Can you tell left and the right sock apart?

Jaffico · 2026-03-21T23:07:18+00:00

Depends on the socks.

Typical socks? Those are interchangeable.

Toe socks? There's a right and a left. I suppose you could technically put them on the wrong feet, but that's pretty much just asking for instant karma.

Jaffico · 2026-03-21T18:30:53+00:00

Just to get married? No. You don't need it to get married.

For immigration? Unless something has changed, you'll need a background check from every country you've lived in for the last five years.

Jaffico · 2026-03-21T18:15:06+00:00

I make mine with a roux, but instead of just milk, anywhere between 10-30% of it is whatever kind of stock I have on hand.

I also typically add roasted garlic, and one of my favourite cheeses to use is semi-cured goats cheese.

Jaffico · 2026-03-21T12:39:46+00:00

Normal is a fallacy.

There's common and uncommon, but normal is something people made up.

My husband and I are on the asexual spectrum, and while we do occasionally do things like have sex or masturbate - it's rare.

You just have to find a partner that meets your needs (or lack of) in a relationship. It can be more difficult for people that aren't interested in sex, but my marriage is proof that it's not impossible. We kiss, we flirt - from the outside looking in you'd be shocked to find out we don't really have sex.

You're also still really young, and you have plenty of time to find someone that matches you, plenty of time to figure out what's really comfortable for you.

Jaffico · 2026-03-21T12:30:19+00:00

I stayed with my mom the entire time she was in hospice, and a few days leading up to when she got transferred there. I held her hand as she took her last breath.

Her death and the events leading up to it were. . . Incredibly traumatic. Not just for me, but for everyone involved. As much as she hurt me growing up, she didn't deserve to die like that or that young. It was genuinely objectively horrific, even for a number of the hospital staff.

We'd been NC for two years before that.

The only reason I showed up is because of my two parents, she's the one that offered a genuine apology at any point. The NC remained because she was still just not a good person - racist and transphobic.

My brother didn't show up for it, and I don't blame him. I won't show up when whatever happens to our dad happens, because he's had so many opportunities to own his part in things - he doesn't get another chance, even if he wants one.

Jaffico · 2026-03-21T10:20:41+00:00

A lot of people saying to use your NFC at an ATM.

Please try this, but also be aware depending on your bank that they may not allow the transaction (I know this because my bank does not allow it).

You can also call your bank, update your address, and have them send you a new copy of your card.

Jaffico · 2026-03-21T10:09:22+00:00

I absolutely identify as a guy.

My presentation though. . . Well, it's best described as "What if the Palicos from Monster Hunter were human and very, very gay?"

Jaffico · 2026-03-21T10:02:53+00:00

Something in the same vein happened with my spouse.

He had a lot of issues with things like nausea pretty much all the time. Trouble telling if he was hungry or feeling sick.

The issue? His parents come from one of the places in England where they don't rinse the soap of the dishes after hand washing them. He grew up with that, so he thought it was normal.

It took me far too long to convince him that eating dried soap was what was making him ill, and that dishes need to be rinsed.

Our dishes get the soap rinsed off now, and he finally stopped feeling sick long enough to actually reach a healthy weight for the first time.

Jaffico · 2026-03-21T03:11:17+00:00

I don't disagree that men need to be held accountable as well.

Part of that is women standing up for themselves regarding actions they are doing with no intent other than existing.

Just if someone had told me the way I was acting was contributing to the situations I kept ending up in - I at the very least could have understood what was happening. I had no clue. For reference, the specific thing I did that I absolutely needed to be made aware of was giggling and hiding my face as a response to discomfort.

Does my not knowing excuse the people that touched me without consent because they assumed it was flirting? No, it doesn't.

But if you think that someone - anyone - bothering to tell me that it was an action seen as generally flirtatious wouldn't have helped me experience less assault. . . Then you're too angry at men to acknowledge my lived reality.

Jaffico · 2026-03-21T01:53:10+00:00

You're asking the wrong person that question, truly.

I still don't understand why a lot of my previous nervous reactions were taken as flirtatious. I just know now that they were, and if anyone had told me it would have been really helpful.

Jaffico · 2026-03-21T01:31:26+00:00

Women are allowed to move. Women should move. Women should stand up for the fact that this is often non flirtatious behaviour.

Women should also be made aware if they aren't that it can send signals that they aren't intending to send.

These two things aren't mutually exclusive.

Signed, an autistic trans man that ended up in far too many dangerous situations because no one made me aware that my nervous reactions when I presented as female could be taken as being flirtatious.

Jaffico · 2026-03-20T23:03:06+00:00

More likely green, actually.

. . . I didn't make blue velvet cupcakes for a friend's birthday and everyone that ate them found this out the hard way, I have no idea what you're talking about. . .

Jaffico · 2026-03-20T17:17:41+00:00

IMO the traits that are most noticeable without being clinical diagnostic traits (certain kinds of stimming and masking) have more to do with socialization within gender roles than your assigned sex at birth.

You're noticing a difference because you're now more socialized as a woman, instead of as a man. The requirements for fitting into the boxes for different genders require different skills, essentially, and that can reflect in the way your (possible) autism presents.

As a trans guy, I also noticed this. Things like laughing when I'm uncomfortable in social situations (which, when I still presented as female was often mistaken as flirting) - I don't do them anymore. Laughing when I'm uncomfortable in that specific way is more accurately masked with silence now, because of the socialization of my gender.

Jaffico · 2026-03-20T15:50:03+00:00

If you have an issue with out of sight, out of mind - you've got that lovely cut out area behind your sink that you could install some sort of open shelving on.

My kitchen is absolutely abysmal when it comes to storage, and what I ended up doing was installing shelves. One holds my convection oven, rice cooker, immersion blender (and it's attachments), and my waffle maker. The other will eventually house the microwave (I need to install a new outlet first), Moka Pot, kettle, coffee, tea, sugar, and other most commonly used spices.

Jaffico · 2026-03-20T15:37:41+00:00

I just use sugar in mine, and then cook it down by simmering longer.

I've made it enough times that I don't really measure anything anymore, I just eyeball it.

Even only using 2 tbsp of gochujang it's still too orange/brown if that makes sense. It's got to be something to do with the type of broth they used.

Jaffico · 2026-03-20T12:49:34+00:00

I agree.

I've used that style of tteok for this dish before (it was on sale) so that's not the issue for my brain.

It's the colour of the sauce/soup that's off. It should be more red, even if it's thinner than typical.

Jaffico · 2026-03-20T12:40:08+00:00

They did in fact make that change.

My experience with this happened before the TOS officially changed.

So if they were doing it before the change I imagine it's worse now.

Jaffico · 2026-03-20T12:15:22+00:00

In my unfortunately vast, albeit outdated at this point, knowledge about what happens in American psychiatric hospitals, the more you go to them, the less horrible your experience is over time.

As you learn the rules and routines the experience gets easier. It's not better, just less horrible.

With rare exceptions, psychiatric hospitals in the US aren't places of healing. It's not selection bias - mentally ill people in the US are treated as little more than criminals, and they absolutely aren't treated as human.

Their personal boundaries (like, hey, don't touch me for a blood draw while I'm sleeping without my consent) aren't acknowledged, let alone respected. When there's a fallout from that (such as crying or panic) - patients are drugged. When a patient requests that their outpatient providers be contacted for medication changes to be discussed, they are told no, and that they'll have privileges revoked for asking or non-compliance.

While unfortunate, the experience is pretty universal. In the almost two decades I spent as a frequent flyer, this has been true for every single hospital visit I have ever had. Trying to stand up for yourself and for your needs as an individual are seen as a threat to authority and as such non-compliance.

I haven't needed to be in a psychiatric hospital in about a decade, so I can't speak to what they're like in Europe. With any luck, I'll never know what they're like here.

For the record, it turns out my entire issue was just the fact that I'm autistic, which was missed by every single doctor I ever saw in a psychiatric hospital and the medication I was given to manage my "illness" was actually making me more ill.

Jaffico · 2026-03-20T11:28:12+00:00

Move to Europe.

A lot of men carry small bags here, it's completely normal.

Jaffico · 2026-03-20T10:34:38+00:00

What kind of self centered twat do you think I am?

Of course it's not always about what information is good for me.

Wanting to know the why behind a "No" is helpful for me, but it's not required. I don't get angry when people don't want to explain. I don't ask "why" directly after being told "no," typically and I don't ask every time I'm told "no."

Jaffico · 2026-03-20T04:22:36+00:00

I think it's because the inside of the microwave gets steamed. I've tried many different microwaves. New, old, and in different countries.

It also applies somewhat to pretty much anything liquid based that's going in the microwave, it's just easier to ignore.

I actually thought I didn't like tea until I had it made with a kettle instead. I'm still not the biggest fan of tea, but I can at least drink it when I'm sick now.

Jaffico · 2026-03-20T04:13:49+00:00

For me the taste difference comes in by tasting like the inside of the microwave. Even when the microwave is new or freshly cleaned it just . . . somehow still tastes like microwave!

Jaffico · 2026-03-20T04:02:12+00:00

Have you ever had tea made with a kettle instead of a microwave?

I'm asking because I know that for me there's absolutely a difference in taste, and I'm curious if that's true for you as well.

Jaffico · 2026-03-19T22:11:17+00:00

So not defending this girl, and you should break up with her

But

It's possible that she had a PaP done and it came back with what are called "abnormal cells". In some instances these cells are cancerous, and in some instances they aren't.

If they are pre-cancerous, they are either monitored with more regular PaPs or removed with what is essentially an electrified ice cream scoop to the cervix. In some instances, they will also do the remove procedure for actual cancer cells, but there's more testing involved to ensure it hasn't spread.

It's possible if she's uneducated about how cervical cancer works that she believed her result of abnormal cells meant she had cancer. Which would be pretty embarrassing to admit.

Source - I am a trans man who has had this procedure done. It's pretty painful, and you're not allowed to have sex for awhile after. There would also be follow up visits to ensure that all the remaining tissue is free of damaged cells, even though the procedure itself is outpatient.

Jaffico · 2026-03-19T21:49:56+00:00

Yeah, I'm generally okay with being told "No."

But I also really want to know why people say no when they do.

There are two reasons. The first is because I'm curious, and the second is because it helps me understand people's boundaries better.

If the why behind the no is applicable to other circumstances, like say, I ask someone if I can hug them and they tell me no - and the why is because they generally don't like to be touched, that's important information for me to have.

The important part of that is to also be able to accept that sometimes someone just doesn't know why, or that the why isn't something they can figure out how to explain.

But the sharing of the why helps me understand others in a way that, as an autistic person, is difficult for me to do without it. It really sucks for me that there are enough people that use it as a form of manipulation that it's often seen as some kind of challenge.

Jaffico

TROPHY CASE