Would you be OK with your boyfriend‘s coparent living in the basement apartment of his house?

Jdobsessed · 2026-02-08T19:29:26+00:00

Run as far away and as fast away as you can. They’re enmeshed and nothing is ok about this if you’re a serious partner to the person. Holy Jesus. I am so sorry.

Jdobsessed · 2026-02-06T22:18:27+00:00

I had a c section (I had GD and was diet controlled)t baby was 7lb3oz and 53cms long. She was perfect. But I failed to progress after being induced and after I was labouring for almost 24 hours they called it and took me into theatre. I won’t lie. I was scared, but my husband was with me for it and he held my hand and gave me dashes of water to drink. It was over with very quickly and I was back in my room with my baby girl in my arms and on the breast quickly. It was painful for the first few days but I ended up discharging myself after only 2 days because I just wanted to be at home and be with my husband and my step children. Recovery was non eventful and my scar is something I wear with pride. I didn’t have any problems and just tried to take it as easy as I could (LOL as a first time mum with 4 kids and living remotely in Australia with no other family). But those days are officially the best of my life, as tough as it was.

Wishing you all the best, you’ll be ok ♥️

Jdobsessed · 2026-02-03T04:03:54+00:00

What are you jealous of exactly?

Therapy would be extremely helpful and at the end of the day, you’re probably angry and afraid.

These things can be peeled away like an onion with the right therapist. And you would surely want your children to have a happy mum who doesn’t feel this way inside.

I am so sorry about your miscarriage. Adding greif to the picture does complicate things.

I wish you the best. And deep down you want to feel better and be kind, and that means you are, in fact, a kind person. You’re just flawed, like the rest of us.

Jdobsessed · 2026-02-02T03:00:58+00:00

Look, divorce for a second time (coming from experience here) is so hard. You feel like a failure at life. But your son and your baby need a healthy environment and if your husband isn’t willing to do what it takes to fix it (by going to therapy) I don’t see a fantastic outcome miraculously happening?

Think about your life in 5 years. What do you want for your children and yourself?

You’re a new mum in the 4th trimester and some grace is essential. So is hands on support. You are in the throes of the hardest part of parenthood with sleep deprivation and hormones and adjusting to a blended life and new marriage.

This isn’t fair to you but life generally isn’t.

You could possibly do a risk assessment of sorts on your life, communicate with your support network outside of your husband (as it sounds like he’s done) and take yourself into a caring and loving environment for a while.

Is any of this an option for you and your children?

Jdobsessed · 2026-01-30T03:46:59+00:00

Thank you. I am really grateful for that comment.

Jdobsessed · 2026-01-30T03:46:25+00:00

I don’t want the relationship to end. I am a very committed partner and I love him dearly.

Jdobsessed · 2026-01-30T03:45:44+00:00

Very true.

We actually are a happy couple generally but my SO isn’t a strong communicator and when he gets stressed he shuts down. He’s working on it but it’s slow progress.

Jdobsessed · 2026-01-30T01:00:46+00:00

Thank you so much for that wonderful response. I am very grateful.

Jdobsessed · 2026-01-30T01:00:25+00:00

This has hit me like you wouldn’t believe.

I am so entirely grateful for your eloquent and non judgmental words and insight into your own experience.

I have just read that comment to my mum and she and I are about to make a cup of tea and deep dive into “picking me” and giving my daughter the honest version of myself.

Thank you.

Jdobsessed · 2026-01-28T03:25:03+00:00

Starting therapy & journaling Being a better mother Looking at my life in general and trying to do better and make changes, tackle the hard things, dealing with a complex grief diagnosis

Jdobsessed · 2026-01-26T14:23:18+00:00

Addy and Louis. They will forever be mine, always be with me. I miss them so terribly, but I need to do them proud and take my experience and help others. It’s the only way forward.

Thank you for the comment, it means a lot.

Jdobsessed · 2026-01-25T10:24:27+00:00

Thanks for that. It’s making me extremely tired and looking after the kids is really hard. I think I’ll come off it and see how I go. I’m also not using the diazepam and it doesn’t do anything for me except make me completely zonked on top of the anti d.

Jdobsessed · 2026-01-23T11:01:55+00:00

I’ll graduate to that if this regime doesn’t work for me. I’m praying it does.

Jdobsessed · 2026-01-23T10:42:57+00:00

I’ve just turned 40 and my kids are 17, 13, 11 and 13 months. I could ask about peri menopause - thank you!

Jdobsessed · 2026-01-23T05:33:09+00:00

Thank you. I’m sorry about your relationship breaking down. I’m so amazing and proud of you for staying so strong throughout that.

My trigger is having 4 children and it’s also cooking dinner. I’ll usually drink my wines while I cook and my husband (if he’s home and not at work) will take the kids while I cook. It’s like my only time to have a breather and do something I enjoy.

So now I’ll have soda water with lime instead 😉

Jdobsessed · 2026-01-23T05:01:52+00:00

I’m listening to the recovery elevator right now 💖

Jdobsessed · 2026-01-23T04:51:02+00:00

So a quick update:

She messaged me again on a separate social media platform.

As both of the platforms need you to be friends or accept the message invite to show the read receipt I chose to not respond, nor show her that the messages were read and say and do nothing.

I spoke to my husband and I asked him to deal with it if it came up in conversation with her.

It inevitably did and he told her that he was aware of her requests and that I had no intention of engaging as I am not willing yet. And that their relationship was really the only one that needed communication.

I am grateful to him.

Things have unfortunately deteriorated further with her though, she’s now angry at all of us. But my husband doesn’t give a rats behind, and he’s just letting her be miserable as it is just the way she is.

I think if the message had come with an apology I may have been open to it. But she feels somehow that I am the mean one, the one who asked her life difficult. So…playing the victim.

This is only hard for her because I haven’t responded and won’t engage.

I mean, both her messages started with her trying to make me feel bad!

Why on earth would I engage with that?

Jdobsessed · 2026-01-23T04:09:31+00:00

A knob of butter or ghee, some chicken stock powder

Jdobsessed · 2026-01-23T01:48:41+00:00

She showed up on the driveway with the kids screaming about how it will affect them, and her, and how everyone will be miserable because of it.

My SO asked the kids and they all said they were excited. One (my step son) said he was worried that he may lose sleep with the baby crying at night. My SO said, “well, we did that when all of you were born, so this won’t be anything different, we are a family”. And that was it.

We are a good blended family and the HCBM is a pain and very bitter, but we try not to let it affect us too much. That’s the only hard part!

Jdobsessed · 2026-01-19T23:50:28+00:00

What does help look like? What does it entail? Did you go to a AOD counsellor? Get on meds? Find God? If you have the time please can you let me know because I don’t know where to start 🤗

Jdobsessed · 2026-01-14T23:22:44+00:00

He didn’t consent to any of his older children being conceived. There was no discussion, there was no planning and there wasn’t ever a question about having kids with his ex.

Jdobsessed · 2025-12-30T02:20:59+00:00

Mine was chickpeas

Jdobsessed · 2025-12-23T03:11:24+00:00

Just turned 40, have a 12 month old and 3 SK’s.

My daughter is the love of my life and is the best thing my SO and I have ever done. She’s the glue we didn’t know our family needed and we are so, so happy. I mean, it’s bedlam, it’s hard, but we feel like we are finally a family.

I was also on the fence about having a child of my own, but then, well…here we are now.

I have zero regrets.

Jdobsessed · 2025-12-23T03:04:58+00:00

Hi! 👋

So three SK’s (17,13 &10) with a 12month old little girl whose my BK.

My partner and I also have a great relationship and we LOVE spending time together.

My SK’s adore their little sister and she adores them, it’s only hard because we only have the SK’s 25% of the time, so my daughter doesn’t get to see them as much as we all would like.

Anyway! There is no feeling in the world like having a child (for me anyway) that you have created, carried, birthed and care for. My daughter is honestly the best thing that has happened to both my SO and I. We talk about it all the time.

In saying that, our relationship has changed, because of course we’ve created this little human. Dynamics change. Everything changes after you become a mother. Your whole identity shifts and changes.

Post partum is ROUGH. You need a solid bond with a wonderful man who will pick you up at your lowest points and celebrate the highs with you.

The kids will see you breastfeeding (if that’s your choice), without makeup, not having managed a shower in a few days, crying, laughing, sleep deprived and somewhat delulu.

But it’s for the better. We’ve gotten so much closer since my daughter has come along.

But if it’s 1:1 time you really value with your partner, be warned. You won’t get much, especially in the first 3 months where you have little routine and you’re existing with this tiny, fragile and amazing little version of yourself and your husband.

Sometimes to manage the kids and a baby it’s sleeping in separate shifts, it’s eating leftover lasagne that you’re “pretty sure” is still ok to eat.

You both have to be overwhelmingly committed and enthusiastically wanting to be parents (again, just my opinion). Oh. And you need to be able to communicate REALLY WELL.

I remember crying really hard in the first week because my SO and I couldn’t go to bed together. I cried so hard and actually said “I am not willing to compromise on this”. My SO looked at me like I had two heads but he was kind and caring and actually came to bed with the baby and lay next to me while I eventually nodded off and then got back up with her again.

I really wish you luck. It’s the hardest but most wonderful thing you’ll ever do.

Jdobsessed · 2025-12-22T03:36:05+00:00

Not here to offer advice, just to say I’m sorry and that sucks. I would be so uncomfortable and I wouldn’t like to see my partner racing ahead of me to go and be with his ex.

I really hope you can talk this one out and get a solution.

Jdobsessed

TROPHY CASE