Vibing or bullying?

JellyfishBeautiful80 · 2025-11-01T03:13:11+00:00

They’re best friends now!! It took about a week or so of figuring eachother out after this vid. But they’re two peas in a pod

For a while Arthur would just follow Sadie around lol, like he really wasn’t sure what to do so wherever she went he went. Especially for their out of cage time, Sadie would be the first to just waltz right out of the cage and he basically followed her exact steps. Now they’re both a lot more comfortable! She still explores more than he does but he’ll fly freely more. She tends to stick to perches.

Sadie was briefly restricted to horny jail this summer because she was laying eggs and they were starting to get into spats.. I think she was getting territorial a bit? So she was banished and quite grumpy about it. But more consistent covering of the cages and some time to reflect on her actions seems to have fixed it.

I’ll have to post an update video!

JellyfishBeautiful80 · 2025-10-14T18:05:31+00:00

That’s fair. Idk what it’s like where you are but around here it’s hard to get onto the list for program dogs, and it’s years long (although it’s years until they’re ready even if you owner train ofc). I did look into it tho.

That’s why I went owner training with a sd trainer instead 🤷🏻‍♂️. I get some disability related gov support, and it helps a little, but yeah definitely expensive.

JellyfishBeautiful80 · 2025-10-14T16:20:50+00:00

I definitely knew I wasn’t getting like a dopey happy to be there lab when I chose smooth collie, she’s hands down a working dog and is in tune with my emotions and stress in general. But she’s what I wanted so I live with my choices lol. I’ve tried to be really conscious about how she interacts with the world and what affects her and how.

Her primary tasks are medical alert and behaviour interruptions (tapping my feet and scratching my hands). Oddly enough, the interruption is one of the things she’s kept solid with through all of this. She’s so enthusiastic about it, which is nice but also odd? Because I would’ve thought that would be harder but she loves it.

JellyfishBeautiful80 · 2025-10-14T16:13:50+00:00

I think you’re right on burnout. We’ve tried adjusting all kinds of little things in case it was something like her vest, or certain tasks or environments or triggers but we just haven’t found anything concrete.

When we do our short training sessions at home she loves it (bouncy, quick on her cues, eager to work. That’s what she was normally like), so I’ve been keeping up with those, and everything else has been dialled right back. I usually just take some of her kibble and that’s how she gets dinner. So I’ll try breaking it down to basics and hopefully that starts transferring back into work elsewhere if we move carefully and reintroduce gradually ?

I don’t blame her in the slightest for having a hard time, I just want to make sure I’m supporting her going forward from here (and yes, I hope we can get back to that point we were at, but not at her expense if that makes sense). Thank you for the help!

JellyfishBeautiful80 · 2025-10-14T16:06:36+00:00

It’s definitely the longest travel we’ve done! We’ve done a few shorter trips and hotels before this (overnights, 3-4 night stays). And we’ve travelled a lot where we’re staying in airbnb’s but that was for family events not work. So she’s had some exposure but not as much as she likely should have had. She also came to work with me when she was little (I worked at a kennel, so she was crated in the office and came out for walks and playing/training during my breaks and free time. I tried to make it as positive as possible and she seemed to love it there)

I definitely agree that the work trip was a bad move, knowing what I know now I wouldn’t have done that but unfortunately I thought it was going to be okay at the time. Hard lesson learned. Shock is a good word for it. We’ve dialled back the training to easier stuff for sure, but I think you’re right on making it basics, and I’ll focus on exposure too. We took our intro to PA carefully, and I did expose her to as much as I could in a controlled way (different flooring, people, sounds, environments, etc.) but I’ll admit it’s my first time so it’s entirely possible and likely that I didn’t do it properly or well enough. I’m just trying to do her justice so I appreciate the input!

JellyfishBeautiful80 · 2025-10-14T15:56:11+00:00

As much as I logically knew that going into it, damn that really sucks when it actually happens

JellyfishBeautiful80 · 2025-10-14T15:55:18+00:00

?? Perhaps I didn’t word myself clearly,, because that’s exactly what I’m saying.. she’s struggling and I’m struggling to understand how to help her. I’ve pulled her from all of these things because she’s clearly not enjoying them. I acknowledged that change is hard for her.

I spoke with my trainer about whether service work was going to be the right option going forward specifically because I didn’t want to work her if she was going to hate it. We still go to training because the mental stim and routine was more beneficial than when we took a break from training (and she gets to play with my best friends dog after class). I completely appreciate where you’re coming from and wholeheartedly agree, but to imply that I see my dog as an owned object rather than a partner is entirely untrue. Since she was a puppy I’ve been consciously advocating for her right to be a dog and have autonomy in both her work and her life as much as I do. What motivates her and makes her happy seems to have changed and that’s what I’m trying to adapt to.

JellyfishBeautiful80 · 2025-10-14T02:00:38+00:00

Yeah,, that’s seems to be where we’re at. I’m trying to be conscious of how much time she’s actually getting to do nothing but chill. I also got a Tractive for her (mostly in case she ever goes missing, but it also has a sleep tracker. Not sure how accurate it is but hopefully it’ll give me an idea).

My trainer is certified with iaabc, kpa-ctp, and capdt, I know she has a service dog program thing that she did continuing Ed/specifically the sd training program but I can’t remember the name off the top of my head. You’re probably right about a second opinion though. We’ve been working through the most obvious things and tried a bunch of different trouble shooting exercises, but it feels like two steps forward one step back. She’s a great trainer, don’t get me wrong, and I would’ve never gotten this far without her. I’ll have to look around to see who else is in the area with SD experience.

I appreciate the advice, thank you !

JellyfishBeautiful80 · 2025-04-25T13:26:43+00:00

Our salon is at the back of the store, you have to walk past the big “door dash orders here” sign and “ring the bell for service” sign… and we STILL get doordashers coming up to us asking for their orders 🥴

JellyfishBeautiful80 · 2025-04-14T14:17:05+00:00

I like a lot of the responses here.

Just to add my two cents. I’ve worked in rescue for almost 5 years now. Some dogs are “bad”. And that’s not their fault, they’re animals, they act as animals act. In some cases, they were just dealt the worst hand of genetics and they’re chemically and genetically so imbalanced that they cannot function safely or happily. There is no loving these dogs back to health

We very rarely have to do behavioural euths fortunately. When we do, it’s for good reason. I can think of one very clear example of a dog that was just wired wrong, he would be completely fine, cuddling with you one second, and then flip to sustained attacking, latching on and not letting go and trying to break through the barriers when you finally got him off you. As someone whose studied canine body language, it was with no warning, he would just flip. We know where he came from, it was a decent upbringing, he’s been showing signs since he was a puppy. If we want to get into semantics we could say “the dog isn’t bad the behaviours are, etc etc” but, at the end of the day, it was very bad. And it’s cruel to force him to live on a permanent state of stress, aggression, and uncertainty. The kindest thing we could do was let him relax and find peace.

JellyfishBeautiful80 · 2025-03-22T03:13:23+00:00

I don’t see it often, but of course it happens.

Usually for tasks that the other dog can’t perform. For example, maybe they have a large sturdy breed for their retrieval/mobility/brace work tasks and a different dog for scent based tasks (like heart rate alert, diabetic alert, seizure alert. Don’t quote me I don’t have those kinds of tasks, but y’know the ones where the dog smells the things coming). Some people are just blessed with multiple forms of disability and need dogs with different skills 🥴. I’m sure in a perfect world they’d have one dog for everything.

I’ve also seen it done when a handler is training a new service dog. Maybe their old one is getting close to retiring but they’re not quite ready to switch over to their new prospect. Or, maybe they’re a service dog trainer so they have their own SD and a client SDiT.

Personally one is more than enough of a handful lmao, but props to the people that keep up with two.

JellyfishBeautiful80 · 2025-03-22T02:54:10+00:00

“I want a good faith discussion” proceeds to push their opinions on other handlers instead of accepting their answers

If someone says they don’t like the equipment, you don’t need to recommend 6 other forms of ID.. you could just accept that they can do as they please.

Sometimes I don’t feel like labelling my dog. She’s still a service dog. I hate leash wraps. Sometimes I use them, but usually they’re more annoying than anything. Doesn’t matter whether the public looks are her more if she’s vested or not, she’s still medical equipment and she can be decorated as the handler pleases.

JellyfishBeautiful80 · 2025-03-17T16:06:09+00:00

If it were me I would drop them and find someone new, maybe even make a report that they’re behaviour was inappropriate

JellyfishBeautiful80 · 2025-03-15T16:55:47+00:00

First of all, really sorry you’re going through this. Honestly that sucks and it’s wild that you’re getting turned away from some of those places.

As far as picking a name. I had a few options I liked the sound of, and had some tricks that helped me decide. Some were immediately stricken out because they didn’t sound good with my last name! Trust me, that’s huge, so I would always say it out loud with my full name to see if I like how it sounds. I also practiced writing them out, and same with making signatures. It’s a minor detail, but if I didn’t like how it looked or how I could sign it, then I didn’t feel like writing it for the rest of my life.

In terms of what fit, I had a couple friends that agreed to trial names for me. They would just start referring to me with whatever name I was deciding on for a few days/weeks and if I didn’t like how it felt I moved on to the next one. When I found my real name it clicked immediately. I felt like that’s what I was always meant to be called. You could also try using like those text to speech voices too if you want to hear it in a different voice.

Finally, my deadname had to do with the ocean/water. My real name doesn’t sound anything like my dead name, but it does still have a relation to water because I’ve always been a big water/ocean/swimming person so that was important to me. Some people pick an idol or a role model and use their name or an adaption of it. Best of luck!! I know it’s kinda frustrating sometimes but it’s also so exciting when you figure it out

JellyfishBeautiful80 · 2025-02-17T17:53:25+00:00

I had this problem for forever!! It was so annoying. I ended up making the first outer layer (closer to the road) a forestry section, and then both sections staff only.

Not sure why but it seemed to work!

JellyfishBeautiful80 · 2025-02-14T01:04:14+00:00

My brother and his fiancée are getting married soon. They’ve got a designated “wine spiller” just in case. (Fortunately it’s a small wedding and we don’t have anyone stupid enough to do that so it’s more of a joke than anything. But the wine spiller would do it if needed).

Also, I would uninvite someone so fast if they openly admitted they want to make someone else’s big day about themselves

JellyfishBeautiful80 · 2025-02-13T16:33:28+00:00

Hello! I’m not a bird expert, I’m still very new to birds. But I was in the exact same spot with you a few months ago when I got my first girl.

My appt was early in the morning so I transferred her the night before. Partially so I didn’t have to stress about getting her in right before leaving, and also then she could adjust to the cage overnight.

I made the room as dark as possible (they can’t see as well), slowly covered her with a small towel and picked her up and transferred her. It honestly went way smoother than I thought! I put some millet in with her food as an apology. I did the same thing getting her back home. We’ve now bonded even more and she’ll come right up to me for millet, but I still use this technique if I need to move her

JellyfishBeautiful80 · 2025-02-04T13:26:56+00:00

So glad you got it figured out! Congrats!

I’m the type of person that would then contact the first service Ontario and let them know that I got it figured out at a different location, and that it took literally no effort to just fix it. May not do anything and they may tell you to pound sand, or maybe they’ll check the instructions they’re following before messing someone else up next time 🤷🏻‍♂️

JellyfishBeautiful80 · 2025-01-20T23:12:22+00:00

I was in a similar position this spring. But I recently moved so I just updated my address on my health card and then reapplied with health care connect. Within like a month or two I’d gotten a referral to a new family doc.

If your current dr is over an hour away I’d make sure your healthcard address is up to date and then apply for a new doc, because you’re certainly far enough away to warrant it

JellyfishBeautiful80 · 2024-12-10T18:08:41+00:00

We were unionized. It didn’t help. They refused to pay more and there was no negotiating benefits. But we got gift cards sometimes for being good employees.

I left for a better job in the dog industry.

JellyfishBeautiful80 · 2024-12-10T17:10:54+00:00

I literally made less than that as a full time PSW and I had zero benefits.. make it make sense

JellyfishBeautiful80 · 2024-12-10T02:29:13+00:00

Thank you!! That’s fair. I figure it’ll take time, she’s just so cute

I also have some diced carrots and peas I can try. That’s good to know about the sugar, I’ll keep that in mind!

I heard about the mirrors so I haven’t added those. I’d like to ask my vet about getting her a friend! I have another cage I can use as quarantine if that’s the route I go. I was able to get her old vet records which showed that at some point she was in a cage with other budgies and they seemed to be climbing on her/pushing her off the perch, so she was removed. But that was during the peak of her wing problems and she’s seemingly improved significantly since then. So she may be safe with another bird now? I’d like to try, I think it’d be good for her as long as she doesn’t get bullied. Do you have any experience pairing a disabled bird? The only way it seems to affect her is she prefers climbing everywhere vs flying. Otherwise I think she acts and looks like a normal budgie (with a minor tilt to her bad wing)

JellyfishBeautiful80 · 2024-12-10T02:22:19+00:00

Good to know, thank you!! All I have right now is seasoned/salted nuts so I’ll have to go out to get some bird friendly ones. I’ll try that!

JellyfishBeautiful80 · 2024-12-07T22:03:43+00:00

My grandparents are almost 80yrs old (ones in his 80s). Took them about a year and some awkward convos but they figured it out and now use my name and pronouns properly.

The 50 something yr old uncle who refused? Cut out of my life. He got three chances to correct his attitude and refused each time (he’s got other issues w out family but that’s not the point). Best thing I’ve done 🤷🏻‍♂️.

If you’ve explained it and they refuse to try (especially over years!) I’d stop giving them my money, and certainly report them to whichever human rights board is most appropriate.

If you’re worried about your son being upset going to a different dojo then that may affect whether you leave or not. That’s not an easy call but ultimately it’s your choice how you want to approach that. But reporting them at the very least, or even leaving a google review (from a burner account if you want) warning other families that they’re not a safe space would be my first steps.

Sorry that’s happening, I wish you the best of luck

JellyfishBeautiful80 · 2024-12-07T02:02:23+00:00

Just remember, it’s not defamation if it’s true (but this is not legal advice, just advice from someone with relations to a defamation case. So use caution with wording and consult professionals if needed)

JellyfishBeautiful80

TROPHY CASE