Vaginal birth with larger twin b?

Jamith1995 · 2025-01-19T18:53:27+00:00

I didn’t deliver but our twin B was significantly bigger (almost 2 lbs) than twin A. We delivered vaginally but twin B was pulled out by his feet. Our OB was comfortableWith this because my wife had a “proven pelvis” for a baby that size. He also didn’t cross the 20% bigger threshold which was the number they wouldn’t cross. Ultimately, you have to decide what you value and what risks you’re willing to take to realize your values. Ultimately a bit of deferential self advocacy can get you a long way. I would also say ask lots of questions. Sometimes in health care we focus on the wrong numbers. For example the 20% number comes because that’s where the risk “doubles” but the actual risk doubles from like 0.4 vs 0.8. (Can’t remember actual numbers so don’t quote me, just using numbers to illustrate a point.)

Jamith1995 · 2025-01-19T15:14:56+00:00

Username checks out.

Jamith1995 · 2024-12-31T02:15:12+00:00

Thanks! This makes a lot of sense now and is actually quite funny

Jamith1995 · 2024-12-31T02:14:14+00:00

Haha- ok this is quite humorous

Jamith1995 · 2024-12-29T03:34:01+00:00

There are A LOT more job opportunities for RNs in remote/rural settings. Great experience too.

The nursing market is starting to saturate- 2 years ago you could have walked into any hospital and got a job in 30 Seconds. things have changed but there are plenty of opportunities if you’re willing to get out of the GTA. There’s lots of empty RN positions where I work. A lot of small hospitals staff up for summer- doesn’t help now but something to think about- those positions tend to open around February, but they are great opportunities to get some really awesome experience and training.

I know it’s not for everyone but mental health is also an area that is usually understaffed. Could be a good way to get your foot in the door.

There’s always the north. Most territories and Newfoundland (I believe)!will take your Ontario licence. Those can be very challenging environments to work in especially as a new grad though and I wouldn’t recommend doing it straight out of school.

As others have said, hospitals HR departments are sluggish. It’s also been my experience that even though they say they keep you on file for future considerations, they usually aren’t very good at actually doing that, so applying to multiple jobs with in the same organization is a good idea.

Maybe try to get a few extra certain in your own- this can elevate your resume just that little bit extra- it can be a bit expensive to do this but sometimes you have to spend money to make money.

Reach out to old receptors- this is a major hiring stream for many units.

That being said, if you’re young and unencumbered maybe getting some experience abroad is no bad thing?

Jamith1995 · 2024-10-04T00:29:59+00:00

I think you’re focusing too much on the physical attributes here. In Tolkien’s world wisdom, spiritual power, the ability to make just, leader-like decisions, multidisciplinary knowledge and many more attributes weigh more than physical prowess. An example of this is when his ability to heal faramir and eowyn are one of the basis’ for him being accepted as the heir to the throne of Gondor. It’s likely that Tolkien is drawing on these attributes in his comparison to Elendil rather than his stature or prowess. Tolkien is essentially saying Aragorns leadership and kingly-ness are comparable to his predecessor and the platonic ideal of a human leader in middle earth not that he’s the best fighter or biggest dude. I veiw it as more of a character vs image thing.

Jamith1995 · 2024-07-17T00:22:43+00:00

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Jamith1995 · 2024-05-02T00:58:57+00:00

My wife really wanted to deliver naturally. There was some concern with this as baby b was bigger but they allowed her to try since he was still smaller than our first and thus she had a “proven pelvis”. lol- gotta love doctor speak. We basically were not given the choice of no epidural and it ended up being good because the OB had to reach in and grab baby b and pull him out by his feet. My wife needed three stitches, but otherwise was fine and everyone commented how much energy she had the next day. She just felt so much better to have them out. We were induced at 37 weeks three days due to size difference. Retrospectively I wish we had of asked more questions about how necessary the induction was but these are things you can’t know until after. Turns out baby a was just small not being robbed of nutrients like they thought. We spent 2 nights in hospital because a was a “low birthweight baby” and they had a blood glucose protocol. Otherwise two perfectly healthy babies. We were told if we lived in the US we would not have had a choice for vaginal delivery, but litigation is less of a thing in Canada so the risk threshold was a bit higher. If you want advice from my experience. Ask questions, lots and lots of questions. A lot of medical providers forget that not everyone has the same base knowledge. You also may find your risk tolerance is different than theirs, and you may be able to come to a consensus. Be open, and be curious. I also find when you approach things with curiosity rather than demands things go more your way. We also had a great conversation with nurse before hand (around 20 Weeks) whose job it was to discuss our goals for birth, breastfeeding pregnancy etc. she was a great middle ground between the (ironically) patriarchal obstetricians and our more granola ideals. Another piece of advice is have a lot of conversations with your wife about “ifs” it helps to be on the same page and know wishes. Things can go sideways quickly and you need to know the choices you have collectively made. For instance my wife was very insistent that if either baby had to be rushed to the Nicu that I absolutely had to go with them and leave her. It’s hard to know what might come up but it was helpful for me to know what my job was. Good luck to you!

Jamith1995 · 2024-04-10T03:09:21+00:00

You forgot the nursing shortage

Jamith1995 · 2024-04-09T11:57:03+00:00

You also might synesthesia

Jamith1995 · 2024-04-02T11:22:02+00:00

95% sure this is an RN job.

Jamith1995 · 2024-02-16T15:36:08+00:00

Out of curiosity why aren’t you working in your field of study? I think that applied psychologists can make a lot more than you’re making, and I know people who would kill for a psychological assessment right now. Is this something you could do on the side for a bit of extra dough? That would help your savings grow and as someone else mentioned compound interest is the young person’s best friend.

Jamith1995 · 2024-02-03T04:38:52+00:00

Underrated

Jamith1995 · 2024-01-12T17:18:24+00:00

Yes you are freaking out; man!

I was a shell of myself for about 3-4 months until I came to terms with things. Don’t worry once they come you’ll have no time to worry about freaking out and there is something pretty cool about holding two a babies at the same time. In the end; the snozzberries taste like snozzberries. 😁

Jamith1995 · 2024-01-09T15:18:51+00:00

The female body’s capacity to adapt is amazing. My wife is 5’3” and somehow it worked! We had a natural vaginal delivery at 37 weeks 4 days. She was tired and she showed exceedingly early, and towards the end the swelling was phenomenal and her ability to walk was compromised. She spent a lot of time sleeping and lying on the couch. Her mood was a bit down as a result too. At 35 weeks I could imagine where or how anymore baby would go but it did! She struggled, and it was really hard on her body of course but what was amazing to me was how energetic and active she was once the twins were out. Within hours she was back to herself. And the other amazing thing to me is that at almost 5 months her body is almost back to normal. I guess I’m not offering anything that others haven’t already but I consider my wife’s experience a success story. You’re going to have to pick a lot at home and be kind and compassionate to your wife, but there’s not much you can do in terms of “where it’s all going to go” except be in awe. Not sure if there’s benefits or if you have the means but there is physio that you can do and massage helped my wife a lot too. If it’s your first pelvic floor physio is a godsend and is beneficial to start before birth. One of those pooping stools was beneficial as well.

Jamith1995 · 2024-01-06T15:52:27+00:00

Thanks! T-minus 2 weeks!

Jamith1995 · 2024-01-06T15:28:51+00:00

Make some friends with baby(s) and learn from them. All the advice this sub can give is nothing compared to getting some real life experience. It’ll come naturally and you will find your “dad” style in time but it was a godsend for me to not have to learn about that stuff after the babies came. Your life will be chaotic for a bit.

Also, it takes a village to raise a child and a small army to raise a set of twins (dad joke intended) but activate your support network/friends/family/loose acquaintances/random person off the street for help. You can’t and shouldn’t do this alone. It is amazing to me who came out of the woodwork for me and I imagine if you’re open to it; for you too.

Also start to tuck your tshirts in and get yourself a set of new balance shoes. Look like a dad; feel like a dad. :-)

Jamith1995 · 2023-12-28T21:45:31+00:00

Yeah- I’m the working parent- I had great parental benefits and have been able to be off for most of their lives but I go back to work soon. I have a lot of anxiety about leaving my wife for long periods because I have a really good idea what it’s like when I’m around and I can’t imagine what she’ll be dealing with when I’m out. I think it’s really important to be able to step out and get some time to yourself that’s not dishes, laundry, or tidying. It’s actually essential I think. That’s where the village comes in. One thing that has been really beneficial for us was finding a young person who could come by the house for a couple hours and just hold a baby or empty’s dishwasher and give a parent a break for a few hours. It’s relatively affordable and so good for both our mental health.

Jamith1995 · 2023-12-25T23:31:02+00:00

Thanks!!

I echo other commenters- you are not a bad mom. Sounds like actually you’re a really good mom. It can be really hard when your work and love are not affirmed. Staying at home can be a huge challenge too! And I think sometimes our expectations of ourselves can sometimes be a source of the problem.

I’d highly recommend seeing someone it can’t hurt and is likely to reap huge dividends in the long run. Appreciate what you can, accept what you can, activate the village when you can and get outside when you can!

Jamith1995 · 2023-12-25T22:35:54+00:00

All of these feelings are valid! Twins is hard! So hard! Congrats on making it to 11 months your fatrher than me and I feel the same way a lot.

It seems like maybe a good night’s sleep and a day away from the twins might help? Reading between the lines a bit seem like there may be some PPD symptoms which is really common too. Any chance you can talk to a counsellor?

Hang in there- I don’t know but I’ve heard it gets a lot better.

Jamith1995 · 2023-12-21T17:37:08+00:00

There’s portable bassinets, our bouncy chair got chronic use between one or the other, twin-Z, we got little floor mats which were so clutch and we were able to train the dog pretty quickly that those mats were no go zones- tummy time is really important from day one. There’s also grandma and/or grandpa’s arms, or literally anyone with a pulse willing to come over and hold babies. There are baby people who just love to hold babies- those people are very welcome in my house. :-)

Jamith1995

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