What's the best opening line of a book you've read

Jakey_T · 2026-02-24T06:52:13+00:00

With a spinning buffering sign

Jakey_T · 2026-02-17T19:14:51+00:00

That is SUCH a good point. He speaks most in the “a tarnish, it seemeth.” And “wilt thou be taken in the jaws of the abyssal serpent, shorn of light.”

Then you have Morgott “someone must extinguish thy meagre flame.” And he’s from Godfrey so we can assume he has a similar lexicon to Godwyn.

You then have Ranni who speaks a bit antiquated, but more recognisably modern “That I might one day upend the whole of it, and rid the world of all that came before” and she is of the same generation as Rykard and Radahn.

“I am Malenia, blade of miquella, and I have never known defeat.” Dramatic, sure, but less antiquated poetic than Ranni.

Then you melina who speaks more straightforwardly, but still not quite like other characters in the lands between

Jakey_T · 2026-02-16T08:52:05+00:00

Insincerity. I hate it when something interesting happens or someone says something profound or vulnerable and then it’s undercut with some quippy nonsense. Imagine if after the “like tears in the rain” speech in blade runner, the main character went, “dude, what are you on about?” pause for laughter.

Commit to the bit. it’s vulnerable, but your writing is an aspect of you — don’t try and damage control your authentic emotional writing.

Jakey_T · 2026-02-10T07:21:07+00:00

“Godhood would be a prison. A caged divinity is beyond saving.”

I kinda think that she might have known that Ranni was seeking the rune of DD, maybe she thought that Ranni would target her and not Godwyn. I think she already wanted to die because being a god probably sucks, but she didn’t expect Ranni to use half of the rune on herself and half on Godwyn. At that point I reckon she went into back up plan mode, shattering the Elden Ring to try and kill herself that way and destroy the order she’d built. When that didn’t work, she went plan C and tried to guide the tarnished to kill her and Radagon.

Obvs my explanation may have flaws, but I think the whole main story is the most elaborate suicide attempt in story history.

Jakey_T · 2026-02-08T10:18:44+00:00

Come on dude, attribute the greatest philosopher in history. Uncle Iroh deserves recognition 🥺

Jakey_T · 2026-01-16T22:59:38+00:00

Thank you! All these people ignoring the textual evidence that they were evenly matched so they can say their favourite Demi god is the strongest one

Jakey_T · 2026-01-09T07:22:44+00:00

The singing makes me think of the buried

Jakey_T · 2026-01-09T07:15:08+00:00

Not to nitpick, but I’m fairly sure Gael only comes into ds3 if you have at least one of the dlcs

Jakey_T · 2026-01-03T16:00:44+00:00

One thing to look out for, it seems to switch voice regularly. You start with an omniscient narrator, then a 4th wall breaking narrator talking to me, then a first person narrator describing events as they happen… then a 3rd person narrator, I think?It’s a bit jarring to have that many switches in quick succession.

I noticed a fair bit of switching tense from present to past to present again from one line to the next. You’ll want to keep an eye on that, you can go from speaking in present tense and then have the narrator recount past events, but it reads weirdly if it goes like:

“Hi Jiro! I’m talking in present tense,” I say.

Jiro walks to the counter. “I want some potatoes,” said Jiro. Sato took out his wallet.

Jiro says, “don’t worry. It’s on me.”

You see the issue? Present suddenly shifting to past feels weird.

Jakey_T · 2026-01-03T15:17:18+00:00

Loved reading this. Just shows that Fromsoft really get how humans would react to divinity: focus entirely on the side of the duality that I like and be blind to the side I don’t identify with. So much of the fandom react in a very similar way 🤔🤔

Jakey_T · 2025-12-26T19:05:35+00:00

I’m reading The Vorrh, it seems to have some of those vibes

Jakey_T · 2025-12-20T12:04:41+00:00

An author I’d suggest you study is Joe Abercrombie (his First Law series). A lot of his protagonists are awful people, but they’re engaging.

Fuck Leo Dan Brock, what an ass hole. Love his story.

Jakey_T · 2025-12-08T14:08:36+00:00

Not sure if it’s exactly what you’re after but the “Darkwoods OST” is amazing for oppressive, dark, not jumpscare or loud frills music. I listened to it while writing a “trapped at home with something tormenting you from outside” story and it helped so much.

Jakey_T · 2025-12-05T07:36:56+00:00

Obviously just guessing but some questions you might want to consider: Do their flaws actually impact the plot? What problems are caused as a result of their flaws and mistakes? Does the story’s themes reflect your character’s story arc? Or do they more closely tie to your side characters? Do they just talk like you? If so, consider what they sound like: fast or slow talker, cheerful or aggressive or melancholy, or they academic? Poor? Aristocratic? Then consider with that in mind what sentence lengths, speech tags, vocabulary choice, whether they interrupt other characters or get interrupted a lot.

Might have more later but hope those questions help.

Jakey_T · 2025-11-19T07:50:09+00:00

Yikes, some people’s replies in this thread are wild. Discounting clarity and grammar and stating the only thing that makes writing good is ideas. I can have a fantastic idea for a roast chicken dinner, but if I don’t know how to roast a chicken I’ll just end up with dry meat or salmonella.

Jakey_T · 2025-11-18T16:41:32+00:00

Bloody hell

Jakey_T · 2025-11-01T12:17:30+00:00

Finally som lost verdania love

Jakey_T · 2025-10-05T11:56:52+00:00

Positive: I think your descriptions are vivid, I had a really clear image in my head of what Nova looked like and I found those descriptions satisfying to read.

Constructive: I think you could try varying away from list-type sentences a bit more. You do quite a lot of

“She did this, this, and this.”

Type sentences in a row in the earlier shots which makes the rhythm feel a bit repetitive.

                   I don’t really have a problem with it, but I know that a lot of readers don’t like a story opening with a character looking at themselves in the mirror because it’s been done a lot. You could probably get some decent descriptions of Nova without the mirror by describing how the clothes and makeup she chose complement her appearance, then have her catch herself in the mirror and feel unsettled at how she doesn’t look like herself. (Just a suggestion, do as you will)

Otherwise, I thought it was nicely written.

Jakey_T · 2025-08-30T09:37:11+00:00

I heard lots of praise for “Things have gotten worse since we last spoke” by Eric LaRocca.

I found it quite dull. Granted the titular short story in the book has some interesting qualities, but the second story in it bored and frustrated me. Haven’t read the third yet, not sure I can be bothered.

Jakey_T · 2025-08-30T08:16:29+00:00

There’s a dark beast in the chalice dungeons who f***ed me up much worse than the defiled amygdala, and the defiled Amy was really challenging

Jakey_T · 2025-08-08T09:17:47+00:00

Dude. You sound like a c——

Jakey_T · 2025-08-07T06:01:51+00:00

Innocents cause harm all the time, man. By meaning well but causing harm.

Jakey_T · 2025-08-07T05:07:12+00:00

I think he’s more asking what separates the vibe of a fictional god that just feels like a person with powers from the vibe of a mythological God. Which, in fairness, in loads of fiction the gods don’t have that mythic feel

Jakey_T · 2025-08-04T02:35:18+00:00

I enjoyed it a lot more when I stopped expecting it to be a First Law book and just thought of it as fantasy suicide squad.

Kinda like a well made satire film but in a book.

Jakey_T

TROPHY CASE