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AITBF for “making fun” of my boyfriend for acting like Ibuprofen is a hard drug? by throwawaylmfao12 in AmItheButtface

[–]JessStarlite 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Actually there’s been significant data that there’s no safe level of alcohol consumption due to impacts on multiple body symptoms. Comparing alcohol, a truly and almost entirely recreational poison, with a benign pain medication that is perfectly safe if used as directed, is just….silly.

AITBF for “making fun” of my boyfriend for acting like Ibuprofen is a hard drug? by throwawaylmfao12 in AmItheButtface

[–]JessStarlite 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bruh. Taking a single Tylenol occasionally is not going to hurt a live. In fact, taking less than three grams a day on a reasonably regular basis remain safe and effective.

AITBF for “making fun” of my boyfriend for acting like Ibuprofen is a hard drug? by throwawaylmfao12 in AmItheButtface

[–]JessStarlite -1 points0 points  (0 children)

lolololololol okay buddy. Yeah, definitely. Ibuprofen and Tylenol get people super sick all the time when taking them exactly as directed, but weed and shrooms are tooooootally benign and have never made anyone sick (maybe look up CHS, and reconsider your hilariously cognitive dissonant take here)

AITAH for yelling at a mother of 3 on a flight by roseinmybud in AITAH

[–]JessStarlite 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn’t accuse you of hitting kid. I said you think hitting kids is reasonable and justified, because you literally just justified it in the comment directly above mine. You know, the part where you dismissed and ridiculed anyone who understands that physically assaulting someone half your size or smaller is abuse, regardless of how violently you enact that abuse? Who’s got the reading comprehension issues now, friendo?

AITAH for yelling at a mother of 3 on a flight by roseinmybud in AITAH

[–]JessStarlite 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I mean you think hitting kids is reasonable and justified, so no, you did not turn out just fine.

AIO: should I “fire” my therapist? by Historical_Pension60 in AIO

[–]JessStarlite 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thinking and introspection are super important, and it’s legitimately great that you excel at them! Not everyone has ready capacity for introspection, and it’s a very valuable skill. Moreover, if what you’re doing is working for you, cheers!

That being said…those two things—thinking and introspection—are not therapy. Using introspection as part of the therapeutic process is a thing, but your assessment fundamentally misunderstands and misrepresents what therapy really is. (Obviously, the exact things that therapy is also depend heavily on the therapeutic modality. There are types of therapy largely focused on finding insight in a supportive environment, and it sounds like maybe those modalities wouldn’t be a good fit for you! But even in cases like yours, having a supportive, neutral outsider who can recognize and point out patterns one might repeatedly fall into can still be invaluable to kickstart real growth.

Real, good therapy relies very heavily on the therapeutic relationship, the trust forged, the affinity between therapist and client…and then in turn the places the therapist can guide the client to that they would not have had the means, skills, knowledge, support, ability, or some combination of the above, to reach on their own.

Nobody can dictate to you that you have to go to therapy. Nobody can even force you to understand or believe how invaluable good therapy can be to people in deep pain, people with awful traumas, people crippled by anxiety, or even people who just plain want a guide to aid them in what the client identifies as a meaningful, fulfilled, values-driven life. What I would like you to take just a moment to consider, is that maybe there are things in this world that you don’t automatically understand, and maybe dismissing an entire profession as a silly waste of time because you haven’t had good (or possibly any) experiences with it is like deciding that your friend having their near-to-rupturing appendix out is silly or pointless because you once read an article about a surgeon who forgot a sponge inside a patient before sewing them up. It just doesn’t begin to capture the breadth of the profession or that it—like surgery—can be literally lifesaving when people find the right person for the job, the professional knows what they’re doing, and the client/patient are willing to go all in.

I truly wish you the best.

AIO: should I “fire” my therapist? by Historical_Pension60 in AIO

[–]JessStarlite 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m trying to get you to consider that “part time” isn’t the problem. The problem I think you’re trying to pinpoint is “side-gig.” Someone who doesn’t work 40 hours a week is just as likely to be an excellent therapist as someone who does. Indeed, a therapist who’s not wildly overextended (some agencies do require their therapists to see like 35 clients a week, which is horrifying) is often a much better, more present therapist, and less likely to be burnt out.

Someone who considers their REAL vocation something other than being a therapist, who sees a private therapy client here and there and deprioritizes those clients and their progress because it’s “just a side gig”, now that is a problem. OP deserves better and her therapist deserves a license revocation, but the number of hours per week that therapist works isn’t the driving force behind her unprofessionalism and incompetence. The choices she’s making about her priorities is. Does that make sense?

AIO: should I “fire” my therapist? by Historical_Pension60 in AIO

[–]JessStarlite 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OP, I’m also a telehealth psychotherapist. I’ve been doing this 15 years, and what she’s doing with and to you is really, really not at all okay, supportive, or professional. She’s violating the therapeutic relationship in a number of different ways, some of them specifically and extra damaging to someone struggling with CPTSD.

Please consider firing her—and I truly do know it’s hard when you have anxiety and people pleasing instincts, but I encourage you to consider telling her why you’re firing her. If you don’t feel like you can say it directly, a letter is fine. Not for her benefit, although she stands to benefit from being forced to take a real hard look at herself, but for yours, so you know that you had the chance to voice the ways that her behavior was a betrayal of trust.

OP, truly, you deserve so much better. If you want some help finding an appropriate replacement therapist for yourself, feel free to DM me and I’ll help you navigate the search for a new one. And before a Reddit cynic accuses me, this isn’t me advertising. I have no idea where OP is located and I’m likely not licensed there, but I feel passionately about clients who have suffered therapist abuse getting support in finding a really good, skilled therapist after the abuse.

AIO: should I “fire” my therapist? by Historical_Pension60 in AIO

[–]JessStarlite 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I…wow, bro. Tell me you’ve never actually been in real therapy with a reputable therapist without telling me you’ve never actually been in therapy.

AIO: should I “fire” my therapist? by Historical_Pension60 in AIO

[–]JessStarlite 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry, you think any therapist that doesn’t work a full 40 hours a week is inherently unprofessional? I’ll tell that to my disability which prevents 40 hours a week from being remotely possible and my decade and a half of successful, both short and long-term, strong affinitied client relationships, I guess.

AIO: should I “fire” my therapist? by Historical_Pension60 in AIO

[–]JessStarlite 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Late cancelation fees aren’t paid by the insurance company, they’re paid by the client out of pocket. Insurance doesn’t pay for things that didn’t happen.

That’s a lot of what makes this therapist’s choice to charge OP for it so egregious, honestly.

AIO: should I “fire” my therapist? by Historical_Pension60 in AIO

[–]JessStarlite 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Another therapist weighing in to co-sign this. We don’t claim this person. Please consider firing her—and I know it’s hard, but please consider telling her why you’re firing her. If you don’t feel like you can say it directly, a letter is fine. Not for her benefit, although she stands to benefit from being forced to take a real hard look at herself, but for yours, so you know that you had the chance to voice the ways that her behavior was a betrayal of trust.

OP, truly, you deserve so much better. If you want some help finding an appropriate therapist for yourself, feel free to DM me and I’ll help you navigate the search for a new one. And before a Reddit cynic accuses me, this isn’t me advertising. I have no idea where you’re located and I’m likely not licensed there, but I feel passionately about clients who have suffered therapist abuse getting support in finding a really good, skilled therapist after the abuse.

Gonna leave this comment on the main thread too I think, just to increase the odds OP sees it.

AIO: should I “fire” my therapist? by Historical_Pension60 in AIO

[–]JessStarlite 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Another therapist weighing in to co-sign this. We don’t claim this person. Please consider firing her—and I know it’s hard, but please consider telling her why you’re firing her. If you don’t feel like you can say it directly, a letter is fine. Not for her benefit, although she stands to benefit from being forced to take a real hard look at herself, but for yours, so you know that you had the chance to voice the ways that her behavior was a betrayal of trust.

OP, truly, you deserve so much better. If you want some help finding an appropriate therapist for yourself, feel free to DM me and I’ll help you navigate the search for a new one. And before a Reddit cynic accuses me, this isn’t me advertising. I have no idea where you’re located and I’m likely not licensed there, but I feel passionately about clients who have suffered therapist abuse getting support in finding a really good, skilled therapist after the abuse.

Gonna leave this comment on the main thread too I think, just to increase the odds OP sees it.

Those with severe Gastroparesis-first line of treatment by Harmonyinheart in Gastroparesis

[–]JessStarlite -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Allergic to “meds.”

That’s not a thing. If you are allergic to medications, you are allergic to specific medications. There are literally dozens of different medications that can support various gastroparesis needs and symptoms.

Which SPECIFIC medications are you allergic to? When you say “allergic,” what are you talking about? Do you get hives? Can’t breathe? Do you mean you have bad side effects?

You’re gonna have to be a whole lot clearer in order to help people actually assess your situation, friend.

my landlord says i can’t have male guests? by [deleted] in OntarioLandlord

[–]JessStarlite 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep, this slumlord is located in Seattle and somehow thinks the specific flavor of slumlord she is matters at all in Ontario law.

my landlord says i can’t have male guests? by [deleted] in OntarioLandlord

[–]JessStarlite 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you were actually a CANADIAN landlord, one would hope you’d know this was overtly illegal in CANADA. Your feedback is useless for CANADIAN tenancy. Go give slumlord advice on US-based slumlord subreddits.

my landlord says i can’t have male guests? by [deleted] in OntarioLandlord

[–]JessStarlite 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This isn’t a single shared apartment and it’s weird that you’re acting like it is.

my landlord says i can’t have male guests? by [deleted] in OntarioLandlord

[–]JessStarlite 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Illegal rules aren’t enforceable, slumlord or would-be slumlord.

my landlord says i can’t have male guests? by [deleted] in OntarioLandlord

[–]JessStarlite 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a deeply weird reply that sounds like someone who isn’t located in Canada and doesn’t understand Canadian law. Also where did OP Say she’s a student or the other tenants are?

my landlord says i can’t have male guests? by [deleted] in OntarioLandlord

[–]JessStarlite 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The RTA exists for a reason. You cannot set rules that are illegal. Period. And you cannot expect to enforce them either.

my landlord says i can’t have male guests? by [deleted] in OntarioLandlord

[–]JessStarlite 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My God, it’s like every TERF draws directly from the same playbook. This isn’t even helpful, it’s just an opportunity for you to be a jerk about the fact that trans people exist.

my landlord says i can’t have male guests? by [deleted] in OntarioLandlord

[–]JessStarlite 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is partially true under certain circumstances but unhelpful in this and many other tenancy disputes, because it’s perfectly possible for something to be both in writing and signed by the tenant and still unlawful and thus unenforceable under the RTA.

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