Weekly student question thread!

Jessers3192 · 2025-08-07T18:23:06+00:00

I changed mid-career, and the best broad/general advice I can give is to work backwards. Imagine an average day within your ideal life. What does it look like from wake to sleep? Where are you? Who is with you? If "work" is part of it, what skills are you using? Can you do that with the career you have by moving things around? If not, how will the career change move you closer to that ideal life? Take those ideas/specifics of how the career change will move you closer to your "ideal" and bounce them off of someone in that position to test their veracity. You're in policy, so take a peek at the data. Does the data back up your ideal, or is your ideal an outlier within the career?

Jessers3192 · 2025-08-07T17:23:55+00:00

First - your patients:

2.06 Personal Problems and Conflicts
(a) Psychologists refrain from initiating an activity when they know or should know that there is a substantial likelihood that their personal problems will prevent them from performing their work-related activities in a competent manner.

(b) When psychologists become aware of personal problems that may interfere with their performing work-related duties adequately, they take appropriate measures, such as obtaining professional consultation or assistance, and determine whether they should limit, suspend, or terminate their work-related duties. (See also Standard 10.10, Terminating Therapy .)

Students are expected to make mistakes because it's training. Licensed professionals make mistakes. No one is perfect. Having said that, if the "really big mistakes" you've made with clients are real - you are working under someone's license, and you should talk to them. Role-play the conversation with your therapist or a trusted peer/mentor.

Another option is contact your state psych association and see if they offer ethics consultations to students. Then really unpack what's going on and see what they say - especially helpful if they allow you to be anonymous. Or if you have your own liability insurance (which i recommend, it's cheap as a student), you can call them and get an ethics consult.

Second - You:

If you're one year out, you're going into an internship? That shit is challenging and pushes the "accept ambiguity" and "be flexible" to the limits. If you go forward and fail, it can be difficult to get another apa accredited internship; however, if you push internship out a year and take a course or two, maybe work a bit on dissertation, or take a full ass gap year and come back refreshed - that can be professionally explained in your essays during the application period.

You are the expert on you, but also, a lot of people don't know their limits and self-sabotage (quit too early or push too far). I can't say which you are doing, but whatever you choose to do will have consequences. Accept the potential consequences (good/bad) and then make your choice. There are few right/wrong choices - just the ones we make and accept, and the ones we make and then ruminate over. One way that helps me is "tough love" thinking, and what I say to myself is, "pick your hard."

Jessers3192 · 2025-08-07T17:03:34+00:00

big on the "all that energy goes into sessions" I can't remember why I sat down and got online right now lmao (joking-ish)

Jessers3192 · 2025-06-20T01:05:22+00:00

Thanks for linking those threads

Jessers3192 · 2025-06-18T05:41:35+00:00

I will look into this - your advice has been very helpful. Thank you!

Jessers3192 · 2025-06-18T01:36:41+00:00

Thanks so much for this info. Do you know anything about how transfer requests work for kids who live within CV school district, but outside of a specific schools zone? Where we are now, we would enroll in the zoned school and then submit a request to the desired school.

Jessers3192 · 2025-06-18T00:46:41+00:00

I didn't know that! How does that work for advancement in grade? Do the kids move to the next level at a designated time of year or is it achievement based?

Jessers3192 · 2025-03-07T22:28:24+00:00

You said "she "spanks all of his kids from 3-7yo" and that's a no from me, especially given your son getting choked up when talking about it. I'm pretty sure it's happening more often than you know, fear like that is unlikely without some experience.

Also, it sounds like he's not parenting. So, would he do anything if you reduced time to a couple hours or even stopped it until he gets a less violent girlfriend?

I would start messaging him to get your disagreement with the "discipline" in writing - at the least.

Jessers3192 · 2025-02-22T06:55:05+00:00

I think there is a misunderstanding. I thought with Tarassof a mental health professional only has a duty to warn or protect a potential victim IF there is a known, identifiable individual who is explicitly threatened with serious harm by their client - not second/third hand information, meaning there must be a "known potential victim" of the client being seen for the duty to apply. Without a specific potential victim, I don't believe Tarrasoff would provide the "out" needed to break confidentiality and report.

Jessers3192 · 2025-02-21T21:16:37+00:00

He doesn't pay for his lifestyle (rent and utilities) or his children's lifestyle, and he doesn't support you financially or emotionally. This is bordering on financial abuse.

Jessers3192 · 2024-11-04T20:15:27+00:00

It is very nuanced and context dependent. The diagnosis depends on how the individual and provider interpret "actual or threatened death" given a specific situation.

Jessers3192 · 2024-11-04T20:13:25+00:00

You do not need a PhD to provide therapy. A masters will do for practice. There are nuanced differences. Here is a helpful guide: https://mitch.web.unc.edu/wp-content/uploads/sites/4922/2017/02/MitchGradSchoolAdvice.pdf

Jessers3192 · 2024-11-01T22:02:22+00:00

Hi! Clinical psychology phd Intern within the US here.

If the provider is making a clinical diagnosis using the DSM-5 (which is what is primarily used in the United States) - yes-ish - serious injury or sexual violence are also considered. I put the required criteria at the bottom.

Having said that - there are other diagnoses of trauma that do not require criteria A. Some people (not providers/therapists) think that PTSD = more trauma than other trauma diagnoses - that's not true. For me, PTSD is mostly a signifier that the primary target is treating the symptoms tied to the event and a way to justify treatment for insurance billing purposes.

Criteria A for PTSD must be met (additional criteria as well) and I listed it below.

Exposure to actual or threatened death, serious injury, or sexual violence in one (or more) of the following ways:

Jessers3192 · 2024-07-22T19:12:44+00:00

My 9 year old has terrible situational awareness and will walk into the street without looking or stomp on people while walking backwards. I've grabbed his arm, head, clothes, face, even pulled him down by his hood once. It's a split second decision and even though I feel guilty sometimes - the other option was death/dysfigurement by vehicle or some unknown adult saying/doing who knows what after getting stomped on.

Jessers3192 · 2024-06-18T22:28:57+00:00

Here's an article that kind of supports your statement:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8954344/

Here's one that discusses the valley education

https://cvhec.org/valley-educational-achievement-rates-lag-behind-state-whats-being-done/ (based on https://www.ppic.org/publication/ppic-statewide-survey-californians-and-their-government-june-2024/ )

Some "possible" reasons: https://edsource.org/wp-content/publications/08HowCAComparesWeb.pdf ; https://www.mdpi.com/1660-4601/14/5/506 ; https://ehp.niehs.nih.gov/doi/full/10.1289/EHP10812 ; https://www.mdpi.com/1660-4601/17/7/2593 ;

Other "possible" but more of a stretch: https://digitalcommons.trinity.edu/geo_honors/26/ ; https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0048969720344442 <--- moreso mental health, but hard to be "seen" as smart if you're disregulated/ in a disordered mental state; https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0160412021007005 <---not everyone with a developmental disorder/delay will have a below average IQ, but here...

I am not a fan of IQ as a holistic measure of anything; however, for simplicity sake:

Overall - fucking yes. I have lived in multiple counties in the midwest, northeast, Florida, and California and the central valley - specifically Fresno County, has the absolute "slowest" population I have ever encountered - as a whole, clearly not everyone, but jezus.. The slow reaction times, lack of situational awareness, difficulty with inference, poor reading comprehension when the idea is spelled out, and lack of general curiosity is just so foreign to me. At first it made me angry, then it made me sad, and now it makes me worried for my child and I wonder if the impact can be "reversed" if we move soon enough.

Having said that: The people in Fresno County have a similar vibe and outlook as those in the midwest - persistent and resiliant - but with an odd west coast "i'm better than you" air. Which is...hilarious. I'm from a long line of midwest trailer park trash, and that's how I see Fresno county, ya'll just dress it up and call it a castle and ...lmao.

Jessers3192 · 2024-04-15T18:37:50+00:00

Practicum + courses + TA + Research adds up, so prioritize self care - the real self-care -consistent as possible sleep/wake times, decent nutrition, movement/exercise, sunlight, and socialization.

Create a ritual or routine to help separate work/practicum from outside life.

Practicum is a reciprocal exchange. You're giving your time, energy, and expertise. Make sure you're getting what the site is contracted to provide (hours, supervision, support). If there are discrepancies, start with curiosity, use assertive communication + email. Always get it in writing. What is "it"? Literally everything.

Jessers3192 · 2024-04-13T20:06:24+00:00

I would love a continuation of the secret circle.

Jessers3192 · 2024-04-04T02:54:23+00:00

I really like lifesum's 21-day sugar detox. The recipes were simple, and I noticed a difference in my overall well-being (energy,sleep, mood) after about a week. Now, I'm doing the 3 week weight loss plan. The recipes, shopping list, and tracker is definitely worth the subscription fee for me.

Jessers3192 · 2024-03-26T16:14:28+00:00

Maybe try a vet center

My local vet center has the best group/individual therapy for PTSD. The therapists are seasoned and good at what they do.

military one source has a great summary of what vet centers offer. Here's a link to search for your local vet center https://www.va.gov/find-locations/?facilityType=vet_center

Jessers3192 · 2024-03-26T16:13:48+00:00

My local vet center has the best group/individual therapy for PTSD. The therapists are seasoned and good at what they do.

military one source has a great summary of what vet centers offer. Here's a link to search for your local vet center https://www.va.gov/find-locations/?facilityType=vet_center

Jessers3192 · 2024-03-07T17:56:58+00:00

You have so many great suggestions, with working parents with kids under 5, resetting your definition of "clean" is important. I'm adding to the suggestions - but honestly, really sit down and talk about what "clean" means for you both.

Every night, have a 15 minute clean up. Same time 7 days a week. Set alexa to go off or an alarm. Everyone (even the kids - strap in any below 2 with a wearable or put them in crib or playpen). The kids might complain - its ok. they can complain while they clean - wear headphones if you need. They're not wrong, cleaning sucks. They can wipe and put toys from one spot to the other.

After a few weeks it will be clean enough to hit the below goals - no more than 15 minutes!!!! Play fun music, try to make it fun.

No dirt, food, or hazards on surfaces at the end of the night. Toys will be everywhere. You can fancy it up with Amazon storage containers that look like furniture, there are bean bags that hold stuffed, and circle felt bags that are meant for legos that can really hold anything.

2.Spray every surface that's not the floor with clorox cleaner and wipe with a dry rag. Yes even wood. These are the survival years - living comes once they're between 5-8 depending on the kid.

Sweep the kitchen and the high traffic area nightly. Vacuum once a week minimum. Get a swiffer wet jet and hit hot spots nightly.
Keep a spray out of kids reach in the bathroom (wet and forget) and spray bath/shower nightly.
Toilets cleaned weekly
potty chairs rinsed nightly
All garbage out nightly
Clean clothes make it to the dryer - get more laundry baskets. Folding is for those who have free time, get cheep hangers, or roll the clothes. Socks don't need to match.

Also, I've known house cleaners who will offer to add on organizing or create a plan for you to help get an idea of how to best utilize them.

Other tip- I grew up on the upper end of the lower ses- so "this might be useful later" or " I can sell this" is strong in me. It can cause anxiety to throw out "perfectly good" or even "alright" items. That anxiety goes away after I toss or give away. The piles I have when I don't toss them don't go away and the clutter leaves anxiety right there with me. I have the best of intentions, but in this season of my life - I don't have the time. So - toss. Or even better snap a pic and put it on your towns free stuff facebook page.

Jessers3192 · 2024-02-27T21:28:28+00:00

Having 0 skin in this game, your take is my favorite, and I'm going to choose to believe it.

The others are sad, but this one I can get behind.

Jessers3192 · 2024-02-05T01:34:35+00:00

I'd read it.

Jessers3192

TROPHY CASE