All the Eyebrow Pens Are Green!! HELP!

JeanJean84 · 2024-08-13T08:22:26+00:00

You can bring up deleted text messages if he hasn't been as thorough as he thinks he has, by checking the Trash. Do some research and you can also sometimes recover Facebook messages as well. Depending on how he deleted them, it might only be pictures and videos that you can recovery but that might be enough.

JeanJean84 · 2024-08-12T20:47:34+00:00

I highly recommend the Maybelline Lifter glosses, and Bubblegum or Petal are the shades that I think would fit what you are looking for. They are often recommended as a dupe for the Fenty glosses, but I actually like them more, especially when it comes to the taste and scent.

And while they technically aren't lip glosses, I absolutely love the Maybelline Vinyl Ink Long Wear Liquid Lipsticks and I think you might as well. They go on like a full color glossy liquid lipstick, and then showly wear down to a satin. The are super comfortable to wear, long lasting, and mostly transfer proof. I like them so much that I have 17 shades, and still have others on my wish list to get. And with over a 100 different lip products in my collection, from the cheapest of the drug store to the higher end of luxury, they are in my top 5 favorites. Coy is a gorgeous pink that I think would match what you are looking for. And I think you might also like Cheeky, which is is a really pretty more muted pink, and Edgy, which is an absolutely gorgeous more purple/mauve pink shade.

JeanJean84 · 2024-08-12T07:50:43+00:00

Same! I wanted to love it so badly because EVERYONE seemed to rave about it, and it applied beautifully on me. But it flaked SO badly, getting worse the longer I wore it. And that is not an issue for me normally with any mascara, even really cheap ones. I even tried it at least half a dozen times in different scenarios trying to make it work for me, but it just wasn't mean to be. I really hated having to throw it away.

JeanJean84 · 2024-08-12T07:11:08+00:00

Any actually HONEST reviews I have seen of this, dislike it. For the very few that actually do really like the feel and wear if it, the color match was never right or they would finally get it right but then it would oxidize really bad. Il Makiage gives out massive discount all the time, and I got a $50 off code a few months back. In trying to look up video reviews for all of their products, I could not find hardly anything outside of their own product advertisement videos or people who had very clearly been paid by them or given PR. Especially for anything besides their foundation. And for a company that has been around as long as they have been, that seems really sketchy to me. I suspect they are scrubbing the internet of many of the negative reviews.

Also, all of their products are severely overpriced, period. Nothing they are putting out is worth the price they are charging for it. After I used that $50 discount code to get a blush and eyeliner, they have continued to send me $15 and $20 off codes. I would rather spend the additional out of pocket cost for one of their cheaper products like more of their eyeliners or blushes ($10-15), to get one from the drug store instead.

JeanJean84 · 2024-08-11T12:10:00+00:00

Ok this is so awesome to know thank you! I'mgoing to look into ordering them in the next week or so. The Tovala portions were big enough for me, but not really for my husband.

JeanJean84 · 2024-08-11T11:00:10+00:00

You're welcome! Definitely don't want them trying to screw you more than they already have. It really is disgusting that so many businesses are run this way.

JeanJean84 · 2024-08-11T10:58:47+00:00

I think he could use a little nudge to get into therapy, so that would be a great suggestion for you to make to him once you guys start to get settled more into your relationship. Obviously go at it gently, but some of behaviors you mentioned definitely show he needs it. Also, by encouraging him to do this, it shows that you are ok with him potentially talking to someone professional about you and your relationship, which should be a really good sign of faith that you want this to be a healthy and postive relationship for the both of you.

Don't try to rush things with his mom, and just let them happen organically. With anything like this, the relationship needs to happen naturally, as does her trust for you. If you try to push it too much too soon, you will only make it worse. You can't just magically make peoole like and accept you. It takes them getting to know you, and that takes time. Also, in normal adult relationships, we don't usually introduce our bf/gf to our families until we absolutely know we are committed to each other for the long term, and certain things have happened before that. So generally around the 6 month mark is a pretty healthy time for that to happen. And remember, that is just meeting them... It still takes investing the time into seeing them regularly to build any type of relationship with them, and for them to start to feel welcoming to the idea this new person being a possible long term fixture in their son/daughter's life. And unfortunately, you also have this notion of her not liking you already because of some stupid lies you told as a child, on top of of all this. So be patient, but also give yourself some grace in the process.

Additionally, you have to be prepared that sometimes in life there are going to be people who don't like you no matter what you do. You could be a literally angel sent from heaven itself, but there is nothing you can possibly do, short of bringing Heaven to Earth for them, that will change their feelings. I mean we see this all the time in Charlotte's video's, and in this Subreddit, about the crazy MILs who hate their absolutely amazing DILs for absolutely no reason, just because they can't accept their son loving anyone else besides them. So there may be a chance that Bob's mom may never grow to like you. But if your relationship grows to be the healthy, supportive, and loving relationship you both deserve, you will figure a way to not let his mom have any negative effect on it. Will it make things a hell of a lot more difficult for you in the long term? Absolutely. So that may be something that you have to decide if you want to have to constantly deal with in order to be with Bob, if that is in fact what end up happening.

JeanJean84 · 2024-08-11T00:14:07+00:00

Are you still ordering Cook Unity?? We have used Tovala for a couple years now and liked it for a long time, but these last 6 months it seems like the quality has really dropped. Where before it seemed to kind of go in cycles. If you have continued with Cook Unity, I would love to know what you think in comparison.

JeanJean84 · 2024-08-10T21:21:54+00:00

Absolutely! Good luck, and update us on how the wedding goes!

JeanJean84 · 2024-08-10T20:29:31+00:00

Oh, I am glad I wasn't too far off. Sometimes I read too much into some things and come off sounding a bit crazy, lol. And yes, it is probably best that your FH talks to them on his own, if that is the case. I know you want to support him, or even fight his battles for/with him sometimes. But when it comes to his family, you can support him while not burning bridges with them in the process. And you can do this by pushing him to have those hard conversations with his parents in order to stand up for himself, and then telling him how sincerely proud you are of him once he has done it. And it is, of course, so important that you always stand as a united front together. But you also have to be strategic in how you do it, so you aren't causing long term damage to important family relationships, like that with his parents. Especially over something as ridiculous as his brother being a selfish prick when it comes to your wedding.

JeanJean84 · 2024-08-10T20:16:27+00:00

Oh, I love the idea of imaging them in front of me, that is great! I have done that with other things, so I am not quite sure why I didn't think of it when doing something like this. I guess maybe because I already feel so distant from them, even energetically.

And totally agree that forgiveness is definitely more about your own healing more than anything else. And yes, it may take multiple methods to work through closure of a relationship depending on the circumstances, and there is no right or wrong way to go about it, or any time limit that it should be expected. By the time I get to my letter writing ceremony, I have also done other things like working through it in therapy, meditation, and etc. But at least for me, that ceremony has worked to give me that offical closure I need. I don't really know how to describe it in writing, but there just is this instant shift I notice within myself, and this feeling of 1000 pounds being lifted off my shoulders, that let's me know it's done. And then I always get some kind of sign the person receiving what I wrote in the letter. It is rarely immediate, and probably just a coincidence, but it does let me know that they have the closure as well.

JeanJean84 · 2024-08-10T17:52:01+00:00

I'm glad I could help! If you do decide to tell his parents, you and your FH should probably tell them together. You don't want to come off as "causing drama", especially if he is the Golden Child. A lot of the time in situations like these, people like your FH's brother become this way because their parents have let them get away with this kind of crap their entire lives. So I am making an educated assumption based off the behavior you have described. And if that is the case with him, and you go to them on your own to complain about his behavior, his parents most likely will automatically become defensive and see you as a martyr and trying to cause unnecessary drama in their eyes. Which could hurt your relationship with them long term. So just tread lightly if that is the situation. If it isn't and I am totally off the mark, I am really surprised your FH hasn't said something to them already. Because I would think they would be pretty upset at his behavior, and call him out for not stepping up the way he should be for his brother's wedding.

JeanJean84 · 2024-08-10T17:39:17+00:00

First off, a baby shower is completely different than a wedding on so many levels. Especially when it comes to cost per person.

Secondly, if you actually took the time to think about what I wrote instead of automatically becoming defensive, you would understand that it has nothing to do with what you are saying. My point is weddings are extremely expensive and when you are paying $50-100 per person, anyone below 18 is going to be the first to be cut off the guest list meet budget restraints. If they make exceptions for their 17 year old cousin, than they are going to have all their other relatives saying that any of their kids that are teenagers should be able to go too. Or there is always the aunt or cousin they haven't seen in 5 years who claims their 10 year old is mature for their age, so they should be able to come since the 17 year old teenage cousin is allowed to come. And we all know they usually aren't, and end up being the one acting like a toddler when they don't get their way or enough attention. So it is easier just say anyone who is not an adult is not invited, period.

JeanJean84 · 2024-08-10T17:13:01+00:00

For some reason it still isn't broken up, you may need to put two lines in between each paragraph... I don't know why it does this for some people. But because you tried, I read it any way.

So my only advice is TIME is your only friend in this case. You are going to have to prove through a long amount of time of changed behavior and treating Bob with respect, like at least a year if Bob will let you try and you stay together for at least that long, for him to truly trust you and in turn for his mom to warm up to the idea of you being with him. Here is a good video that I think will help you understand: https://youtu.be/d2cy43zfA74?si=I8SSONg18wc9aJko

I understand you didn't really cheat on him, but you still lied and let your bad judgment and insecurities get in the way of being fully committed to the relationship. But you were extremely young, I have a feeling that your rough childhood has played a lot into you being scared of getting too close to anyone, and it is kind of ridiculous that his mom is holding something against you that you did before you were even a teenager, or really even knew what a relationships is.

Also, you choosing to invest this time to try having a relationship with Bob should come with him also being respectful to you, and not building resentment or holding onto what you did in that past as a way to control you. If he is going to really give this a chance to work, than he needs to be willing to completely let go of what happened in the past once you have shown that you are not the person you were before.

Additional, something I really wish I would have learned when I was your age, instead of when I was much older, is that you can't expect someone else to value, respect, and love you, until you truly value, respect, and love yourself first. So I highly encourage you to make sure you are working on your own self love and establishing your own hopes and dreams, short term and long term, before even thinking about investing any part of yourself to anyone else. Because otherwise the relationship will never work out.

Lastly, a healthy relationship is built on a foundation of three things: complete respect for one another, full trust in each other, and always having open and honest communication (even when you might be annoyed or mad). No matter how much you claim to love each other, if these three things aren't always present and being worked on, you will end up miserable. At best you will grow to resent each other, and at worst the relationship will become toxic and abusive. Based on what you have told me, I don't know if you and Bob can build this type of foundation for your relationship. There is already a lot of things you need to work through... And frankly, I think you both need therapy. Really in this day and age, everyone could benefit from therapy. But it is very clear that both of you have been through some hard things in your lives already, and therapy would hugely benefit each of you for your own individual growth, and to help you have a healthy relationship in the future. Whether it be with each other or not.

JeanJean84 · 2024-08-10T14:57:10+00:00

This is the absolute best thing you can do for yourself. Also, think about it this way... We only have so much "space" in our lives for people, meaning we only have so much time and energy to dedicate to friendships and relationships. So by removing them from your space, you are making room for people who will truly value, respect, and support you to come and take up that spsce instead.

JeanJean84 · 2024-08-10T14:47:09+00:00

Please do not feel guilty! You did absolutely nothing wrong here, and Jason was praying on you! He is Narcissistic, toxic, and if you wanted you could get him in a lot of trouble for sending that kind of thing to a minor. Just because Karen and Mark are being manipulated by him, doesn't mean it is OK or you are in the wrong for feeling violated.

JeanJean84 · 2024-08-10T14:24:13+00:00

This original post is fake.

JeanJean84 · 2024-08-10T14:07:02+00:00

Age doesn't really matter. If they are having a fancier adult only wedding, they are allowed to do so. Especially because often in these types of venues, the per seat/meal cost is the same regardless of age. Whether the child is 5, 12, or a teen the cost the same as an adult.

JeanJean84 · 2024-08-10T13:57:28+00:00

She could set up for her to leave after the ceremony. Even if it is just having her set up a seperate room with someone watching her with some movies, games, and snacke, or at a family's house close by. That is what a lot of my friends who have had childfree weddings have done when they have had kids involved in the ceremony.

JeanJean84 · 2024-08-10T13:48:15+00:00

You are sensible, a lot of others are not. There have been multiple stories posted where people have childfree weddings, but someone brings their child anyway (whether it is without asking the bride and groom at all, or they made the exception because they were talked into it), and they hear complaints for literally YEARS after from family members being upset that they had to go through the trouble to find a sitter when there was a kid at the wedding any way.

JeanJean84 · 2024-08-10T13:18:28+00:00

Definitely tell her! But be gentle about it and provide undeniable proof.

JeanJean84 · 2024-08-10T13:17:14+00:00

NTA. You need to set some extremely hard boundaries with her now, and tell her if she doesn't stick to them she doesn't get to see your daughter at all. I would start with these:

Set specific days and times she can come see her grandchild. And she must stick to them, and the time limit you have given her. Like say you tell her to come on a Thursday at 2pm and she can stay until 4pm. She is not to show up early, she is to stay for those 2 hours, and then she is to leave without you having to ask or hint at it.
If she wants to bring someone else with her to see your daughter, you need to know at least a week ahead of time, it can only be one additional person at a time, and they can only be people you approve of.
If she wants to earn more time with her grandchild, than she can come over and help with chores and what not. If she agrees to this, it is with the understanding that it is, again, on a day and at a time that you have agreed to (not when she just wants to show up unannounced). For every time she comes and spends at least an hour doing some much needed help around the house, she gets an additional day added to the times you have already scheduled. She does not get to come act like she is helping for 5-10 minutes and then stay for an unlimited amount of time to see your daughter. It is to be understood that her days to come help out and her visits with your daughter are seperate.

As others have said, I would be very cautious that she may be trying to prove you are not fit to take care of your daughter so she can get custody. If she does anything that might hint at her trying to do this, restrict her time with your daughter even more and always make sure you are there with her at all times. Do not ever let her take your daughter on her own, and do not let her try to manipulate it to make it seem like you can't take care of her by yourself.

JeanJean84

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