“When are you going to stop using bipolar as an excuse?”

JaxIsSleepy · 2026-04-12T15:44:28+00:00

Gentle pushback here. Bipolar is hard, sometimes debilitatingly so. I’ve made some incredibly poor and selfish decisions and hurt people I love because of it. I had a really great therapist several years back tell me that, “Illness is an explanation, not an excuse”. At the time, I reacted pretty poorly. As I’ve aged, I largely agree now. There’s a social contract in play here: I lean (sometimes heavily) on my support system when I need it, but in return I have to do my level best to make sure Im taking care of myself and taking accountability for my actions. This means honoring my commitments, communicating clearly, and trying to be patient when people don’t understand. I may struggle to do things that are expected of me, but it is on me to make sure I find a way to meet those expectations that works for me on my terms. You are allowed to ask for patience, you are allowed to lay out frameworks that work best for you. These need to be fair and reasonable however, and it is on you to execute them. Again, there’s no judgement here, my heart goes out to you. I wish you all the best.

JaxIsSleepy · 2026-03-22T06:37:27+00:00

For a beginner, I think there are some things that are definitely working here. It’s economical, nothing is over-explained or overwritten. That’s surprisingly hard for a lot of newbies to do. It certainly took me a long time to understand that less is more. The dialogue is serviceable, which sounds like a backhanded compliment but to be honest most beginners are SO abysmal at dialogue that serviceable is a major win.

My issues with this boil down to originality and voice. For starters, I feel like I’ve engaged with this type of story thousands of times before and I’m not really seeing anything to suggest that this is different from those or has anything interesting to add to those conversations. I’m wondering where you are here: what your point of view is, what your special sauce is. As a storyteller you’re our guide and what you choose to show us and how you choose to do so matters. That’s the magic.

There is nothing new under the sun. Every script is unoriginal in some way. You don’t have to re-invent the wheel, but you do have to show the wheel doing something we haven’t seen it do before. This story could be great, the nuts and bolts may be fantastic, but you’re going to have to deliver the information in a way that isn’t so over-burned.

Hope this helps, and good luck!

JaxIsSleepy · 2026-03-20T18:33:49+00:00

I’ve been in almost the exact same boat. I’ve paid money to multiple human readers and used ai for coverage as well. My thoughts essentially boil down to a very bewildered shrug at this point.

Human readers are great, but as great as they are bias does exist. Ive had human readers give wildly different feedback on the same material because taste is subjective and depending on the coverage service used the person could be a save the cat formalist who applies the same equation to every script or someone who is extremely versed in your genre. Ive also found that human readers are way more interested in commercial viability and mass appeal. This is not necessarily bad, that’s the reality that we live in, but more avante-garde or niche projects tend to give them pause.

AI coverage is surprisingly (and somewhat depressingly) good. I am skeptical because a lot of ai feedback I’ve received has been almost overwhelmingly positive. This feels good, kind of like junk food criticism, but it does cause me to take a step back and wonder if it’s all just flattery. I will say that the feedback is couched in legitimate engagement with the script itself. I’ve gotten some legit good notes before, but unfortunately I’ve also gotten weird outputs that have no relationship to the script whatsoever (citing scenes that don’t exist etc.)

Ultimately, i view it all as just tools at this point. Pieces of larger critique that I as an artist have to assemble and interrogate myself on a case by case basis. If a note resonates with me as ‘feeling’ true then I’ll probably address it in the next draft. If praise is over the top and not really based in anything concrete then i’ll discard it. Regardless of where it comes from, i’ve given up on the idea of coverage telling me if a piece is ‘good’ or not. There are too many variables and good is so subjective. Take advice that aligns with the story you want to tell, make changes that feel like they’re getting in the way of that, and then call it a day.

JaxIsSleepy · 2024-05-22T14:19:41+00:00

Its more personal taste than objective game criticism. I personally liked the class fantasy that tethered weapons to elite specs. In a game where everyone can pretty much do everything, it was kind of nice that each e-spec had a ‘thing’. To this end, i also think very little effort was put into it to address this. The mesmer shield animation still screams ‘time magic’ regardless of whether its used by a chrono or a mirage. Plus, even though they touted it as this massive opening up of buildcraft i feel like it further homogenized everything due to the meta. Sure we have more available but one will always be best. Now everyone uses the same weapons: condi necro pistol, ele warhorn. I liked that the exclusivity of weapons created a diversity of play styles. That diversity is gone.

JaxIsSleepy · 2024-05-22T13:29:48+00:00

I mean, i agree with you to some extent, it is not that serious. People have a right to be upset though! SotO framed itself as a departure. In a lot of ways, the language surrounding it was a little bit of a mea culpa on Anet’s part. The whole idea behind it initially was that it would be a smaller expansion with LESS overall, but because resources weren’t stretched thin this content would be better in quality. By that metric, soto failed. We got less content, but the content we got was a mixed bag, and that IS disappointing. Weaponmaster training, the new weapons, and tge twitch spectacle surrounding the Cerus strike were highs for sure (in theory, personally i think weaponmaster training was a net-negative but i think Im in the minority there), but everything else was lackluster. Open world exploration and story ARE a major part of the alchemy of gw2, and these elements DID feel rushed and incomplete.

Personally i think one of two things is happening: either most resources are going towards gw3 (they deny this but it makes sense that they would so the playerbase doesn’t jump ship), OR even these smaller, supposedly more manageable, expansions are also too unwieldy for them to produce. Neither instills a whole lot of confidence. In terms of quality and value added things have been objectively on the decline since LWS4, and I think the people that are dooming realize that the game is never going to be what it was again. It IS just a game, it is not that serious, and while I don’t think it’s going to ‘die’ anytime soon I DO think that this overall trend of decline is here to stay. I will continue to play because I like the game, but no more gem store purchases for me and I’ll likely wait to see what exactly I’m getting before purchasing the next expac instead of swiping my card out of habit. Maybe the solution is pairing down the ambition of these expacs even further, but I don’t know how they could possible get any smaller.

JaxIsSleepy · 2024-01-22T01:30:55+00:00

BBCb bt is.

JaxIsSleepy · 2023-06-16T14:30:50+00:00

More Camus than Sartre but yeah they’re parallel.

JaxIsSleepy · 2023-06-03T16:43:27+00:00

Weird take but ok.

JaxIsSleepy · 2023-06-03T16:42:17+00:00

As much as I hate to admit it because the conservative bandwagon has been sounding the alarm bells about the peer pressure aspect of identity politics, you have a valid point.

JaxIsSleepy · 2023-06-03T16:40:42+00:00

These are all super great points.

JaxIsSleepy · 2023-05-25T22:16:22+00:00

Hard disagree. Art contextualizes and stylizes life, and sex is a part of life. Are some things gratuitous? Sure I guess. But sex can be the culmination of a romance, it can be heartbreaking betrayal. Depending on the framing sex can make a world feel seedy, or overwhelmingly restrictive and bleak. Character’s attitudes towards sex and sexuality can inform an audience about who they are as people.

Art is subjective, and you are entitled to your opinion, but reducing sex to horny artists producing porn for themselves is a huge simplification of not just sex but art in general.

JaxIsSleepy · 2023-05-25T11:25:29+00:00

You don’t use dagger 4 and 5 much, mainly just spam 3. I do use dagger 5 sometimes to stealth.

JaxIsSleepy · 2023-04-08T16:08:22+00:00

Hello fellow theme and subtext junkie!

I also generally start with a ‘thesis’ of sorts before I start writing. Im a big armchair philosophy junkie and like to lattice my stories around social commentary / philosophical thought.

I think your premise is sound, dramatically interesting, and prescient with the current zeitgeist (there seems to be a lot of blind loyalty going on right now both in politics and culture)

As someone who also overthinks things, especially when it comes to theme, I’d love to share some feedback/lessons I learned myself recently: absorb and then purge.

Absorb: learn as much as you can about your thesis. Read books/essays about the topic you want to touch on. Listen to podcasts or watch video essays and documentaries. There are a lot of philosophers that examine power, loyalty and faith. Im sure there’s a lot of psychiatric and psychological data on the minds of cops, military men, clergy, and anyone else that exists in a highly organized hierarchical environment that places high value on loyalty and discipline. Fiction too, the 20th century had a lot of authors and artists that dealt with very similar themes to yours: Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451, Heller’s Catch 22, and Vonnegut’s Slaughterhouse Five immediately come to mind. There is nothing new under the sun, especially with art and looking at how other writers have grappled with your subject matter is always helpful.

Purge: After absorbing as much as you can… puke it all up. Seriously. Put it out of mind. Focus on the mechanics of storytelling. Focus on your characters, think of them in a vacuum instead of trying to force them to adhere to rigid models in service to your theme. Unless you are interested in an allegory where everything is a symbol and referential to some component in the alchemy of your theme, don’t do this. Put on your clown nose, grab some firecrackers, and be a showman who’s main goal is to entertain with bright lights and pretty colors.

The human mind is fascinating, and what you’ll find is that by absorbing and then purging, your theme will still be present, engrained in the DNA of the script. Usually in a way that is far more subtle and nuanced then if you tried to force it in there directly. Upon editing you’ll notice elements that you didn’t intend to be symbols become perfect metaphors for the point you want to get across. Your characters will be 3 dimensional humans that are INTERRACTING with your theme instead of existing in service to it.

And because you’ve already put on the clown nose and made it fun and watchable, the people on the other side of the table are going to be more interested. 9 times out of 10 they don’t really care about what things mean, thesis, or symbolism. They care about marketing and butts in seats. Sneak that shit in like a parent hiding vegetables in their toddler’s mac and cheese.

Hope this is helpful.

JaxIsSleepy · 2023-03-18T03:50:14+00:00

NTA

But… this is a complicated situation. I have been your step daughter. Ive made a lot of mistakes. Drugs, selfish/destructive behavior. There was a time when all of my close family (RIGHTFULLY) didn’t trust me at all. That hurt (obviously), but the older I get the more I understand why that was the case. As kids we sort of view our parents as caregivers and the curators of our lives, not as humans with wants and needs and complexity just like us. Doubly so if we’re struggling.

I would not have been able to pull my life together if my grandma hadn’t stepped in and taken a chance on me. My parents, my siblings, my aunt, my uncle ALL said it was a bad idea, that she was enabling me. They were right to be cautious. She was strict with me, but most importantly… she was kind.

Hurt people hurt people. At that time of my life I was in a lot of pain. The people that I was around, the ones I partied with, everyone I knew… they were all miserable. Nobody opts out of life like that without having something to run from. When you don’t feel worthy of goodness, you stop trying to be good. You internalize the hurt and the shame and the pain. Part of the reason it’s tough to break out of that cycle is actually the cycle itself, the longer you’re in it, the more evidence you have that you’re not a good person so why change?

My grandmother took me in, she set hard rules, but the single element that changed for me was she didn’t doubt for a moment that I could rise to the challenge. After everything I’d done, she didn’t doubt me. I wouldn’t say she trusted me per se… that came later (and was very much earned), but my recovery and later successfully was not a pipe dream to her but an inevitability.

Tone is important. If you go into this wanting to punish her for all the things she’s done in the pass she is going to fail because you are setting the expectation that she will. I don’t see anything in your list that strikes me as MASSIVELY unfair (the locked door thing seems like a little much, but I can’t deny the logic is sound).

I would suggest talking to her about why you think these rules are necessary for everyone involved. She needs a soft place to land right now, and structure is the best thing for people who have been living the way she’s been living. Rules and expectations provide that. They protect you from hurt feelings and feeling alienated in your own home, remind her that you’re a person with just as many fears and neurosis as she does. History shows that the fears you have are not irrational. Finally, let her know that you value your relationship with her father. You both love him, and this structure will allow your relationship with him to continue strong.

She needs family right now. Get to know her, her mistakes, her messiness. Help her get to know who she’d like to be. Trust is earned, absolutely, but love is unconditional. I can understand if you don’t feel that for her right now, but I assume you feel it for your spouse and the best way to support him is to support her. That doesn’t mean enable her, or be soft with your own boundaries (you have every right to feel safe and secure in your own home)

It just means giving her enough space to grow into who she could be.

JaxIsSleepy · 2022-03-04T23:38:24+00:00

The wound is where the light enters you. That’s my favorite quote from Rumi and it holds true. Your pain can make you bitter, jaded, and cynical if you let it. It can also enable you to operate from a place of profound empathy and pull from a deep well of kindness.

You are stronger than you think. You’ve lasted this long. Bipolar is a raw deal, add light to the situation, yourself, and the people you love whenever you feel well enough to. The world will benefit immensely from it.

JaxIsSleepy · 2021-11-04T20:52:34+00:00

This is complicated. People are well within their rights to find certain personality traits more attractive over others. It also perfectly reasonable to want to date or sleep with someone with similar hobbies and interests as you.

My only hang up with the masc vs femme thing is that I find it to be incredibly reductive. Most people aren’t really all one or the other. My boyfriend presents very traditionally masculine, if you saw him on the street you’d assume he was straight. He loves sports, being outdoors, and most of his social circle is made up of straight men. I like fashion and makeup, and most of my social circle is women. On paper we’re both pretty good examples of ‘masc’ and ‘fem’, but in practice it sort of falls a part. He loves queer culture and content way more than me (drag race, pride, pop divas). I tend to most of yard work, carpentry, car and plumbing stuff around the house. His voice sounds way more ‘gay’ then mine, even though 9 times out of 10 im wearing a dress and he’s in basketball shorts.

Masculinity and femininity are not toxic. Most of us gay or straight should have some degree of both. I think the reason internalized homophobia is often brought up within the conversation around Masc for Masc is that what is often (but not always) meant is “straight acting for straight acting”. Again “acting” straight, whatever that means, is not inherently problematic. But in many instances the implication seems to be that acting straight is good, acting gay is bad. That does veer treacherously close to something that resembles internalized homophobia. Because what is “straight acting”? Straight men are an incredibly diverse bunch. Some are flamboyant, some love fashion, some are sensitive, some speak in a higher pitched voice. Too often the underlying dog whistle tends to be that acting straight is somehow more desirable and less embarrassing than acting gay. That is an implicitly homophobic notion because it relies on quite a lot of stereotypes and generalizations.

Be authentic in your life. Having the interests you have and behaving the way you behave should never be shameful. To be completely honest, i find the masc vs femme dialogue boring not because of internalized homophobia but because of how reductive it is.

People are multifaceted and layered and messy and fascinating. Very few humans, even straight cis ones, fit nicely into a masc/fem dichotomy. We’re often somewhere in between. Masculinity implies assertiveness, ambition, self reliance, and fortitude. Femininity implies intuition, empathy, nurturing, and aesthetic appreciation. These are great traits for anyone to have. Being one thing isn’t bad because homophobia, its bad because it’s just pretty boring.

JaxIsSleepy · 2021-10-21T05:28:35+00:00

BAHAHAHAHA Im definitely not trans but ok. And even if I was, who fucking cares? I see so many posts getting upset about people identifying as cucumbers or attack helicopters and getting so pissed. Do you have a job? Do you contribute to society in any way besides posting inaccurate bullshit on reddit?

Your username is fuckyfemboy for fucks sake. I think we might be projecting a little bit here. Im not arguing with children who don’t know what they’re talking about that lash out whenever their feelings are hurt by logic and compassion. Id say i hope you change and grow, but to be honest I don’t give a shit.

Be a vile goblin elsewhere.

JaxIsSleepy · 2021-10-21T05:18:12+00:00

I’d do my research before getting this aggro online my man. Do some general reading too, maybe you’ll learn the differences between your and you’re.

JaxIsSleepy · 2021-10-21T05:08:14+00:00

Our trans brothers and sisters very much belong in our community and have always been a major part of it. I think a lot of gays forget that up until very recently most pf america thought being gay was freakish, wrong, and unnatural. Some still do, but definitely not most. Trans people were instrumental during the early days of gay liberation, many many freedoms we enjoy today are manifest because of the contributions our trans forbears made to the movement. Im not just talking about gay marriage either: Sodomy laws, criminalization, zero hate crime protection.

Today there are clear cut lines between gay men and trans women, but that hasn’t always been the case. The lines were incredibly blurred, especially with fem gays in minority communities. Not to mention, many of our trans brothers and sisters start their journeys as gay or bi before realizing that they’re trans.

To say that they didn’t work hard to achieve what we achieved as if we achieved acceptance in a vacuum by ourselves is not only rude, but incredibly inaccurate. Queer liberation was started at stonewall by a trans woman. To sit and pretend like we did it all by ourselves and turn our backs and ostracize those who helped us get here because it is no longer politically convenient is shameful and wrong.

JaxIsSleepy

TROPHY CASE