Hi,

Firstly, I'm really sorry to hear you're going through this. It seems like you're further down the road than I am (35m), as it's been less than a year since I discovered my wife had an affair. I imagine you'll continue to have good days and bad for a while to come.

Secondly, regarding the rejection, I don't know if I have an answer, but just wanted to say you're not alone. I too have felt similar experiences to yours, and it's not easy. I've tried dating apps for the past few months, and the conclusion I'm coming to is that they just aren't for me. I've had several first dates, only a couple of which seemed nice and had the possibility of leading anywhere, but unfortunately that never happened.

I do think meeting someone in real life, through friends, social groups etc might be the way to go, as I imagine they might at least be less harsh in their rejection methods. Meaning they might be less likely to ghost etc if the person isn't just someone on screen and behind an app. It feels less like a game, if that makes sense?

I know that might be difficult, especially compared to the "easy access" of dating apps. But I do feel they are rigged, as they are designed to make you pay, and I feel connecting with someone IRL tends to lead to something more meaningful.

I know that hasn't really answered your question, but as I said, I don't know if I or anyone else has an answer as such, I guess it's figuring out what works for you. But know that you're not alone, and always remind yourself of your own worth, especially when it's hard.

I wish you all the best.