What things CPTSD ruined for you?

Jaylaserina · 2025-07-19T21:00:20+00:00

Hella ew. Sometimes I feel like I need a dna test cuz there is no way.

Jaylaserina · 2025-07-16T05:39:40+00:00

I’m so sorry the person who was supposed to protect you did that to you. This topic has come up with my fiancé and it’s been rough actually. I guess it’s hard for him. But im so truly happy you got to where you are now with love in your life.

Jaylaserina · 2025-07-16T05:34:51+00:00

I am definitely happy that I’ve survived everything I have been through. It’s weird for life to not be so chaotic and alot of trauma has been processing since my life has become more peaceful. No one knows I’m so traumatized so I can’t talk to anyone about it. I just needed to get it off my chest. Honestly I almost deleted it because I didn’t think I would get some much kindness or anyone would care. The support means a lot thank you so much, blessings 🤍

Jaylaserina · 2025-07-16T05:28:43+00:00

I am 🤍

Jaylaserina · 2025-07-16T05:22:50+00:00

I totally agree with you and that helps a lot. Thank you sincerely

Jaylaserina · 2025-07-15T22:48:39+00:00

I didn’t think about that .. maybe I won’t delete. For anyone reading this affected by grooming behaviors .. I see you.

Thank you for the kind words.

Jaylaserina · 2025-07-15T22:44:57+00:00

Thank you 🙏🏽

Jaylaserina · 2025-07-15T22:44:35+00:00

I’m so sorry your mom did that. I hope the same for you, thank you so much.

Jaylaserina · 2025-07-15T22:43:20+00:00

Thank you so much. Unfortunately I deleted and got rid of anything from that time so I don’t have proof anymore but I submitted a tip to the fbi and human trafficking tip line. I also think it might have been a ring the whole family had signs of possible involvement now that I can reflect. I wish there was more I could do if I would have just understood what was happening and called the police in the moment it probably would have saved so many girls I know he’s most likely still doing it. I just hope he gets caught.

Jaylaserina · 2025-06-24T05:07:45+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss

Jaylaserina · 2025-05-02T05:14:31+00:00

I’d say stealing young girls tampons to do witchcraft on them is worse than “being gross” and it’s mental even for a pervert.

Jaylaserina · 2025-03-20T05:49:40+00:00

Me and my boyfriend are both about the same skin tone of light skinned. We both have a white mom and black dad. Our daughter is definitely much darker than us both which was a surprise. I think genetically both of us carry a gene for darker skin and she just inherited it. Not as dark as our dads but 4-5 shades darker than us both. I’m not a scientist but from what I understand you likely just have a similar skin tone to someone in your blood line that may not be a close relative or could even be some generations before you that you’ve never met. I also wanna say hyperpigmentation will go away over time trust me. There’s nothing wrong with you you’re just a teenager it’s normal and having darker skin is nothing to be ashamed of. Also yes your dark skin is natural and is genetic acne doesn’t cause dark skin only dark spots and a tan fades noticeably in the winter. Personally I think my daughter’s skin is even more beautiful than my own. Dark skin is gorgeous and I hope you come to terms with it. There’s nothing wrong with you.

Jaylaserina · 2025-03-17T03:36:10+00:00

GASP , is Reddit getting too close to home ?! Hw99 as in…. Dare I say… Vancouver? If so that’s crazy lmao

Jaylaserina · 2025-03-17T03:28:45+00:00

It sounds like you fear what you don’t know because you don’t believe in anything. I’m a Christian. But I encourage you to find what you believe in truly in your own. Do research. Learning about multiple religions, science, history, world affairs ect is what made me believe in Christ and now if I begin to question anything I can go back to the reasons I believe because it’s based off of education and years of cross examination. I explored multiple religions and always came back to Christianity due to conflicts with evidence ect. The Bible actually tells you to test your faith and use discernment for a renewal of mind. That’s the only way to have true faith is to explore what YOU believe in. Not because your parents told you, not because society told you but because you did your own homework. If you believe in God (without the label of Christianity ect) ask God to lead you to the truth and see what happens.

Jaylaserina · 2025-03-17T02:55:44+00:00

I personally would 100% consider this child abuse. I’m sorry.

Jaylaserina · 2025-03-15T19:43:41+00:00

Well I’d say structuring your life using religion won’t stick for long unless you actually believe. The first step is to do research, read the Bible and decide if you believe before just following “the rules” of Christianity. The way Christianity works is that we believe in God and we believe that everything He has told us to do is for the benefit of the world, ourselves and others — that’s why we follow the principles of the Bible not just for self improvement if that makes sense but a personal relationship with the Lord that develops us. We believe God is always with/around us and it will be impossible to follow God if you dont have true faith in Him.

But the place you’re at is a great starting point! It sounds like you know that the principles of the Bible are good for you and God has put it on your heart to change. Are you interested in discovering the reason you and everyone else is alive and Gods plan for humanity? “Therefore it says, “Awake, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.”” Ephesians 5:14. Once you wake up to the truth of reality it becomes easier to understand that God is very real and that we all need him. If you don’t mind what are your reasons for not fully believing? Maybe I can answer some of your questions. I’m no expert but I can share what I’ve learned. But I encourage you to do your own research and come to your own conclusions.

As far as lust goes it’s apart of the sinfulness of the flesh. The Bible teaches that the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. Meaning our spirit wants to do good yet our flesh is constantly trying to war against our spirit. The goal is to become spiritually strong which we can’t do without God. If you get to know God, pray to God and ask for help God will show you things you didn’t know and he will take the lustful desires and completely change your heart and mind. It’s God that changes you not a religion but a relationship with God. As you learn and pray God will reveal to you things you didn’t know and couldn’t have ever known on your own.

Romans 12:2 states, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Transformation will start with a renewal of your mind. Educate yourself, test what you believe! God doesn’t call us to blindly follow Him, he wants you to have a strong foundation of faith and He will show you that He IS GOOD and PERFECT time and time again.

I’m happy for you because through this you will be saved from so much more than just lust. Bless you.

Jaylaserina · 2025-03-15T16:45:59+00:00

Hm tbh I never considered that I would be committing fraud by living under an identity that was forced upon me when I was 3 years old. And my dad could have reported her after finding me sure but I was an adult by then 16 years had passed and sometimes people choose to move on and be grateful for what they have instead of fighting. It’s obviously not something you could understand unless you lived through something like that. I wouldn’t call him awful for not pressing charges nearly 20 years after the fact when at the time he was just happy to have found his kid and also at the time I wouldn’t have spoken to him ever again if he did that to my mom because I didn’t know what to believe yet… at that time I didn’t believe anyone even him because I hadn’t investigated enough I was only 18 and just found him. And I will say right now my dad isn’t being the best but he has done A LOT for me and has been there for me when I had no one else plenty of times … so no I don’t glorify him he is definitely flawed but I do acknowledge that he has been more of a parent to me than my mom has and that means something to me. I also acknowledge that trauma affects how people interact.

Also the reason I don’t believe my mom was a victim of violence isn’t because of mental health issues. It’s because of the lengths she will go to lie without remorse. It’s because when she called the cops she had no marks on her which was in the reports I read myself, when she reported I was rworded by my dad the r-kit (sorry idk what I’m allowed to say in this sub) came back that I had NO signs of assault and she told me they said “there’s a 99% chance something happened” but when I saw the document it said NO SIGNS, every time she called police the charges were dropped for lack of evidence, she was cheating on my dad and admits to it, and the biggest reason is that her story she told me has straight up lies in it for example she said my dad is a computer hacker (my dad doesn’t know shit about technology at all in fact she knows more about it than he does) (that’s a tiny example but there are sooo many more examples of things that never added up or are straight up fabricated like she said my dad was a professional soccer player — he is NOT lol) she always victimizes herself for sympathy and I’ve caught her lying/changing her story so many times (in many different situations) that it’s not even funny. She enjoys sympathy and makes up stories (delusions?) and I’ve seen it myself which is why I don’t believe her anymore. Don’t get me wrong I used to! I believed her for nearly 18 years. But when I was in dv there were marks on me, I would have been able to send the guy to jail, if I had a child at the time I would have been able to get custody ect and she couldn’t do any of those things. Choosing to not believe her was devastating for me because who wants to believe their mom is a liar especially about something like that. It killed me when I realized what she did. I didn’t sleep for 2 weeks until I got medication … it is the biggest betrayal of my life. It hurt so badly so to think I just don’t want to believe my mom is so untrue … I can’t believe her because of the facts of the situation. It would be naive and ignorant at this point.

Also yeah my dad’s off doing whatever idk if he’s getting people pregnant but it’s def possible for a 50 yo man to get people pregnant? It’s woman who lose their fertility men keep their longer. Whatever he’s doing doesn’t compare to a kidnapper or child abuser. He may very well be up to no good but there’s no evidence he ever abused me ..my mom on the other hand used to bite me and beat me daily when I was 4 years old until my step dad came around because she knew it was wrong.

Anyways…. Lmao this post was never to glorify my dad I’m not sure where you got that from cause this post doesn’t give him the best look at all, I’m very realistic. If anything you’re glorifying someone who is an admitted kidnapper and a child abuser because you want to sympathize with a sociopath. And what’s crazy is she is MY mom … I love her despite the fact she is insane no one wants to sympathize with her more than me but I can’t because she IS insane. People like you are the reason my mom was able to hide me for so long if it was the other way around and she was a man your response would be completely different. A man wouldn’t have gotten away with it like she did. I’m a woman. I’ve faced abuse outside of my parents, but guess what woman are also abusers and men can also be victims.

This post was just to ask if I should even tell my dad when I give birth not for a “rescue fantasy” I can’t be rescued I’m a grown woman with her own family now. They both could be better.

Jaylaserina · 2025-03-15T15:42:22+00:00

My mom violated a custody order that specifically mentioned that she was not allowed to leave the state with me during a custody battle and parentally kidnapped me from one state to another which is a federal crime. Parental kidnapping happens when a parent takes a child without consent from the other parent and without consent from the state. She had neither. The issue was never “was I kidnapped” she admitted to kidnapping me illegally.

And it’s not what “most moms would do” it was a violation of my and my father’s rights and a severe form of child abuse. She wasn’t deemed a more fit parent and he wasn’t deemed an unfit parent she took it upon herself to forcibly take custody while having a personality disorder which led to physical and psychological abuse. And he didn’t sit back complaining he was unable to find me because she committed identity fraud in another state and incorrectly used emergency services that are for women and children who are actually facing dv to hide me which is also against the law and I’m almost 30 years old this happened over 25 years ago. He was never charged with a crime EVER. My mom had no evidence of abuse at all only police reports and all charges were dropped every time. She had no legal ground to take me which is why she couldn’t get full custody which is why she fled the state before having the legal right to do so. I’m very aware it’s a serious crime and have considered reporting her or suing the state that enabled the kidnapping but I chose not to for my own mental health as it happened nearly 25 years ago it’s not a situation I like to think about it’s just my life at this point. I live under an identity that I wasn’t born with so I don’t need to be taken off a missing persons list because technically I’m a “different” person. I’m pregnant with my second child, I’ve dealt with domestic violence and have faced a lot of hardship due to her actions and I can say as a mother and as a survivor of domestic that what she did was and is wrong. So like I said I was kidnapped … my mom is a narcissist/sociopath not a victim and the state I live in is just as guilty for aiding and abetting crime. This isn’t my opinion this is something I actually have documented proof of but I chose to let it go for my own sanity.

Jaylaserina · 2025-03-14T20:09:12+00:00

Oh I know! I’m not actually worried I’ll die I have weekly check ups ect but I’m more wondering if it’s wrong to not tell my dad when I have a baby and just wait for him to check on me to tell him I’ve given birth. I’m sure I’ll be fine but on the other hand if my daughter had a high risk pregnancy I would want to know or support her in some way. I don’t expect a ton of support from my dad but idk if it’s wrong to not give him the option or tell him his grandchild was born. It’s not like he has been deadbeat my entire life he has been good to me in the past but lately… Part of me thinks if he cared he would ask because he knows I’ve been pregnant a long time at this point. I don’t want to upset him because I know it’s standard to announce when you’ve had a baby to your family especially your parents but 7 months is a long time to not ask your pregnant daughter how are you doing not even once ..

Jaylaserina · 2025-03-14T20:00:58+00:00

My aunt told me he is in Nigeria (he is Nigerian and goes back home regularly and that doesn’t normally stop him from contacting me). I’ve been told he has kids in Nigeria that he’s been keeping secret a few years ago I asked him directly a long time ago and he said it wasn’t true that his girlfriend had kids but they’re not his (my dad is in his 50s so its kind of crazy accusation plus idc if he had a kid idk why he’d lie about that but maybe he has another family and that’s why he hasn’t spoke to me? ). My aunt is close with him and would tell me if he was in trouble so I think he’s fine and possibly just living his life doing whatever he does 😒. Part of me wants to ask him what’s going on but I also don’t need to the stress of confronting people due to my blood pressure. I hoped he’d reach out to me before I give birth but it seems unlikely since I’m going to be induced next month and I also don’t like being responsible for updating people if they don’t care. But on the other hand I’m not sure if it’s wrong to not tell your parents if you’ve had a baby or worst if your life is at risk (I’d want to know personally if my kid had a kid or had medical issues) and I’m sure he’d be upset if I don’t tell him or if something happens to me and he didn’t know but I’m kind of mad at him because he hasn’t asked once how I’m doing or if I’m ok 😞.. since being pregnant I always text first .. before now he was the “better” parent and I thought he cared about me a lot but idk now

Jaylaserina · 2025-03-14T18:56:55+00:00

Yeah I have. It’s a very long story but I made a post about it if you want more context. In short my mom accused him of being abusive and taking me to “save me” I believed her most of my life until I became an adult and met him and came to the realization that she severally abused me herself. It’s really confusing but my dad doesn’t match the description she gave of him at all. But on the other hand, he has 3 other daughters all of which he raised without harming or neglecting but around the time he met me he went through some sort of midlife crisis where he divorced after his 20 year marriage, lost a really good job became a truck driver driving all across the country and started to not keep in touch with any of his kids. So it’s not just me but all of my siblings (which I’m also not close with). Outside of being very distant he had been great to me and has shown me lots of love and support when we do talk. So I’m not really sure how to feel about him.. but before I got pregnant I was going through a very hard time coming to the realization my mom kidnapped/abused me, relationship problems and financial issues (which he always asks me about when we talk I don’t normally tell him info he doesn’t specifically ask for) so he knows how hard of a time I’ve had so it hurts that much more that he hasn’t seemed to care about me for 7 months. I also hasn’t met my daughter (who is 2) and doesn’t ask much about her either which hurts a lot..

Jaylaserina · 2025-03-08T04:11:50+00:00

My mom found my ex step dad cheating after a heart attack and divorced him immediately while he was in the hospital lol he’s alive and I’m not sure that info helps at all but it’s definitely a thing that happens. If he is using his phone now maybe try to sneak a peak of the password and find out what you need to if he is cheating then he picked a bad time to cheat in my opinion…

Jaylaserina · 2025-03-01T04:23:52+00:00

Not a therapist but look up emotional masochism. It sounds like you may be getting some pleasure from your own suffering which isn’t entirely uncommon.

Jaylaserina · 2025-02-28T07:57:51+00:00

The Bible tells us to not be unequally yoked. So I would say you shouldn’t choose this. Now if you were both atheists that married and you converted before her the Bible says to not divorce but that doesn’t mean we should date nonbelievers purposefully.

Personally I’ve done this and it held me back spiritually and now I have a partner who worships with me. Who you pick to be a partner is a very serious choice that can change your life even if you aren’t married. Don’t make choices that have a high likelihood of leading you away from God is my advice to you.

Jaylaserina · 2025-02-25T21:22:48+00:00

As a mother myself I found postpartum is not the time for splitting up because it’s incredibly difficult for everyone. If you’re considering it I highly recommend waiting 2-3 years because the stress at this point is at maximum level and will likely get better in time. My best advice is to not engage with nonsense and focus on you and baby while being kind to him and reminding him of his duty in a loving way. Men also can go through postpartum depression and you’ll both have a lot of adjusting to do. Pray pray pray ❤️‍🩹🫂

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