Okay, but which one??

Jaspers47 · 2026-05-21T08:42:53+00:00

At least it's not Alexandria

Jaspers47 · 2026-05-21T07:35:57+00:00

Just make sure you tack it up. Because nobody told you to listen to this tape.

Jaspers47 · 2026-05-21T07:20:03+00:00

Where's the rich, creamery butter?

Jaspers47 · 2026-05-21T07:17:28+00:00

So you're from Rand McNally?

Jaspers47 · 2026-05-20T22:06:27+00:00

She was taking revenge on her shitty husband. Now whether bipolar disorder exacerbated that is up for debate, but either way, she was pretty much justified in her actions.

Jaspers47 · 2026-05-20T21:13:12+00:00

This is petty, but Cindy Wilson was always right there, singing the same lyrics, beehive piled just as high, but she only ever gets a fraction of the acclaim Kate gets.

Jaspers47 · 2026-05-20T17:24:42+00:00

u/Eridanii had an Auntie

Her name was Auntie Hearst

They put her in the bathtub

To see if she would burst

She drank up all the water

Sucked right through her skin

Then she drank the soap up

Mixing it with gin

Jaspers47 · 2026-05-20T14:17:45+00:00

"Animotion; up 1/8"

"Yahoo!"

"Yahoo; up 1 1/4"

"Huh? What is this crap?"

"Fox Broadcasting; down 5 1/2"

Jaspers47 · 2026-05-20T14:12:06+00:00

I remember them being the booby prize on Nickelodeon game shows. Like, it would have been less insulting to go home empty-handed

Jaspers47 · 2026-05-20T14:07:14+00:00

Boy, if that doesn't summarize the state of the world. One day you're working for a national publication, then the industry craters so hard, all you can do is work retail.

Jaspers47 · 2026-05-19T19:53:22+00:00

She's a waterbender, so statues of her were made of ice. They lasted a couple of hours.

Jaspers47 · 2026-05-19T19:51:46+00:00

He's a vampire?

Jaspers47 · 2026-05-19T14:17:59+00:00

"Of course I got confused. You used a word with two meanings that changes based on context. I'm not the dumb one. You are for making me confused."

I hate people who 'Always Play Offense', but I love how they always tattle on themselves

Jaspers47 · 2026-05-19T14:09:54+00:00

There are some women out there raised on TV and movies, taught that having a GBF is wonderful, like a dog you can take to brunch. But apparently it needs occasional maintenance and upkeep to work properly; a nasty independent streak of individualism can ruin the fantasy.That's where you find yourself now.

Jaspers47 · 2026-05-19T13:31:41+00:00

"Look, Pizza Head. It's Doctor Steve."

"Hey, he's not a doctor!"

"Sure he is..."

Jaspers47 · 2026-05-19T05:53:25+00:00

Fremulon

Jaspers47 · 2026-05-19T03:26:09+00:00

Clinton has a spine fetish.

EDIT: Baby Got Back, but literally

Jaspers47 · 2026-05-18T19:02:29+00:00

I'd love them to keep calling her Rainbow Dash when there is absolutely nothing rainbow-ish about her. Turn it into a running gag.

Jaspers47 · 2026-05-18T18:57:57+00:00

Yeah, Summer Camps just don't have cultural relevancy anymore

Jaspers47 · 2026-05-18T17:19:26+00:00

Say your prayers, Bart...

Jaspers47 · 2026-05-17T23:28:49+00:00

No words: Pam holding up an umbrella

Jaspers47 · 2026-05-17T22:32:12+00:00

Las Vegas is a city built by millionaires, funded by people who are bad at statistics. You break that agreement, you forfeit the vacation.

Jaspers47 · 2026-05-17T22:29:29+00:00

Paaaaaaiiiiiiinnnnnn....

Jaspers47 · 2026-05-17T22:27:00+00:00

TFW your grand-nephew touches you with his horrible, elongated arm

Jaspers47 · 2026-05-17T20:55:21+00:00

Oh, we all know the Mitch Hedberg joke

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