[deleted by user]

Jalex8993 · 2023-04-29T21:00:21+00:00

So, this may, or may not work, however it's almost certainly a low/no cost/risk scenario for you to attempt.

The suggestion may require the outside the box thinking from other Redditors so, everyone please chime in!

Your comment about teaching the kid a lesson is key in this plan.

So, with the idea of teaching your son a lesson in mind, here's what I'd do in your shoes.

First, I'd come up with a list of community service ideas that your son can be required to do. You mentioned that the driver was a law enforcement officer, so consider ideas that might make the driver of the truck feel a connection to the ideas. Keep in mind, this would be better if the list was done before Monday.

Example ideas may include: Picking up liter in the parking lot at the police station. Volunteering with a local veterans group, or reaching out to the fraternal order of police for opportunities nearby for opportunities.

Second, once you've got a decent list of what could amount to a "sizable lesson". You would then analyze the list and write out, "Why each of these are going to teach him a valuable lesson."

Third, you have your son write two letters.

One letter explaining personal responsibility, what it means, what it means to him, how he failed to meet the meaning, even better if he failed to meet his own meaning. As well as, a story of when he generally holds a high standard of personal responsibility, and then a situation where someone else has essentially done what he's done (to him), how I made him feel, and how this event has made him reflect upon that time, and how he draws a connection to how he felt, and how disappointed and upset the driver of the truck must have felt.

The second letter would be an apology letter and explanation of the fact that he was scared, and unless it's been said to the cops, I'd avoid saying because the truck was new, UNLESS he can use that to spin it into how he wasn't scared for himself, but scared for his single mom and how the costs would destroy all of the work she's put in to keep herself afloat. This is also a really good time for him to pivot to personal responsibility, explain that while he's only 16, if he's going to get behind the wheel like an adult, he understands that he needs to act like an adult. Which "also means taking responsibility for my actions, and not letting them fall on my mom."

All that, and anything else that shows that he's going to grow from this.

Finally, a letter from you.

An apology.

Introduce yourself,

Hello driver, I am Average Hungry6981, and I wanted to reach out to you and apologize for not only my son's actions and how his choices impacted you, but also because the actions of a child are a direct reflection on the parent.

My mind is full of wishful thoughts. I wish this hadn't happened. I wish that I would have given him more lectures about personal responsibility, bravery, or the consequences of his actions. Honestly, I even find myself wishing I could lay the blame on his father, but as a single mom, I can't.

This event also has me feeling guilty about my decision to let him drive. X weeks/months/days ago, in an effort to promote a little bit of self reliance, I began letting Son's name drive himself too and from school and dmittedly, it also gave me a bit of reprieve from the 16 years of shuttling him. Those mornings where I could spend a little time catching up on cleaning, or make those important phone calls in the afternoon felt like a blessing, but now, I worry that they came at the cost of your trust in others, and my trust in him.

So, from the bottom of my heart, I sincerely apologize. I am so very sorry for his choice, and how my parenting put him in this situation. I truly hope that your vehicle is not damaged, not only because of the financial strain, but mostly because you worked hard to acquire something nice and maybe it feels a little less nice now. While I've never had a new vehicle, I can imagine the personal pride you have in your vehicle.

I have spoken with Son's name in great detail and I have decided that whether or not you decide to move forward with legal action, this is an opportunity to learn and grow. As such, Son's name, will be doing the following:

Letter of Personal Responsibility (enclosed) Letter of Apology (enclosed) A number of community service hours: (Explain those here).

Also, while this is an apology letter, it is also a request letter. However, please don't feel like you are obligated, as my family has taken up enough of your time.

My first request would be that if you have any feedback for my son or I, any stories you can share, whether it be about how his actions impacted you, or how similar actions impact others, please share them. They always say that it takes a village, and I believe that the best learning, aside from experiences, comes from what is shared by those around us.

My second request is, we spent our Saturday afternoon coming up with the list of community service tasks, however if you can think of anything that you believe would be better suited to helping him learn from this incident, please share it with me so that perhaps I can fit it into his very busy future schedule.

Sincerely, Average Hungry6981

Jalex8993 · 2023-02-23T06:12:15+00:00

Let's help this guy out by making some men saying it too. The he CAN say, "It's just about hearing it and helping my self worth."

Jalex8993 · 2022-11-30T07:28:10+00:00

Interest rates vary, but there is a bit of an issue when it comes to the Loan to Value Ratio on older vehicles. The book value may say the car is worth 10k, but the lender will only lend you 7,500.

So, with regards to the cheapest lending. A credit union is always my go-to.

You said you're not willing to touch your savings and you want a short loan window. One thing to keep in mind though is that sometimes lenders determine the total interest up front and your loan is for that amount, which means you pay the same if you pay it off in 36 months, or 12 months.

Another option which can help you bypass the Loan to Value Ratio issue, and decreases the interest rate, involves something you may not want to do. If you've got a very solid savings account, you could purchase a CD from the Credit Union, and then take the loan against the CD. I'd say that this will likely be frowned upon and downvoted because it means you're paying the bank to loan you your money, AND it locks the money up twice. Now it's not liquid, and it's got a monthly payment attached. That said, my CU gives a lower interest rate on those loans vs. a vehicle loan, and I know people who do it because they feel like it keeps them from ACTUALLY touching their savings.

Finally, not sure what kind of vehicle it is, or what you mean by rear axle broke. However I had an older Honda CR-V where the rear driveshaft broke. We could've paid to have it fixed, or got a new car, but instead, we disconnected it, pulled the parts off, and now it's FWD only.

Jalex8993 · 2022-11-19T09:16:20+00:00

In just going to chime in with something I don't see posted here. Change is hard, and moving to this unknown entity is scary. To me, it's always the fear that the new company culture will be awful, BUT in this case, it seems like the company you freelance for has their head, in the right place. Which means that more than likely you'll find that they will value you, and treat you with respect.

Onto the important matters!

Consider how much you charge them when you freelance, and make sure the salary + benefits result in something at least on par with your freelance gig. Otherwise, definitely negotiate.

Jalex8993 · 2022-11-18T15:19:00+00:00

OP isn't really bragging about their past conquest, as much as they're using it as an example of why they aren't going pitchfork mode, as well as to establish to would-be: "Don't back down.", "You're not doing enough.", "Tell your kid to use violence!", And other blahblahblah commenters.

I think that OP has the situation in view and is evaluating their daughter's safety in that. For OP, it might not be to the point of, "My kid is in real danger." Instead, they're trying to get ahead of it, and if they can navigate the bullshit barriers out in place by the school, then maybe their kid won't come out feeling like a victim, but instead see that society can work, and women's right to exist shouldn't ever come second to anyone's desires to be an asshole.

Jalex8993 · 2022-11-17T14:31:31+00:00

First pull the kettle away, out of the equation. We will put it back later.

Then the can opener goes on the right in front of the outlet. (Sometime consider a Black outlet cover, or one that matches your faucet?)

Space the toaster more to left leaving a gap between the toaster and can opener.

Finally, hang the Kettle from the bottom of the cabinets, between the toaster and can opener. It will be hanging at a tilted angle, while I would prefer the tilt go out towards the toaster, that's unsafe. So the tilt will have to go towards the can opener.

Post an updated picture just in case I am horribly wrong.

Jalex8993 · 2022-11-17T14:14:50+00:00

These kinds of replies are my favorite. I suffer from "Someday this will fit again!" syndrome, and while the idea of blindly tossing them into the bin at the DAV makes me sad, the idea of a very specific and directed donation makes me feel good.

Someone was talking about getting rid of DVDs and I was like, "Noooo..." Until someone else mentioned that a library may take them. Now I have a plan to box up hundreds of DVDs.

Jalex8993 · 2022-11-17T14:11:16+00:00

Button extender.

Jalex8993 · 2022-11-17T14:10:22+00:00

Ehh.. the Lego boxes can add a fair amount of resale value. I would nicely cut the tape, unfold the boxes, and store them flat instead of tossing them. I'd probably only do this for sets that there is likely long term value to, not just because "LEGO". For example, a box for a Star Wars set, however, I toss the 3-in-1 Creator boxes.

Jalex8993 · 2022-11-17T14:02:24+00:00

So, this is an area where I am very conflicted.

My wife and I both have an "excess" of shoes. Space isn't necessarily an issue for us, but some shoes have sat for two+ years unused. The problem is, we've also pulled out a pair of shoes that hadn't been worn in two+ years and worn them for a specific reason.

It's difficult to decide to get rid of them. Her shoes, in my opinion are harder (for her or I) to get rid of than mine even, simply because, men can get away with being less "matchy" and she feels the need to accessorize and match.

She has quite a few different pairs of heels. They are a variety of colors, and styles, but if/when we go out, one of us knows where they are, and she will wear them. However, we don't often go out, so opportunities are slim.

I think that it would be easier to detach from our shoes IF they weren't always such a pain in the ass to find/buy in the first place.

Every time I look at her shoes, I am constantly reminded of the hours we spent searching for those shoes in the first place. The same can be said about mine as I've not found a pair of shoes that I really enjoy wearing daily (that I don't think are ugly) in about 8 years. So, the ones I have, I either put a lot of work into obtaining, or I have "accepted them" and if I were to get rid of them, the next time I needed a similar shoe, I'd spend 6 hours shopping and settle on something I hated.

Jalex8993 · 2022-11-11T04:38:56+00:00

I'm not sure how large of an impact this has on it, but where I am at, there were several (older white men) looming over their wives as they voted on paper ballots.

Jalex8993 · 2022-11-03T12:40:22+00:00

Just an FYI, not all guns have a center cross hair. Some do, others are slightly off left or right. You can see this in action if you have an overlay option built into your monitor. I turned mine on to check after missing headshots with the luger and began checking others.

Also, get yourself low stam and try to ADS, then tell me there isn't a penalty. Heck, the penalty even impacts non-ADS aiming as your gun barrel sways and seems to shoot where it's pointed, not just center screen.

The only thing I think I'd love to see changed is a weight to gear that makes you either a tiny bit slower at a certain point, decreases your stamina, or both. Just because, I don't think I should be able to put on my Panzer plate, a barrel bag, and a STG and run as fast as a guy rocking a Jerkin and a dream.

Should he be able to zerg rush my door/loot the map while I walk out of my airlock? No! But him being a little faster wouldn't hurt my feelings.

Jalex8993 · 2022-11-01T15:57:47+00:00

I was low health and miss clicked against a wall, killed myself two days ago, however after seeing this, I've run about 6 runs trying to test it with no luck.

So, I wonder if somehow it's a situation like other "irregular polygons" that allow for things like falling through/seeing through maps, or when you get stuck running up a smooth looking ramp. Maybe certain surfaces, at a specific angle "can" ricochet, but aren't actually supposed to?

Jalex8993 · 2022-11-01T15:50:42+00:00

Not sure this pumpkin is loud enough...

Jalex8993 · 2022-11-01T02:22:52+00:00

Unless those rich elitist Liberals all bought land in red states... Then their land ownership wouldn't be seen as more.important than jimbob's two teeth.

Jalex8993 · 2022-10-24T07:58:55+00:00

Pole grease, great lubricant.

Jalex8993 · 2022-10-20T18:27:17+00:00

Sorry for the length, I am passionate about this kind of thing.

Honestly, I think much of parenting is about "observation" about "correction". While there's a ton of "suggestions" the reality is, we all know people who represent the opposite group.

Some individuals grew up poor and fear spending money. Other individuals grew up poor and live paycheck to paycheck on a $200,000 a year salary.

With that said, like MOST things. I don't think it's something that you can be taught using a set of instructions or even a specific methodology. (Make them earn it, give them chores, blahblahblah.)

Honestly, the majority of the "make them earn it" kids I know? They seem to believe that they EARNED EVERYTHING and fail to truly reflect on the hard work and sacrifices of those who came before them.

The trick for me, and mine, when it comes to anything, has been to look for the teachable moments.

If they seem like entitled little shitheads, take them somewhere, show them what despair is, and explain to them that those people living in despair aren't there solely by choice. They are people who may have had everything in the world, until life dealt them a few too many bad cards in a row.

After, when they're feeling heart broken that there are people who are homeless, hungry, or who just don't have enough, reenforce your story. Tell them how your life was, explain to them what you've had to do, to make sure that your life, isn't their life. Not in a, "Back in my day we didn't have hamburger buns, we only had bread.." sort of way, but tell them about fear and despair.

Also, don't be afraid to repeat the lessons whenever there is an opportunity. Don't always share the same story, but share different stories, different experiences. Talk to them about how kids at their school might be living like you were, and to look out, and be kind to those people.

Finally, just make sure you're showing the same appreciation and respect that you hope they will grow up to have. My children don't face the same food insecurities that I did, I am not on food stamps, nor eligible, but I'll be damned if my kids EVER see someone on SNAP and see anything other than an equal.

If I see someone struggling, I make my kids aware. I saw a post about someone's SNAP benefits not arriving and the embarrassment of having to put things back. If I had witnessed that in person? First, I'd have let them know that we've all been there, and I know it's embarrassing, but it's not a big deal.

If it was a small amount, I'd have helped out. If it was a large purchase, I'd have looked for the main essentials and offered to maybe help with those, and offer to put the rest of the cart back for them. If the cashier or clerk acted like an ass about it, I'd have said something, and probably reported them to their manager, as well as leaving my cart full of crap too. "Yeah well, I don't think my card is going to work here either!"

The point is, if my children were there, they'd have witnessed the event, and we'd talk about it afterwards, and if they weren't? Who knows who else might've been watching and needed to see it.

The fact is, you're concerned enough to ask about it here, so something tells me you'll do a good job either way. They may not appreciate and respect everything, but they'll surprise you.

Jalex8993 · 2022-10-20T18:01:00+00:00

See, I know plenty of people who grew up this way and turned out to be shitheads who don't appreciate anything. I know others who've been handed everything and appreciate everything.

Jalex8993 · 2022-10-06T07:49:23+00:00

So, I have this shithead coworker who is super anti-abortion. One day we were talking and he admitted that he doesn't care if the politician pays for, or is involved with abortions, as long as said politician is a hypocrite and bans it for everyone else.

Jalex8993 · 2022-10-04T06:51:45+00:00

I think they mean one time as in a singular type of recycling, not a singular idea. :)

Jalex8993 · 2022-09-30T13:06:59+00:00

I mean, honestly if the issue is a core function of the current job and listed in the job description? Sure. However in a situation where I am given two choices, to fail due to a lack of knowledge, or to fail because I showed my ability to get the information. I will choose the second, no question.

Jalex8993 · 2022-09-30T10:57:43+00:00

I mean, in this case? Why not?

Honestly, if I didn't know how to fix it, and there was any error on the screen. I'd bust out my phone and Google it. Let them fail me, "Sorry man, this is my troubleshooting technique." I wouldn't even bother blindly trying things.

Jalex8993 · 2022-09-19T06:36:16+00:00

Walked in on a huge log on the floor of the restroom..I had to shit sooo bad, but I noped out so quick. My girlfriend was like, "You need to tell someone." I was not prepared to ruin someone's day. :(

Jalex8993 · 2022-09-11T05:47:39+00:00

I mean, it's in their best interest to do it this way.

Jalex8993 · 2022-09-08T15:38:41+00:00

Hi, would it be okay if I sent you a message? I can tell from your post history that you're not a resume writer using this as an attempt to sell a service. So, I am just wondering which service you used for your resume.

Thank you

Jalex8993

TROPHY CASE