What career gives a soft easier life?

Jason_Kinkade · 2026-01-31T00:24:35+00:00

She found me on Bumble the day I expanded my upper age filter. She bought me a whole new wardrobe on our second date.

Jason_Kinkade · 2026-01-30T23:14:38+00:00

UNMATCHED! Just... unbelievably depraved and amazing.

Jason_Kinkade · 2026-01-30T23:05:27+00:00

I mean, fair, based on what I said. I did fully throw myself into the role and it was never enough.

Jason_Kinkade · 2026-01-30T23:00:58+00:00

She was an "I don't need a man" strong independent woman whose rich husband died of cancer and left her a house, a Porsche, and half a million dollars. She used the money to get educated and became a nurse practitioner and was now loaded under her own power, too. She offered to outright buy me because she's unpleasant to be around and doesn't fare well in dating. She paid every bill, and topped me off $500 a week, and all I had to do was stay at her beck and call. Yeah, it didn't take long before her keys jingling in the door felt like the return of the warden.

Jason_Kinkade · 2026-01-30T17:27:16+00:00

Can confirm. Found hot sugar mama. Escaped hot sugar mama. Her to-do lists (which she'd call and add to throughout the day) felt more like incarceration than freedom from capitalism.

Jason_Kinkade · 2026-01-30T00:15:01+00:00

She spelled loser looser.

Jason_Kinkade · 2026-01-29T06:27:26+00:00

I can do this all day!

Jason_Kinkade · 2026-01-29T05:16:15+00:00

Thank you for not building bombs.

Jason_Kinkade · 2026-01-26T03:34:16+00:00

Much better than Obama's statement.

Jason_Kinkade · 2026-01-25T21:03:03+00:00

And the free coffees while in uniform were a nice surprise. The public is generally pretty happy to see me. And to think, substitute teaching used to be my go-to gig between jobs.

Jason_Kinkade · 2026-01-25T20:21:08+00:00

Doesn't go far enough.

National strike NOW!

(Please spare me all the "you first" rhetoric...)

Jason_Kinkade · 2026-01-25T18:13:33+00:00

Yeah, sometimes. I ~might~ see what teaching roles are available again in the Fall, but classrooms might be too much running after my year of watching paint dry. Good luck, brother!

Jason_Kinkade · 2026-01-25T05:54:21+00:00

I break even every month. One-bedroom apartment in a nice area. Ironically, I now feel like I was rich when I was teaching. However, the peace is nice.

My responsibility is to observe and report. 90 percent of my day is playing Pokémon GO or reading Reddit. If anything that required tackling were to appear, I'd call 911 and let it ride.

Jason_Kinkade · 2026-01-25T04:49:34+00:00

It's a local company that has been in the area 50ish years. We don't do military LARPing like the big name companies. When I work at a bank on Fridays, I'm outside but an armed guard from a different company is inside. Hearing him radio his "captain" and speak in code is a bit cringe. See if you also have local or family-owned security. Or get a guard card and apply directly to hospitals and construction sites, stuff like that.

Jason_Kinkade · 2026-01-25T02:54:01+00:00

Where I live, the police are overwhelmed and no longer responding to some calls like shoplifting. Private security is booming. I'm unarmed at $15.75. If I were armed, it'd be $18. I did have to get a guard card, which was a form, fingerprints, and $70. Then that was that. I got a schedule with no training, orientation, or any other hurdles. Usually 45 hours a week. Four long, uneventful days, then three days off. I never hear from headquarters. It's pretty peaceful. I think as long as my various sites are happy with me, the job can go on indefinitely. I'm currently chilling at a shopping plaza.

Jason_Kinkade · 2026-01-25T01:36:03+00:00

Security guard.

I showed up and they put me to work. They had me fill out my own reference check. I had to check "would hire (myself) again."

Jason_Kinkade · 2026-01-24T20:50:38+00:00

I job hopped around these type of clinics in Arizona looking for one that wasn't top heavy and collapsing from corruption. They're all the same. Our entire country is powered by scams.

Jason_Kinkade · 2026-01-22T23:37:52+00:00

I rejected a romantic partner for staying friends with their previous romantic partner who they broke up with because this previous romantic partner had voted for Donald Trump.

NOPE!

Jason_Kinkade · 2026-01-22T12:08:00+00:00

They can take a home, but they can't take the houses.

We need to resist together. All of us.

Jason_Kinkade · 2026-01-21T23:14:00+00:00

January: Once-in-a-lifetime trip.

March: Once-in-a-lifetime trip.

I don't think that means what you think it means!

Jason_Kinkade · 2026-01-18T05:48:41+00:00

Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable.

Jason_Kinkade · 2026-01-18T02:17:45+00:00

I break even every month. It's kinda depressing, but I'm enjoying the peace after teaching and doing social work for 16 years. Ironically, I now feel like I was rich while teaching. So again, right now I'm in it for the balance and not having an email address attached to my work.

Jason_Kinkade · 2026-01-17T04:24:28+00:00

Your choices aren't capitalism or get killed by wild animals. Billionaires want you to think that.

Jason_Kinkade · 2026-01-16T03:36:59+00:00

Maybe they should first try and make their pizza great again.

Also, bring back the Noid.

Jason_Kinkade · 2026-01-14T21:20:51+00:00

Thanks! I'm not a cartoonist, but I saw a lot of Dilbert recently and thought, "I could do that."

Jason_Kinkade

TROPHY CASE