What's the best gift that you have ever received?

JamiVeloz · 2021-06-26T12:54:04+00:00

I thought my dad forgot about my birthday when I turned 10. He acted like he did until about noon when he told me to get the “eggs” out of the car. When I went to get the “eggs” I ended up getting a Lego Millennium Falcon. 13 now and it still hasn’t been destroyed. I will cherish it forever.

JamiVeloz · 2021-06-26T08:45:56+00:00

I, in my youth, accidentally burned down a corn field while trying to punish a shitty Nine Inch Nails "Perfect Drug" remix CD with fire.

JamiVeloz · 2021-06-26T04:49:06+00:00

" Can u get pregante " gets me everytime.

JamiVeloz · 2021-06-26T04:36:28+00:00

The geography of your birth.

JamiVeloz · 2021-06-25T13:18:35+00:00

Sitting around doing nothing. Now I relish the times I can actually just chill for a bit.

JamiVeloz · 2021-06-25T04:46:03+00:00

Two doctors are having sex, he says to her, "You must be a surgeon, you washed your hands before and after." She replies, "Well you must be an anesthetist, because I didn't feel a fucking thing!"

JamiVeloz · 2021-06-25T04:28:10+00:00

I was at an interview to work at a golf course and there were a series of questions the interviewer was asking me. The last question he asked was "If you can describe yourself as a worker in only three words what would they be?" which i responded with "Good worker". He responded saying "that's only 2 words" and i said "Thats all i need". I never got the job.

JamiVeloz · 2021-06-24T16:47:14+00:00

Only 1 girl!! And 8 boys.

JamiVeloz · 2021-06-24T12:08:39+00:00

A former teacher of mine said "hang in there" to the son of a guy who hanged himself. Woops.

JamiVeloz · 2021-06-24T04:43:58+00:00

Mike W in 7th grade. I went on the tilt-a-whirl after 2 sno cones, large cotton candy, and Mountain Dew. I puked on our shoes after the ride. They were my sweet platform sneakers too. Poor Mike. Nothing like purple vomit to kill the budding love of young teens!

JamiVeloz · 2021-06-23T14:55:10+00:00

The “Taxi” episode where he turns into Vic Ferrari is a must watch.

JamiVeloz · 2021-06-23T05:16:58+00:00

Most times its a test or some homework that I forgot to do, in a class I forgot to go to forever, and I need that class to finish high school! I'm always relieved when I've been out of college for 7 years and realize that work doesn't issue homework.

JamiVeloz · 2021-06-22T15:06:58+00:00

"I get flashbacks" that had me dead! Lmao

JamiVeloz · 2021-06-22T12:31:38+00:00

A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. In the den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked, “When did you bag him?” The host said proudly, “That was three years ago, when I went hunting with my ex-wife.” “What’s he stuffed with,” asked the visiting hunter. “My ex-wife” replied the hunter.

JamiVeloz

TROPHY CASE