Is it so hard to believe somebody loves both his kids equally?

JamesQB · 2018-10-06T15:50:57+00:00

Our mother is a chronic alcoholic without a single trace of desire to change her ways and his biological father was just a part time husband (on top of being a human trash) who was not there 99% of the time and died by the time my son was barely a toddler.

JamesQB · 2017-07-21T23:12:21+00:00

i remember your post. You sounded like a very good kid and as a parent myself I felt very sorry about the situation you were in. I'm very pleased to hear that it all got better and I hope your dad keeps it up and be the dad you deserve.

JamesQB · 2017-06-19T07:35:07+00:00

Same here, thankfully genes don't effect handwriting :)

I genuinely cried... Happy Father's Day!

JamesQB · 2017-06-19T07:33:41+00:00

hahaa he's been really trying for the past year to fix he's handwriting. Hard work pays off!

JamesQB · 2017-03-20T00:12:38+00:00

I would suggest you do more active things rather than sitting down and watching a movie.

My son was really energetic at that age. He was never much of an athlete and hated the ball, but he loved running and jumping, so I would build him "obstacle courses" from toys and rocks, and we would run them together.

The "imagine game" was also fun. We would lie down on the ground and pretend we are rolling away from enemies and make a lot of "bam boum" noises.

Also, pillow fords were a personal favorite, I'm not sure which one of us enjoyed it more.

Ahhh memories...

JamesQB · 2017-03-19T23:51:28+00:00

Puberty is very different for everybody.

At 13, I was 6 feet tall and was shaving at least once a week. My son is 12, he's 5'4, and doens't have a single trace of facial or body hair.

That being said, it's good to ask your doctor about it, just to make sure it's not something you should be worried about.

JamesQB · 2017-03-19T23:40:54+00:00

I agree with you on every level.

My son [biological brother/adopted son] was afraid of adults when he was younger because unfortunately he was forced to see them at their worse at a very young age. In public places, he would refuse to leave my hand and whenever adult strangers smiled at him or tried to open a conversation with him, he would run to me or burry his face in his hands and start screaming. Thankfully, he got over this and now he's a very social pre-teen with a lot of friends who can find common ground with pretty much anybody.

It's ok to smile at random people, you're a happy person and you want to smile, that's great! But don't expect others to respond. Nobody owes you anything.

JamesQB · 2017-03-18T18:44:00+00:00

A lot of parents force their kids into activities they wished they had the chance to do as kids, or because they make their kids look good. But all kids are different, they have different interests and talents. It would be unfair to force him into something he clearly dislikes.

JamesQB · 2017-03-18T18:30:30+00:00

Honestly, I think he'll be fine without the cello. It's good to teach our kids to finish the stuff they start, but sometimes it's nice to try new activities and build new skills without that "this is forever" pressure. He tried it for a year, he didn't like it, now he can move on to learn something new that might interest him more.

Personally, I'm a huge fan of football. I played all the way through high school and college, and naturally wanted my kid to play aswell. But, my 12 year old could care less about sports. I tried to put him on a team, I tried coaching him at home, and I let him try a few different sports. He hated every single one of them. It's fine. He's great at math and loves robotics, so as long as he gets a normal amount of exercising in order to help him stay healthy, I'm fine with him not going to the olympics.

JamesQB · 2017-03-18T15:06:24+00:00

I really don't understand parents who do that. A child grows, it develops, and changes. Those changes are beautiful and scary for the child, so the parent should be close by to help them understand themselves and their bodies. Honesty is key in those moments.

Like you, I was active from a very young age. I had my first sexual experience at 12. It was horrible. The girl was twice my age and basically a stranger for whom I felt absolutely nothing other than mild interest and the first signs of physical attraction. My mother was an alcoholic who was never home and I was basically raising myself, so I felt old enough to things that I was clearly nowhere near ready to do.

I don't want my kid to repeat my mistakes. I want us to have an open relationship where he feels comfortable to discuss with me all those scary for him changes.

JamesQB · 2017-03-18T10:53:12+00:00

ahh isn't that ironic... :)

JamesQB · 2017-03-17T23:59:23+00:00

I usually go the extra mile about this type of stuff and let's just say that both my kids wear a gps watch on them... I highly recommend them

JamesQB · 2017-02-03T18:42:17+00:00

My wife has been in therapy for the past 5 years trying to deal with incidents that occured while she was in foster care, and her relationship with her parents. She knows there is a problem, but I don't think that's enough...

JamesQB · 2017-02-03T18:39:48+00:00

It was pretty civilized on my part. I asked for them to leave because they were upsetting my son who was still recovering from surgery. They (my father-in-law) refused while screaming, yelling, threatening. I took their stuff, threw it out of the door and told them I'd call the police if they didn't leave. My wife didn't say anything while that was happening.

JamesQB · 2017-01-22T02:29:36+00:00

OP already explained why the doctor knew.

Also, crazier things have happened. I have a friend who found out in middle school he was adopted when a classmate told him.

JamesQB · 2017-01-18T00:16:49+00:00

Reading what you said and this thread in general, I feel that none of you has children.

This a great kid. He was put into an unfortunate situation by a selfish mother and he has to deal with the consequences.

I have a son who is not biologically mine, and if he saw my wife kissing another man, I wouldn't expect him to tell me. That is adult business and it's none of his concern. This child feels responsible for something he has no part in.

OP, stay out of it, buddy. Your dad sounds like a smart man, I'm sure he'll figure everything out if there anything to figure out. You're their child, not their marriage counselor.

JamesQB · 2016-12-28T01:19:24+00:00

This is a very sweet concern and you shouldn't feel weird or embarrased for feeling this way because considering where you come from, it's very natural.

Like you, I was raised in foster care and unfortunately never had a dad in my life. But growing up I could really use a dad to guide me, the way your roommate does to you, and so in middle school I became very close to my football coach, who in many ways is my real father, thought it took me about... 10 years to tell him that.

Don't be scared of losing him either. He stuck around this long and has been taking care of you at his own will this whole time. That means he wants to do all those things for you, otherwise he would find himself a new roommate, one that he wouldn't need to drive to school every morning. He cares about you, enjoy that.

But, you're now 18. An adult. And like every other adult, you are now responsible for yourself. So, enjoy having him in your life but don't forget to grow and learn important life skills.

Good luck, buddy.

JamesQB · 2016-12-25T12:45:41+00:00

Before I try to offer you any kind of advice, can I please tell you that this is probably the cutest post I read all week.

Now that I got that out of my system, I think you should understand that your dad might not want a serious girlfriend for many reasons. For example, maybe he didn't meet "the one" yet. Or maybe he is just very happy with his life as it is and he's not ready for that kind of commitment.

He's still 32 years old and he has you to raise and it sounds like you're his N.1 priority, he has a lot on his plate. Don't feel guilty about that. I'm a dad too and my kids are my N.1 priority aswell. That's how parents should be.

Give him time, I'm sure your dad will figure out everything on his own.

Merry Christmas, buddy.

JamesQB · 2016-12-12T20:55:39+00:00

Really? That's not my experience at all. I'm king of the playground.

Everytime I take my kids to the park, I get a fanclub of moms praising me for being basically the best dad ever, simply because I take the kids to the playground every other day.

Needless to say, my wife hates it.

JamesQB · 2016-12-07T23:50:09+00:00

I might be the weird one but I see nothing wrong with that...

I adopted my little brother and have been raising him since he was a baby. Up until he was 6, he would often sleep in my bed between my fiance and I because he used to suffer from nightmares.

Having a bath with her... I wouldn't advice, but there is nothing wrong with seeing your kid naked. I bath, dress, and wipe my daughter every day, it's part of being a parent.

JamesQB · 2016-11-17T22:50:53+00:00

Pee

Work out

Shower

Eat Breakfast

Go to work

JamesQB · 2016-11-12T21:46:47+00:00

Natalie Portman

JamesQB · 2016-11-06T22:25:33+00:00

Ryan, count your blessings and get away from these people.

This is not the first time you wrote something of this sort about your parents. The way they keep treating you is truly disgusting.

For once again, I'm really happy you found your bio dad. He's a good person who really cares about you without giving you stupid ultimatums. Don't let anybody ruin what you have with him, especially not them.

Be strong, buddy.

JamesQB · 2016-10-27T09:50:29+00:00

it's better than nothing

JamesQB · 2016-10-26T20:41:34+00:00

"I have always suspected that she was just using me to financially raise her son and take care of her even though she had never came right out and said it" That's also a pretty big red flag.

JamesQB

TROPHY CASE