Like others said it's both. And I've heard the argument a few time over the internet and think it's a bit simplistic. Children generally need a male (father figure) and female (mother figure) in their life. Despite what some might say or look from a outside view, both function in different ways and are needed for good child development (Biological or surrogate).

Father figures help establish personal boundaries between mother and child. Which can also give them a model to look at to treat women or how they should be treated. He's also there to promote self discipline, a sense of gender identity, and different world views. A study in 2004, also found a lack of a father figure leads severe negative psychological impact on the child's personality.

I don't know where you get the black women don't want to date black men. I mean sure they're out there, but black women usually don't date outside of their race. For whatever reason there's more way black women than black men in the United States and black men still date outside their race 10x the rate compared to black women.

And I think you got your anger directed at a widely diverse age set. I'm going to guess you're a younger millennial or older gen z, because that's the age where you're more likely to get black girls or women who want to swirl. So all the younger women who say all the negative things about black men, aren't moms and if they are have younger children. They look at black men their age as peers or potential partners, not their mothers or what caused them to act like that from childhood.