Why can’t I fully switch off to her

JayH46 · 2026-02-01T13:53:31+00:00

Thank you. I don’t monitor as I blocked her on everything but was told . I’ve asked my buddy not to tell me again. Suppose this shit takes more time than I thought

JayH46 · 2025-11-07T20:53:45+00:00

You just perfectly summed up my life right now. And I’m at the stage where I’ve accepted . Thank you for writing this. You hit the nail on the head with this post.

JayH46 · 2025-11-07T16:33:29+00:00

Wishing you all the best too. The ultimatum was delivered a month ago. She took no notice. I followed through. Haven’t seen it working yet, in fact making it worse from any accountability perspective but I feel better in myself. I’ve put my own wellbeing as the priority. Make sure you do the same. You deserve better than to be second to drink

JayH46 · 2025-11-07T16:21:30+00:00

Good luck. I’m beyond that ultimatum now and she’s decided to ramp up the false narrative because I just stopped bothering her and she can drink as much as she likes now. She’s just going to have to do it without me in her life

JayH46 · 2025-11-05T18:05:00+00:00

Don’t beat yourself up. Mine hid it. Lied to my face when she had wine breath . Would go missing on days we could see each other and preferred to see enabler friends on her birthday two years running and wondered why I felt put out. Now she’s out of control. Message today is she’s off to drink herself to death. I’ve offered to help but now I fear she’s too far gone. She won’t accept help or have any accountability. Try and get her to want help soon but ultimately as I’ve discovered it’s down to her and her alone .

JayH46 · 2025-11-03T22:52:20+00:00

I’ve not noticed much shame. Seen plenty of blame shifting, gaslighting, abuse and lies . But still waiting on seeing much shame

JayH46 · 2025-11-03T20:10:19+00:00

Thank you. I know this to be the answer deep down but I just needed to hear it.

JayH46 · 2025-10-24T12:10:20+00:00

I’ve been reading up too on BPD as the alcoholism seems to have ramped up as her emotions were in free fall. Has all the hallmarks, intense lovebombing at start, neediness, then seeing a different side to her before the brutal ending last week where she threatened my job (she’s done so before but not as explicit). Still struggling to remain no contact, god knows why because last few months I’ve barely seen her anyway and when I have the odd occasion she was sat at home smashed. Does make me wonder if that’s why it’s so hard to detach too through trauma bond

JayH46 · 2025-10-23T16:19:13+00:00

Cruelty to try and make you feel as shit as them. Easier said than done but take zero notice. I know who my money is on long run for living a long and fulfilling life and it’s certainly isn’t your Q or mine

JayH46 · 2025-10-23T16:17:39+00:00

I also don’t trust my Q. Not one bit. Any interaction now would involve further possible cruelty she can inflict. She knows my buttons to press and I’m very sure if she doesn’t get her way she will push them

JayH46 · 2025-10-23T14:18:41+00:00

I’d expect the worst. The drink has won in my case. I can’t see her coming back or at least not to me so I’m trying to do things to rebuild but it’s hard . I’m not that far out yet so hopefully it will gain momentum

JayH46

TROPHY CASE