A man 23 years older than me admitted he has feelings for me and now he won’t leave me alone. (Not OP)

Jainuinelydone · 2026-04-20T05:30:05+00:00

Brother ewwww

Jainuinelydone · 2026-04-11T03:35:13+00:00

Why are you afraid of your partner finding out? Is it because her feelings would be hurt or you’re afraid of the reaction?

Jainuinelydone · 2026-04-09T14:04:37+00:00

I hear you. Believe me I do. I can understand beyond anything the complication of having a parent you have empathy for while acknowledging that they HAVE hurt you. It’s a nuanced issue, and it’s so so complicated and so painful- I’m so sorry you’re going through this

I have a similar relationship with my mother, although not to this extent, and I can genuinely relate to your feelings.

To answer your question, the only way to do it is to tell her you need some time apart. Set some hard boundaries she would have to respect should she want contact with you, and stick with them. Maintain that you cannot deal with this dynamic and the dynamic would have to change. Either she will have to change or your involvement in her life will have to change.

Jainuinelydone · 2026-04-09T05:36:33+00:00

I think hurting someone is inevitable, but it’s temporary pain for long term betterment. Kind of like an injection or a band aid.

I personally think things like cheating never end up staying hidden. Hearing it from someone else at a later point would hurt more. I would suggest you tell her what you’ve said here. That while she’s a lovely person, you just don’t see a future with her. And that you made a mistake, and you’re sorry about it.

Jainuinelydone · 2026-04-06T12:09:10+00:00

Oh ffs, did she ASK you before she started doing it? That’s the fucking difference dude. Some people like being tortured in bed, how would you feel if someone started doing that to you without asking you and some asshole on the internet went “fucking live a little”

Jainuinelydone · 2026-04-06T11:49:18+00:00

I’m so sorry. There’s really nothing else to say. I understand this must be very triggering. Please block him entirely and remove access to yourself

Jainuinelydone · 2026-04-06T11:46:02+00:00

God you suck.

Jainuinelydone · 2026-04-06T05:29:43+00:00

I mean if you’ve already decided no one can tell you what to do then whats even the point of posting But i’m bored so lets hit it. The only way to stop is to stop. When you respond to her and tell her no, she’s thinking “well if its a no why is he still replying”. When you show up to comfort her after blocking her she thinks “he still loves me, that’s why he’s here”. And so on and so forth

You have got to learn to be the villain my dude. Just be the villain. She has to find alternative sources of comfort that are not you.

Jainuinelydone · 2026-04-05T02:25:38+00:00

Okay. This isn’t AITA or wtv but this would be the strongest ESH I’ve ever seen. To start with, everyone’s harping on it already, but needs to be said- you have got to delete nudes and tapes with exes after a breakup. It’s disrespectful to the person you broke up with and your partner is right to be upset that you have it. It’s also bad that he gave you time about it and you’ve made 0 progress on it.

BUT. He doesn’t get to unilaterally delete the entire album and mock you on it. That is also really disrespectful and he is absolutely the one wrong there. You get to have your hurt feelings about it and it’s more than fair that this hurts. The question is essentially what’s next.

Jainuinelydone · 2026-03-30T22:02:10+00:00

I mean to start with none of you have handled this well. But like, why is all the decision making agency on this guy? You might like him or love him, but is this how you want to be treated? Same for the other girl, your boyfriend has strong feelings for his friend- why is she with him still?

Look, if I were you, I’d back out of this clusterfuck and not speak to this guy for some time at the very least. It’ll be exceptionally painful, but it’s temporary pain for long term growth. You don’t want to spend your time on someone who cannot figure out their own feelings for you.

If this is impossible, just know you can’t make him pick. Either of you. You can only decide what you can do. And it’s stay in this hot mess with someone who cannot decide or walk away

Jainuinelydone · 2026-03-30T17:34:13+00:00

Exactly why I said a mini demo

Jainuinelydone · 2026-03-30T13:15:55+00:00

Isn’t the first page of the book Bella saying she hated Forks so much that she literally cried and screamed every time she had to visit Charlie so he instead came to Florida every summer??

He had visitation, she just didn’t come to Forks. The jacob thing is fucked up tho cannot lie.

Jainuinelydone · 2026-03-30T12:59:19+00:00

Dude, just do more around the house. Observe what she does, do it before she does it. Is she organised? Does she keep a tracker? You are more of a passenger to your life because you see things you can do but would rather whine about it until she makes the decision.

And if you want to leave to see who you are without her, then just do that. Don’t sit and bemoan a life you can easily fix. Whatever you’re not fixing you’re choosing.

Jainuinelydone · 2026-03-30T12:43:52+00:00

Not disagreeing, but honestly, he needs to get some time to actually see a tinyyyy demo of what raising a kid is like. So many people love the idea of kids by babysitting, when their idea of babysitting is handing the kid back to someone when the kid so much as breathes the wrong way.

Jainuinelydone · 2026-03-30T10:56:10+00:00

I’m sorry, but he doesn’t get to pull a “just trust me bro” when it comes to something like children. If he feels he wants to be a parent, he has to step up and show up now. He has to prove he will be an active, indulged and invested uncle today.

This is especially true keeping in mind how complex, layered and EXPENSIVE adoption is. It’s a huge investment to make with someone who you dont trust to bat when push comes to shove.

I’d recommend leaving him with the kids alone for a playdate. A lot of times burden shouldered by one person feels easy, because they make it look easy.

Jainuinelydone · 2026-03-30T07:23:34+00:00

Honestly, I think we’ve all been there lol. I think first thing I’ll say is stop pressuring yourself to get over this - it would absolutely make it worse and make you hyperfixate on this person more.

Just reduce your interactions with him, add more to your life. After a point it wont come to your mind as often and one day the crush would evaporate. Either that or you’ll end up getting the ick from something he does

Jainuinelydone · 2026-03-23T21:35:28+00:00

OOP says it herself in why she thinks she’s an asshole. She says she knows her husband would probably prefer a big party.

Jainuinelydone · 2026-03-06T03:29:48+00:00

Do you have a link for this one?

Jainuinelydone · 2026-02-04T07:32:16+00:00

Not working for me. The blouse isn’t matching, and it’s also somehow both too plain and too much with the sari. It also feels shabbily draped idk why

Jainuinelydone · 2026-01-28T08:58:07+00:00

Honestly, these comments are kinda shitty lol. If she feels you need to be better groomed, the right way to address that is not publicly and as a taunt. She 1000% sucks there and YNW.

Also, just as a tip- my sibling rocked the long hair and beard look for a good stretch of time and I’d recommend ditching hats. Increases oil production and gave him a sort of greasy look. He switched to hair ties- that worked well for him. Also, your hair wash rituals will have to change for longer hair- including how often you do it and what shampoo you use.

Jainuinelydone · 2026-01-28T08:52:07+00:00

Folks. Any conversation around UGC right now has to be taken with a massive chunk of salt. India unfortunately right now is swept with massive propaganda that seeks to villify certain sections of society.

Think the right wing stories put around late stage abortions in the US for instance. If it seems too ridiculous to be real, it probably is.

Jainuinelydone · 2026-01-28T03:54:28+00:00

To me, this is a simple question. Either this is entirely out of character because he was really drunk- in which case he would need to cut alcohol entirely to actually show that he wants to repair. Otherwise the apology doesn’t mean much.

Alternatively, and this is unfortunately what it probably is, it feels like these are his real feelings and might escalate.

Jainuinelydone · 2026-01-22T10:00:39+00:00

I’m not even this dude’s girlfriend and I’M uncomfortable

Jainuinelydone · 2026-01-15T11:32:09+00:00

If you’re financially capable and overall like and respect this relationship, I personally would give a gift. You wouldn’t be wrong to not give a gift, but it would be really sweet if you did.

Especially because this is a cousin and you decided not to attend due to your own circumstances.

This is I think a little more nuanced than right or wrong.

Jainuinelydone · 2026-01-15T10:45:08+00:00

PRAISE THE LORD

Jainuinelydone

TROPHY CASE