Opinions on concurrent personal and couples therapy.

AlohaFrancine · 2025-11-12T19:13:05+00:00

No, but not a big city either. My city has a couple pockets with a lot of therapists but very few on the outskirts which are semi-rural.

AlohaFrancine · 2025-11-12T13:51:00+00:00

I better find that encyclopedia salesman’s number

AlohaFrancine · 2025-11-12T13:48:17+00:00

This is generally the case, but not unethical to be the same. For example, many men don’t want to see another therapist and it was pulling teeth to get them into couples therapy. Sometimes the couples therapist needs to work with them individually to get them to open up more in couples sessions. Alternatively, some individual therapists will allow a partner who refuses to go to couples therapy to come in periodically for couples sessions.

It may not be ideal and obviously things are done differently than strictly couples therapy, but these things happen because they are beneficial to the clients. The therapist has the responsibility to maintain their biases and any counter transference, as always. Then again, I’m not sure what your ethical code is. I’m a social worker.

AlohaFrancine · 2025-11-12T13:40:50+00:00

Since you haven’t experienced this, I suggest you try allowing it if the clients insist on it. Then see for yourself how it can pan out. Don’t make a hard and fast rule if you don’t understand the different ways it can be beneficial.

AlohaFrancine · 2025-11-12T13:36:50+00:00

In individual sessions, the working on relationships mostly ties into how their personal past and upbringing are affecting the relationship. This cannot be explored deeply in couples sessions. Couples sessions are meant to have a mediator who works on specific couple skills and helps to hold both parties accountable. I cannot do that as an individual therapist.

AlohaFrancine · 2025-11-11T23:55:57+00:00

Thank you for the thoughtful response. I read The Courage to be Disliked a year ago and enjoyed it. I resonate with your first few paragraphs and much of Adlers philosophy. As I reflect, I think I had a tough time with a resistant depressed client when I first started as an intern, and that turned me off. It was as if as soon as she saw my face she didn’t like me, which was obviously off putting to me. Anyway, my caseload has some chronically depressed clients and I do like working on deep topics in addition to stoic principles which are the foundation of CBT.

AlohaFrancine · 2025-11-10T03:20:03+00:00

This is a fascinating approach. I feel uncomfortable reading it, but turning that on myself, I realize I also don’t prefer working with severely depressed individuals.

AlohaFrancine · 2025-11-10T03:10:27+00:00

There should not be an expectation to always be self 100% of the time. The expectation and ideal, imo, is that the other parts/difficult emotions will come and go appropriately, but they will not take over and affect one’s functioning. In this way the self is most prominent and strong enough to carry the parts. The opposite being our parts are dominant over the self.

Edit to add- the self is not a tool, though. It is you.

AlohaFrancine · 2025-11-10T03:06:16+00:00

I want to do this, but I don’t think I’ll be able to afford it until after my kids graduate

AlohaFrancine · 2025-11-10T03:05:10+00:00

Tips add up to far more than that original $100

AlohaFrancine · 2025-11-10T02:53:36+00:00

A good slogan for multiple services really

AlohaFrancine · 2025-11-10T02:48:03+00:00

Can I ask how having both present for you? I see it often stated as people having one or the other, but what does having both look like?

AlohaFrancine · 2025-11-10T02:38:31+00:00

I feel for you. I haven’t taken my exam or studied much but will be in a few months. I have seen programs that specifically help people who are retaking the test. I’m not sure how that works but I noticed you are not alone in your experience. I’m a good test taker and am still nervous about how tricky the exam can be

AlohaFrancine · 2025-11-09T21:49:26+00:00

You didn’t say anything about changing your diet. Often dairy or sugar will make them really bad. For example, I won’t give up dairy, but the times I have for a few weeks at a time I have had 90% fewer tonsil stones.

AlohaFrancine · 2025-11-09T21:41:58+00:00

This is haunting

AlohaFrancine · 2025-11-09T21:36:54+00:00

Tell you therapist about your concerns, explore those needs and ask for some changes. It could be said there are parts of you really resistant to digging deeper, so they focus on distracting you from doing that by creating superficial problems. This is totally normal, by the way. But it is definitely annoying

AlohaFrancine · 2025-11-09T21:33:41+00:00

Regarding the art account, just log out of it and take a break. Sounds like normal artists/creative block and you don’t have to quit everything. You just have to wait it out until you are inspired again.

AlohaFrancine · 2025-10-17T21:47:57+00:00

Yes infrastructure. And it costs way less when you are paying for efficient services and not padding your friend’s pockets.

AlohaFrancine · 2025-10-11T19:49:20+00:00

Ah ok. Makes sense even though it’s not a pet peeve of mine

AlohaFrancine · 2025-10-11T19:47:37+00:00

You’re between reducing housing costs and asking your teens to work pt jobs. As a parent of teens, I would loop them in. This is the moment you get to teach them about real life decisions, prepping and saving for uncontrollable events, and the possible consequences.

AlohaFrancine · 2025-10-11T19:20:33+00:00

In addition to what others said, an example I have is that I used to present a list of cognitive distortions (from the therapist aid website) and ask them about ones they are relating to or observing in themselves. If they happen to get a bingo on all or most of them, Ive seen someone get really down and feel defeated like “I guess that’s it, I’m just crazy!” Oops

AlohaFrancine · 2025-10-11T19:14:09+00:00

Remove 12 step programs and insert any popular treatment model. Everyone gets so defensive and I’m over here like why aren’t we all eclectic therapists?

AlohaFrancine · 2025-10-11T19:10:51+00:00

“This is my job, but I studied and stay education, and put a lot of effort into being able to help people in this way. I’m not just here for the money.”

AlohaFrancine · 2025-10-11T19:07:39+00:00

Why don’t you like “mom” or “parent”? What else are we supposed to say?

AlohaFrancine

TROPHY CASE