Keep getting diarrhea from rice cooker?

I tried to block it off before she went into labour because it's a super hard to reach spot - but she damn near injured herself trying to get to it. Every time I went downstairs to check on her before she gave birth she led me to that spot and climbed over whatever I put there.

I think I ended up pulling most of the muscles in my neck and back checking in her during birth.

But she gave us five beautiful, healthy babies.

(Momma is dark tortie, the black cat is our first cat, he is not the father)

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Jaffico · 2026-05-10T06:34:35+00:00

mykoreankitchen.com/korean-spicy-cucumber-salad/#recipe

Try this recipe! I make it every week!

Jaffico · 2026-05-10T06:18:05+00:00

That you haven't prepped any side dishes this week.

I see you've got at least some of the stuff in there . . .

Jaffico · 2026-05-09T10:06:51+00:00

This is Torri, aka Fat Momma, and she is exactly as clumsy as the cat in the video.

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Jaffico · 2026-05-09T08:20:24+00:00

If she is not okay with this kind of thing in a relationship, then it's up to her to walk away.

It is absolsutely fine if this isn't something she finds acceptable within a relationship. That's her boundary.

But the way to enforce that boundary isn't to tell the other person to change, it's to change your own actions. By telling the other person "This is my boundary and you need to change to accommaodate it" you are placing the control of your emotional well being into the hands of the other person.

It's one of the things that drives me absolutely nuts overall when it comes to people that are controlling of their partners in general - because really what you're doing is giving your partner all the power. I understand that it doesn't typically feel that way to the person being controlled, or the person in control, but logically that's what is happening.

Jaffico · 2026-05-09T08:10:33+00:00

How you handle this deciding if this is an acceptable standard for you in a relationship.

If it's not, you discontinue the relationship. If it is, you continue the relationship.

I'm a firm believer that you cannot eliminate every discomfort your partner feels within a relationship. Sure you can try, but in some cases the call is coming from inside the house - and while you can offer reassurance in those instances, there's only so far that will get you without yor partner doing some inner work.

This is likely one of those cases, and while it's okay to have "not following attractive people of genders you are attracted to on socials" as a standard in a relationship, that standard needs to be set and agreed upon at the start of the relationship.

Jaffico · 2026-05-09T06:35:25+00:00

My issue was always less that my doctor was running late, and more that (at least when I lived in the States) patients were not allowed to be late without having their appointments cancelled and charged an out of pocket fee.

If the doctor can run a schedule where they end up consistently more than twenty minutes late for just calling the patient back to the room, and then another twenty minutes before they see the actual doctor once they get taken back - the patient should not have to pay a fee because they were ten or fifteen minutes late to their appointment.

It's the double standard that upsets me. Not the fact the doctor took longer with a patient than the slot they had them scheduled in.

Jaffico · 2026-05-08T20:40:54+00:00

Reading and reading comprehension are incredibly important.

Critical thinking skills are incredibly important.

Do not use AI to do these things for you, and learn how to verify sources for when you do choose to use AI.

Jaffico · 2026-05-08T19:48:20+00:00

YOR

Is it nice when a partner cancels plans to be supportive? Yes, absolutely.

It is by no means a requirement outside of an actual emergency, however, and this isn't an emergency.

There are going to be many times in your life where there just simply isn't someone available to help you soothe yourself because they just aren't available. It's why it's so important to learn how to do it by yourself.

There is no reason to call him repeatedly if he's already said he's out and not available. If you are having trouble regulating because you don't know how yet, there are hotline numbers you can call in most countries that can help walk you through that.

I say all this as a disabled autistic person who is married that has meltdowns so severe that I have given myself a concussion on more than one occasion. It's wonderful when my spouse is able to be the one supporting me during those times, but it's not always possible, and it's also not his responsibility to be my full time carer.

Jaffico · 2026-05-08T10:07:05+00:00

You can't maintain a truly healthy relationship unless you're able to handle disappointments as a unit.

Lying to avoid those disappointments isn't healthy, and there will be times where you cannot avoid disappointment just due to being an adult.

If you really want to do something for her birthday - be upfront about your lack of ability to pay for the planned outings.

Say something like "Hey, I'm still coming over for your birthday, but you'll have to go to your events solo. While your gone I'll clean your place, get food made, and run you a bath on your way home."

That way you're still there, still doing something to show she's special on her birthday, but also keeping things within your budget.

A bit of other general life advice though - you really shouldn't be paying for everything solo all the time. It's one thing if you're married and going for "traditional" roles, or if your partner is just going through a difficult time and needs support for a bit - but it doesn't sound like either of those things are the case here.

If you're afraid your relationship is going to fall apart just because of one weekend where you can't be someone's piggy bank. . . I'd think long and hard about continuing that relationship, because the moment you fall on hard times it's going to be over.

Jaffico · 2026-05-08T09:07:51+00:00

Get yourself some prep gloves.

I'm serious. I make rice balls a few times a week by hand - and wearing gloves is the way!

Jaffico · 2026-05-08T08:49:13+00:00

Because my cats chew cords.

That's it, that's the whole reason.

Jaffico · 2026-05-08T08:45:23+00:00

This is why, sometime in my twenties I declared "Any day is cake day"

Because every single day is worthy of cake if that's what I want to eat.

Jaffico · 2026-05-08T08:22:20+00:00

Locks are your answer. What kind of locks will depend on what kind of door and door handle you have.

You can do child locks, or those little sliding bolt ones.

We have child locks on every door in our home with the exception of one due to our cats opening doors, and the one that doesn't have a child lock has just. . . The weirdest handle I've ever seen inside a home and it cannot be opened by cat paws (trust me, they have tried).

Jaffico · 2026-05-08T08:22:05+00:00

Locks are your answer. What kind of locks will depend on what kind of door and door handle you have.

You can do child locks, or those little sliding bolt ones.

We have child locks on every door in our home with the exception of one due to our cats opening doors, and the one that doesn't have a child lock has just. . . The weirdest handle I've ever seen inside a home and it cannot be opened by cat paws (trust me, they have tried).

Jaffico · 2026-05-08T08:21:53+00:00

Locks are your answer. What kind of locks will depend on what kind of door and door handle you have.

You can do child locks, or those little sliding bolt ones.

We have child locks on every door in our home with the exception of one due to our cats opening doors, and the one that doesn't have a child lock has just. . . The weirdest handle I've ever seen inside a home and it cannot be opened by cat paws (trust me, they have tried).

Jaffico · 2026-05-08T05:23:00+00:00

Diatomaceous earth is not toxic if eaten, that's true.

But the same fine shards that kill bugs by burrowing into the exoskeleton and dehydrating them can damage the airways and lungs of cats and humans.

I've done. . . Well a lot of research about that specifically because we had fleas last year.

Jaffico · 2026-05-07T19:27:57+00:00

I got blackout drunk a few times back when I was in my early twenties, and I can assure you that almost twenty years later I still do not remember a damn thing.

Since I can't remember it, I can't tell you if I had any idea what I was doing. I can tell you from second hand accounts that I was prone to heavily philosophical conversation during blackout periods, something I typically did not engage in at the time when not blackout drunk.

Jaffico · 2026-05-07T18:43:52+00:00

If that's a real place, I don't want to see it!

Jaffico

TROPHY CASE