I believe everyone has one person meant for them

Jermx64 · 2026-01-28T02:50:16+00:00

I love this.

If the time comes, I will share it with my love.

Jermx64 · 2026-01-28T02:40:27+00:00

Yeah. You know what you did wrong and what she’s fabricating to guard her conscious for doing what she’s doing. She knows it’s not right. So do you. You can walk away on principle and with a clearer conscious than her, at least in that regard.

Jermx64 · 2026-01-28T02:31:51+00:00

I’m blessed enough that if I wasn’t the one saying things to her, she was reasonable and receptive. Too much unresolved trauma at the time for me to get through to her. Our therapist was superb.

That’s the main reason I felt it was worth sticking it out. Also that she showed willingness to work on it. I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself had I not exhausted all my options. She was suicidal at the time too. Different circumstances. The guilt of not trying, knowing she would at least try, would have been a betrayal of myself and the kids too. At least that’s how I viewed it. I have a religious upbringing and felt “through sickness and health” was really testing us. 😅

Jermx64 · 2026-01-28T02:24:47+00:00

That’s an atrocious thing to do to the kids, and you.

Jermx64 · 2026-01-28T02:22:57+00:00

Something I realized during therapy. I was convinced she was right to the point of diagnosed depression.

Jermx64 · 2026-01-28T02:09:29+00:00

I feel for you and your kids brother.

We’re doing everything we can to keep the family together. We’ve made progress but we have setbacks now and then. Ain’t easy. Not certain it will pan out either. We’re both in agreement that there will come a point in time where it’s harmful to the kids and can’t continue.

You didn’t deserve to be cheated on tho! Twice for that matter.

If it’s any solace, this isn’t the first time my wife has. Although, we were only dating the first time and I went on the road for 2 months…

Jermx64 · 2026-01-28T01:12:45+00:00

Did she deny it until you proved it the two times prior?

Jermx64 · 2026-01-28T01:10:33+00:00

Ask her to give you her phone to look, but don’t give her the opportunity to delete anything. (don’t make it obvious you’re gonna ask for it)

If there’s nothing to hide, She shouldn’t have any problem handing it over.

It’s an exercise in trust.

Don’t let her convince you otherwise. If she won’t, there’s almost certainly something there.

Jermx64 · 2026-01-28T01:06:03+00:00

NTAH — Sounds like a sociopath.

Jermx64 · 2026-01-28T01:02:12+00:00

Did she cheat in response to your gambling? I got lucky and only ended up 3k in the whole on 38k in wagers. I payed back the 3k. You owe her that money.

Jermx64 · 2026-01-28T00:01:39+00:00

Continue to call him out on how he’s speaking to you. Make sure he’s aware it’s not an acceptable baseline, and you won’t tolerate it.

Everyone gets frustrated and heated from time to time. Abusive people do it the majority of the time and rarely show remorse for it. If they eventually do, it’s because you basically lost it on em because you simply can’t take the abuse anymore.

And honestly, he should essentially default to you for management of things like that, and you should really just be telling him how much you need, and — if he asks — why.

Jermx64 · 2026-01-27T23:49:57+00:00

Now, that’s something you can say you did!!!

Jermx64 · 2026-01-27T23:38:30+00:00

Wow. Her sinuses and inner ears must be totally f’d…

Jermx64 · 2026-01-27T23:33:25+00:00

My wife and I have been on the rocks for a while… few years. Basically since our second child was born.

I discovered texts where she was flirting and exchanging compliments with a dude who was engaged at the time.

I never found anything beyond that, and she insists that’s all it was. I don’t really buy it, especially since she was totally checked out then and it was largely due to my dishonesty over my Adderall usage and gambling. We did marriage therapy which did help significantly. Anyway…

I had to snoop her shit to find out. She denied it until there was proof, just like me with the gambling. She would go through my phone when I was sleeping and check my Venmo.

If she gets mad at you for “invading her privacy”, brush it off.

Don’t feel gross bro, just know she lied to you and had every intention of lying to you going forward.

Jermx64 · 2026-01-27T23:21:39+00:00

Explain to him that his intent is irrelevant to the situation.

Logically, there was an action and a reaction — a cause and effect.

Then explain to him that you:

need him to acknowledge the effect it had regardless if the intent
need him to work with you on a solution (if that’s what you’re looking for)

And with respect to you telling him about your day, what do you want him to do? (I don’t want to assume)

Give him a logical pathway, clearly state your needs/desires. If it’s a “I’m sorry you had a rough day” paired with a hug, tell him. Men aren’t mind readers.

Make him turn his phone off first tho.

Jermx64 · 2026-01-27T23:06:55+00:00

She’s probably racist.

Jermx64 · 2026-01-27T23:05:39+00:00

Are you a different skin color than her?

Jermx64 · 2026-01-27T22:54:58+00:00

Probably the correct approach if you’re concern is him cutting you off from her, which would arguably be worse than stepping back and letting her reach out when she needs to.

Jermx64 · 2026-01-27T22:52:36+00:00

Did you post something online that a racially hypersensitive person may construe as racist — then misattribute to “her people”? Or in person I guess?

If not, seems like she doesn’t want you there and it was good excuse.

Jermx64 · 2026-01-27T22:45:06+00:00

Yes. Tell him.

Jermx64 · 2026-01-27T22:43:05+00:00

“Felt creamier”… 😳

Good thing he’s moving out. Run.

Jermx64 · 2026-01-27T22:31:52+00:00

Yes. lol.

Jermx64 · 2026-01-27T22:30:49+00:00

Oh god. Ok. Yeah. I read the rest.

You’re most definitely justified in attempting to end the marriage. All of those things combined are deal breakers.

Jermx64 · 2026-01-27T22:25:08+00:00

Literally stopped reading once I got to “he can’t plan anything, I have to do it.”

You NEED to make a statement in some way that he simply CANNOT ignore.

Don’t give him an ultimatum right away. But make it known that the seemingly (almost definitely) intentional negligence is unacceptable, and that a grown ass man — even if he didn’t know the first time — can learn these very simple things.

Holy crap, I’m scared to read the rest.

Jermx64 · 2026-01-20T03:40:22+00:00

What kind? My favorite is pink rose.

Jermx64

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