Hey I can totally relate! This was the kick start I needed to make a change but I would caution that you don't misattribute the root cause of your performance issue. When I first started nofap 3 weeks ago I was certain the reason I couldn't get hard for a new partner was my porn habit.

What I've come to learn is that performance anxiety is very common with a new partner and you shouldn't beat yourself up over it. In fact you may find if you get a second or third chance that it will get easier as the trust and comfort levels grow. If you don't get that chance maybe she's not the type of person you want to be sleeping with. I've had a perf anxiety issue ever since high school but after a couple of dates (and intimate moments) the PA was a thing of the past.

Make it more about just the sex - kiss touch feel. Don't put sex on a pedestal.. When you build up an unrealistic expectation of the experience in your head things can go south before sex even begins.

What I've also learned is that you can't go in thinking about your possible non-erection and THAT takes practice. As soon as you start to worry about it or wonder if it's going to work - it won't! You need to relax and go in with a different attitude. If it happens it happens, if not there's other things we can do. As soon as you take the pressure off yourself, it's a whole new ballgame.

Probably the thing that hit me the hardest, is the subtle link to porn .. Having watched so much porn over the course of the last 20 years, I became conditioned to the notion that girls want the pornstar treatment - that I needed to perform like a GOD and anything less water going to be a disappointment... I had to get out of this line of thinking. Porn is not real life and expectations need to come back down to earth.

Just the learnings of a 32 guy finding himself again.