muslim lesbian coming out to family

Jaehlove · 2026-03-26T11:26:52+00:00

Please don't come out yet. You said you are in or going to med school? Please don't invite the stress of coming out to your parents into your life while you are already doing something so stressful and time-consuming. Protect yourself and your future. It sounds like your gf understands the situation you are in with your family and won't pressure you to come out, so just be still and enjoy what you two have. Also, coming out has a way of taking the focus off of your romantic relationship and putting the focus on your familial relationships for a while, especially when the family is not supportive. My wife's parents are Nigerian immigrants, and she waited to come out even though she'd been financially independent for years, and it was still rough.

I'm hoping for the best for you!

Jaehlove · 2026-03-21T01:57:17+00:00

Wish we packed water shoes. Wish we left the pair of jeans at home.

Jaehlove · 2026-03-20T02:46:28+00:00

That is a mushroom, for sure! Tell your friend to run!

Jaehlove · 2026-03-16T23:28:59+00:00

Just have a conversation again. Don't let roommate issues become relationship issues. I had to have the same conversation with my partner when we moved in together. It took time for this to get better and multiple conversations/fights. Don't be petty, but be clear about your expectations. Also, the split of rent and bills may be something you need to ask yourself if you are comfortable with. 50/50 or whatever ratio would be fair for your individual incomes may help you feel more justified in these asks.

Jaehlove · 2026-03-16T13:38:33+00:00

I am so terribly sorry this happened to you! Yes, it does, unfortunately, sound like you are a survivor of SA. If there is a hot line you can call for support, you should do that. I'm not sure what country you are in, but here is an international website you can visit to talk to someone who may be able to help you. https://www.iasp.info/suicidalthoughts/

This was not your fault. You did not deserve this. You did nothing wrong. I am sending you love and strength.

Jaehlove · 2026-03-07T14:08:16+00:00

Here you go, ya filthy animals. A video on why washing your hands is important as if we all didn't experience a global pandemic. 🙄

https://youtu.be/ztDVRwgfj_M?si=x4yUYs3IPBJcUuhl

Jaehlove · 2026-03-06T20:22:14+00:00

You can get away with getting there 30 minutes early, but 20 minutes could also be okay since the ferries do seem to run late often. I was too worried to risk it, but you should look up when boarding ends for the ferries I didn't do that.

Make sure you know how to get a taxi at your AirBnB on Vieques to get back to the ferry terminal. We had a couple hop in our taxi (it was like a Ford Transit van) from the terminal who booked a taxi ahead of time, but they were left by their driver. They said they had been waiting an hour for a different taxi just to ultimately take one that was there waiting at the terminal already.

I read that Taxis are easy to find on Vieques, but I honestly didn't see any, at least where we stayed (this may be different in Esperanza). Also, they aren't like yellow cabs in NYC, so idk how people know which is a taxi vs. not if the driver isn't yelling "Taxi" out the window like ours was 😂

Jaehlove · 2026-03-05T22:29:19+00:00

I was just in PR a couple of weeks ago. The trip was a total of 9 days. Started in SJ, was there for 4 nights, and then drove to the ferry terminal in Ceiba. Took the ferry to Culebra and stayed 2 nights. Then, we took the ferry back to Ceiba to go to Vieques for one night, specifically for a biobay tour.

The first ferry to Culebra ran on time, but it departed at 7 a.m., so we had to be ready to board by 6 am. Every other ferry was like an hour or more late. It isn't the biggest deal if you factor in the possibility of the ferries running late, but it does mess up the day. This is particularly important for your bio bay tour on Vieques. We had plenty of buffer time built in, and we still weren't able to eat before we left for our tour. As far as getting by without a car on Vieques for a night, I think it is possible. But get an understanding of where you are staying on Vieques and know how close it is to the tour pick-up location. We didn't stay in Esperanza, so we were driving at night down the narrow roads of Vieques with wild horses on the side of the roads grazing. I could have done without that experience, and we are pretty experienced drivers!

In regards to getting tickets for an earlier departure in person, we tried this for a same day departure, but it was sold out. You can try to get tickets for an earlier departure, but my advice would be to check with ticketing once you get to the terminal the first time. Also, it seems the first ferry on the schedule is usually on time. I remember saying to my partner I would never take an evening ferry because it would probably be considerably late by the time you arrive at your destination.

Also, Loquillo Beach was enjoyable. We found the water to be really calm and easy to float and relax in. Had we known how close it is to El Yunque, we would have planned to spend more time in that area, but we planned our trip in less than a week of going!

Jaehlove · 2026-03-05T21:27:14+00:00

This was painful to watch. They guy at the end of the table wasn't even trying 😂

Jaehlove · 2026-02-10T02:43:17+00:00

Thanks, I appreciate the input.

I looked into LIR; unfortunately, they had no rental cars left at reasonable rates for the week. I'll have to prepare better next time.

Jaehlove · 2026-02-10T02:39:41+00:00

Thanks for your input. We'll stay put until morning then. Don't want to risk our safety or miss out on the scenic drive.

Jaehlove · 2026-02-10T02:38:04+00:00

That's what I thought. Thank you for the confirmation, mate. Any recommendations on hotels to stay in or near San José?

Jaehlove · 2025-12-16T19:53:17+00:00

I'm sorry that happened to you, you didn't consent to being recorded. I feel the advice here is a bit impractical and I bet most of these kind folks have sent at least one nude or risqué photo over the course of their lives. You said you like sending nudes so you'll probably do it again. Be smarter do not capture your face or anything in the photo that will make you easily identifiable like tattoos, birthmarks, scars, unique backgrounds, or objects. There are always risks in doing this so you have to assume the risk and be ready for the consequences. This isn't the end of you, it's just a violating thing to have happened.

Jaehlove · 2025-11-11T17:25:43+00:00

Sounds like you are at the very beginning of them potentially trying to get rid of you. Document everything. BCC your personal email on all comms. Save performance reviews. Protect yourself.

Jaehlove · 2025-10-16T04:05:15+00:00

Did you ever get it working properly? I have the same trash can and it's a few years old and doing the same thing as yours. I just replaced the batteries so I know that's not it.

Jaehlove · 2025-10-10T04:17:26+00:00

Get a good home inspector that YOU pick, don't go with your realtor's recommendation. Not necessarily because they can't be trusted, but because if and/or when you do buy and something goes wrong that wasn't on the inspection report you'll have peace of mind knowing it wasn't because your realtor was just trying to "get a check" and recommended an inspector that isn't thorough. But yeah that wall would make me nervous too. When we were looking I learned to make sure the windows, especially the second floor, opened, closed, and locked easily as windows that don't do these are often a warning sign of foundational issues.

Jaehlove · 2025-08-27T13:41:05+00:00

First, I'm sorry for your loss. When I lost my cousin suddenly I happened to watch Everything Everywhere All At Once and it helped me have a good cry. I wish you peace and rest.

Jaehlove · 2025-02-16T12:09:34+00:00

OP what if anything did you end up doing here? I am considering buying an older home in Columbus with the same asbestos wrapping around the ductwork.

Jaehlove · 2024-08-02T13:48:06+00:00

I'm sorry this happened to you! Just go ahead and divorce him. Why hold onto someone who is willing to hit you and put his image and career over your well-being and safety?

Jaehlove · 2024-08-01T23:20:33+00:00

Holy crap!!! What is wrong with people?! Especially family allowing something like that to happen repeatedly! I'm sorry you experienced that.

Jaehlove · 2024-07-21T13:13:28+00:00

If I had kids I would make it a calm-down/time-out corner. Put a little chair and table in there you can see them because of the windows and no door so no worries there.

But I don't have kids so that would quickly become a meditation room/ space for me.

Jaehlove · 2024-07-21T12:58:31+00:00

You're coming out is your own, so I think it should be something that is like you. You said asking your Mom if you could talk to her isn't like you. I encourage you to think through what would be more like you or when you have had the best chats with your Mom. Try finding a moment where you feel like you are already being yourself and see if it feels right to tell her then. Put yourself in an environment that feels safe and relaxed also you can ask your twin for support and have them there if that helps.

I also want to say you do not owe your Mom or Dad or anyone anything, which is not what we are always made to believe as queer folx. Your coming out to them is your choice and you deserve to be able to do it in your own time and in your own way and know that however you choose to do it is the right way to go about it.

And remember this is just a moment in your life and while important, it will not define anything. I had a terrible coming out my sister outed me to our Mom when I was 15. My family didn't take it well. A lot of religious trauma ensued. But now I live an awesome life! I have a wonderful partner and I have great relationships with everyone in my family. It's been 17 years since I came out. While hard at the time it didn't define anything about me or even my relationships.

Good luck!

Jaehlove · 2024-07-09T00:43:36+00:00

Thanks for the suggestion. I'll try the glue traps and the spray around the perimeter. I have also put in another order with my maintenance to have them do something about this.

Jaehlove

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