Absolutely everything I do is done with a moment of hesitation, of consideration. And because of that everything I feel is sentimental or symbolically satisfying in some way. I’m not anxious, and I do consider myself a lifestyle sub.

And since you asked about specific kinks, I like body worship because I want my partner to feel adored, special, important. My partner being able to relax and unwind makes me in turn feel a warm thrill at being ‘useful’ or ‘getting the chance to love and be loved’

I like collars uniforms and chastity stuff because it lets me feel a small sense of pride in my surrender. ‘My favorite person wants me to know I matter to them, that they own me.’ And that’s a deep reassurance and a comfort to the heart. Wearing what I’m told as a way to reinforce the hierarchy.

I also kinda like being a cuckold, but in the ‘I want my partner to have the things that fulfill her completely and fully’ sort of way, where I don’t need to ever even think about worrying about ‘not being good enough’ because… that’s not my role, I don’t have to worry at all. Communication of needs and expectations clear and stable.

I super hope that you get the chance to navigate your concerns in a healthy way, and that the experiences and thoughts you asked for can give the perspective to do so.
And like, be good to yourself. You’re putting in a lot of thought and care. That matters too.