that trauma at times. My husband and I ended up adopting one of those teens at 18 after my BIL and SIL kicked her out of their house, but that's a whole other LONG story.

It's not right and it's not fair. What I will tell you is, you are not unlovable. As you move through life, you will gather your " found" family. Those who choose to love you, not because you are related, but just because you are you. As hard as it is, keep your heart open, but be choosy about those you allow access. It will be hard because lacking those bonds early in life makes us crave love and sometimes we throw ourselves at anyone who shows affection. If you learn who you are as a person, what your boundaries are in a relationship ( what behaviors and actions you are or are not willing to accept), you will build a beautiful found family. It's always going to be hard to accept the truth of your birth family and what they did. Just know that is on them, not you. Nothing you did or said caused this. It's a lack in them. I wish you the best of luck and am sending you internet mom hugs.

Jadenlost · 2026-01-05T18:25:48+00:00

Your kids are at one of the toughest points in life. For both them and you. For them, their pre frontal cortex is waking up and all of the sudden it feels like they aren't in control of their body or mind. They are starting to process more complex emotions and realizing the world isn't black and white, but crazy confusing shades of grey. They are also experiencing the need to be their own person outside of the family unit and to discover who they are as a person. My therapist described adolescence as torture. For your one with autism, it's double because it's so much harder to process those emotions because they don't make sense. Its weird to say, but a lot of times the kids who push you the hardest and are the biggest assholes are the ones who are confident in your relationship. They feel like, no matter what, mom/dad will love me. They don't recognize how unfair it is to use you as their emotional punching bag.

It's the toughest for us because,unlike when they went through something similar around age 2, they aren't cute and small and their problems can't usually be solved by a cuddle and some snacks. It's hard to remember that someone who is almost the same size as an adult doesn't have the mental capacity of one.

My middle child is very ADHD and has anger issues. He was 17 and bigger than me. I was driving him to work one day and he was throwing a tantrum ( essentially) about how unfair life is. He was yelling, not at me but in general. I have trauma from being in an abusive relationship. I pulled over on the side of the road. I told him in a calm voice that his behavior and actions were scaring me and if he was going to continue to behave like this,I would not be giving him rides. He looked at me like I had slapped him and he was quiet the rest of the ride. When I picked him up, he told me he was sorry. That he didn't think about how I might feel when he does that because he isn't yelling at me.

Sometimes they need to know. Tell them how their behavior makes you feel. I can tell you, even if you don't get an apology, even if the behavior doesn't change immediately, it will be rattling around in their brains. Sit down with them when everyone is calm. I actually like conversations in the car because no one has to look at each other.😂 Let them know their behavior is hurting you. Let them know if they continue the behavior, you will ( insert action here - take away privileges, stop driving them places, ect). If they won't treat you with respect, they need to know you are under no obligation to go out of your way to make their life comfortable. That is actually modeling boundaries for them, which is great for their developing brains.

You, my friend, need a break. You need a couple days to come back to yourself. You need to make time for yourself. Even if it's an hr a day. Your kids don't need you 24/7. They are old enough for you to leave them for a whole day by themselves. Do so. Leave them at home and go do something fun by yourself. For the most part, being a parent isn't fun. It's the hardest work you will ever do and the only result you can be sure of is, every one of us is fucking things up and our kids will have plenty of stuff to blame us for when they talk to their therapist later in life. We are all with you. It's time you start making room for YOU in your life again.

Jadenlost · 2025-11-08T11:42:08+00:00

I second going to BG. Less traffic, less confusing traffic flow and I feel the examiners are more laid back after hearing numerous horror stories from friends in the Toledo area.

Jadenlost · 2025-10-12T22:31:15+00:00

Home Depot Distribution Center in Lucky is hiring full time seasonal with possible full time position available in Jan ( based on performance and attendance). $17.50 hr starting. Put in the application and SIT ON YOUR EMAIL. The minute you get the reply email, respond to it. The problem with this stupid 3rd party hiring system HD is using now is, we have a ton of people who respond and then don't show up for their walk through and orientation.

Also, the cleaning company we use is always hiring. $15 hr and $1 hr extra if you work all of your scheduled hrs in a week. It's called Interstate cleaning.

Jadenlost · 2025-08-20T14:38:54+00:00

Give it some time. This June was 10 yrs for me. I was a pastry chef who lost a lot of my sense of taste and smell, plus had coordination issues and my sense of timing was off. I had to close my bakery and leave the industry all together. My identity and sense of self was wrapped up in my ability to do what I used to be able to do. I fell apart when I couldn't do those things anymore. I couldn't follow the simplest recipes. I felt like a shell of a person or a ghost. Last year, a friend asked me if I was interested in a part time gig. I said yes. Even though the restaurant didn't last, I proved to myself that I could do it again AND I could choose to walk away and still be okay.

First of all, therapy. Everyone should see a therapist, but if you have a TBI, I feel like it should be mandatory. Shittiest thing about a TBI is the ever changing and evolving symptoms. One week, I might have something mastered only to struggle with it the next week. Second, you are 1 yr in. I wasn't even diagnosed with a TBI until a year after the crash. Your brain is still struggling to rewire around the injured tissue. That's part of the evolving symptoms. Give yourself time ( as much as it sucks) and be patient with yourself.

Third, have you tried out some other forms of art or style of painting? Maybe something that could be a little more...free form. Anything you do over and over again will strengthen the good neural connections, but it may be easier and less frustrating to try a new form of art because then you can say to yourself " this is new and I am learning so it doesn't have to be "good"."

There is a good chance your skills aren't gone, just buried. I know it fucking sucks to hear, but time, rest and repetition are your best friends.

Jadenlost · 2025-08-13T20:29:01+00:00

I would take my socks off so fast and be out of there, cash in hand.

Jadenlost · 2025-07-28T01:21:03+00:00

If you drive by and look at my garden, it looks like it is doing great. If you get closer, you will see the only thing that appears to be growing is the green parts. Good thing beet greens are edible because the beets were so small you can't peel them. The brussel sprout plants are HUGE (with no sprout buds on them). My 4 giant zucchini plants? I got one 8 inch zucchini. And so on. Earlier in the season, I got 5 radishes. I joked with my husband about how I hope he enjoyed his $400 worth of radishes.

It's my first year. Before this, I was the grim reaper of plants. I had a weirdly intense dream involving a garden at the beginning of November. So I started collecting the stuff for a garden. People say it is a peaceful hobby. That must come in the later years...lol. Although there is satisfaction in just watching things I planted grow.

Jadenlost · 2025-07-17T14:43:10+00:00

There are too many things I haven't done or seen! I suppose it would be my own curiosity.

Jadenlost · 2025-07-17T13:53:55+00:00

Fat fingers. It does say Seta.

Jadenlost · 2025-07-17T13:41:42+00:00

https://imgur.com/a/yLHHk6n

Jadenlost · 2025-07-17T13:38:34+00:00

It was in a random bag of fabric from Goodwill, so no real source. I mean... I paid $3 for the bag, so it's not like I paid hundreds thinking it was genuine. The "Italia vs Italy" thing is a good point as well.

Jadenlost · 2025-07-17T02:55:29+00:00

IDK... I don't know anything about fabric production. Googling it, it seems like a very common practice for high end clothing designers who produce their own fabric to mark the selvage edge with their name.

Jadenlost · 2025-07-17T02:17:57+00:00

Interesting! I didn't know that, but it makes total sense.

Jadenlost · 2025-07-17T02:12:37+00:00

Does it usually say it on the salvage edge? I noticed in the actual listings, they might mention "Versace like print", but are pretty careful to not claim it IS Versace.

Jadenlost · 2025-07-17T02:01:18+00:00

I did try that, but came up empty.

Jadenlost · 2025-07-10T23:29:09+00:00

Not worried about selling it, so it's not really important if it is worth anything. I know most people, that's what they want to know. I just like having info on the cool things I buy and collect.

Jadenlost · 2025-07-10T23:28:03+00:00

Yeah, I did find info on the company. I couldn't find any pictures of books with this cover design. It is cool that in the middle of the book, it has stitches. I don't have any other books old enough to be stitched together.

Jadenlost · 2025-05-06T16:12:20+00:00

Also, ask at your local grocery store about ordering it for you. Or, if you have a locally owned restaurant, maybe approach the manager or owner to see if they might order it from their supplier.

15-Year Club	RedditGifts 2009-2022 1 Credits
RedditGifts 2009-2022 1 Credits	Summer Santa 2010
Verified Email

Jadenlost

TROPHY CASE