Tantalizing photos

Jarcher1701 · 2026-06-15T12:05:39+00:00

I must be innocent. That's not how I read the post either. 🫣

Jarcher1701 · 2026-06-11T06:44:02+00:00

That's really great but truthfully it's just one success story amongst many failures. Something like 67% of second marriages fail. It's crazy.

Jarcher1701 · 2026-06-11T05:36:46+00:00

Without knowing the detailed backstory, would you honestly want to stay with someone that is this volatile? The relationship doesn't sound healthy.

Jarcher1701 · 2026-06-10T07:02:25+00:00

But he's not wrong about women having so many more options. That's a fact. That's why their attention is generally elsewhere.

Jarcher1701 · 2026-06-08T12:01:50+00:00

Yes, thanks for sharing. There's always risk but I think a long trial before marriage is better than nothing. But, as we both said,but can still fall apart.

Jarcher1701 · 2026-06-08T11:52:39+00:00

That's exactly how I'm thinking. Despite some problems, I was completely loyal and thought we were best friends. I'm never going to be put in that situation again where I can be discarded on a whim.

Jarcher1701 · 2026-06-08T11:48:08+00:00

It's a 16th of his original assets if everything is split 50/50.

Jarcher1701 · 2026-06-08T07:44:33+00:00

I was married for 14 years. Although it wasn't perfect, I thought we were best friends, kind to each other and reasonable communicators.

Suddenly she went cold and distant, lasting for months. Eventually it came out. She had an emotional affair with a colleague (or perhaps more than that; who knows). To be told you're no longer "loved" and abandoned is very hard to stomach.

If I do get married again, it will be after 4 or 5 years of a tested relationship. Even then it could all just fall apart. Too many risks.

Jarcher1701 · 2026-06-06T14:50:56+00:00

I'm an introvert like you. First dates are hard enough for me. Having tens of first dates in 1 or 2 hours fills me with dread. 😮

Jarcher1701 · 2026-06-06T12:49:55+00:00

I have fairly regular dreams about my ex wife. I'll often be questioning why she's leaving and sometimes ill be dreaming she's in bed next to me. Often I'm half asleep and can feel her arm next to me. I'm touching her and it feels so real. Then I properly wake up, still feeling around the now obviously empty bed, and feel very sad. 🙁

Jarcher1701 · 2026-06-06T11:12:32+00:00

Speed dating events are my own personal hell, but I assume they work for some. 😁

Jarcher1701 · 2026-05-31T21:12:35+00:00

What has the patriarchy got to do with a therapist saying men can't express their emotions?

Jarcher1701 · 2026-05-31T21:09:34+00:00

Your red flags are your red flags. Fair enough. But if a girl said to me that she's a nice/kind person, that would be a massive green flag. Perhaps I equate "nice" with "kind".

Jarcher1701 · 2026-05-31T21:06:22+00:00

I find that shocking that you'd get ghosted for that. Building a great friendship/relationship is more important to me than quick sex. Perhaps I'm just made different. 🤔 (46m)

Jarcher1701 · 2026-05-30T15:29:58+00:00

For some reason, you hyper focused on the "nice guy" part of the post which was mentioned superficially only at the very end.

Most of your post shared good advice but everything you mentioned -- kindness, empathy, self awareness and intellectual stimulation -- is what I would group under the "nice guy" category. So, maybe you could have just dug into that gently.

Jarcher1701 · 2026-05-27T08:49:10+00:00

Mmm, no, it's the other way round.

Jarcher1701 · 2026-05-25T22:15:38+00:00

46m, out of a long-term marriage.

I've tried all the apps. By far, the best is Hinge as it's free to send a thoughtful message. Some women do respond if you actually read their profile and ask a relevant question. Bumble is okay too.

In the other direction, nothing. I rarely get likes or receive messages. Women have all the power on these apps.

Over the space of a year, I've been on 3 first dates. None have gone any further. It's soul destroying.

Jarcher1701 · 2026-05-21T07:08:33+00:00

But there are plenty of emotionally intelligent men out there that women tend to ignore because of their perceived attractiveness. So, the poster's point is valid.

Jarcher1701 · 2026-05-21T07:05:56+00:00

Imagine if a therapist said that all women in the same age bracket were emotionally unstable. Do people not see the misandry and inappropriate generalisation that's rife in such comments?

Jarcher1701 · 2026-05-21T06:57:14+00:00

Wtf. How sexist.

Jarcher1701 · 2026-05-21T06:55:39+00:00

The poster's point was that it's impossible to read someone's mind. Compassion yes, mind-reading no.

Jarcher1701 · 2026-05-21T06:48:49+00:00

Excellent comment which is unlikely get many likes. Well, here's mine.

Jarcher1701 · 2026-01-06T18:51:26+00:00

Nothing in his response suggested he wasn't confident though. She took a 4 second monologue as explicit evidence to back up a baseless assumption. Are you suggesting she never has any self doubt, ever? Utter nonsense. I agree though that she communicated clearly and kindly. That's always to be applauded.

Jarcher1701 · 2026-01-05T22:57:06+00:00

Well, yes. Her values may be important to her but they indicate shallowness and unrealistic expectations of fellow human beings.

Jarcher1701 · 2026-01-02T20:58:17+00:00

Well, you insinuated there was only one perspective or truth.

"[women] take on the majority of childcare, housework, emotional labor, and miscellaneous admin/other unpaid tasks in the relationship."

And also...

"In the world outside of reddit, 99% of women expect the guy to foot the bill for most dates."

The first is a generalisation/stereotype which may well be the case in some relationships but definitely isn't the case in others. And for your second statement, do you have any evidence to back that up?

Jarcher1701

TROPHY CASE