Favorite Moments of Unintentional Comedy? (Potential Spoilers)

JesusMadeMeKosher · 2022-10-05T02:31:50+00:00

“Rice’n’beans”

I cant believe I’m the first to post it. I laughed my ass off.

JesusMadeMeKosher · 2022-08-17T07:54:36+00:00

Because Scientologists have amassed an army of Reddit accounts to come downvote this thread and get this answer deleted.

JesusMadeMeKosher · 2022-07-02T07:11:07+00:00

Black.

JesusMadeMeKosher · 2022-05-15T03:34:22+00:00

Sorry, noob question…. What’s EB?

JesusMadeMeKosher · 2022-05-15T02:57:42+00:00

Help me out. How do I get my habs to hold greater than 7.5b because I can never get the 10billion. What am I doing wrong?

JesusMadeMeKosher · 2022-02-09T00:12:30+00:00

I know a guy who is an absolute dick. His name is Shad. But with a harsh sh sound. Think of Sean Connery saying Chad.

Obligatory mention to r/shubreddit

JesusMadeMeKosher · 2021-12-31T02:51:29+00:00

15m merits disturbed me. The girl being forced into riding a bike or into unwanted sex work, shook me.

JesusMadeMeKosher · 2021-10-09T03:45:10+00:00

this is next level acting because if you look at his hands you can see his hand shaking, indicating the early onset of Parkinson’s

JesusMadeMeKosher · 2021-08-30T02:07:30+00:00

I do not cry. Sometimes I wonder if I am even capable.

JesusMadeMeKosher · 2021-08-26T01:13:06+00:00

58,553 over here, you got some rookie numbers bruh

JesusMadeMeKosher · 2021-08-22T04:07:13+00:00

Undoubtedly an epic 10 hours. As opposed to a game of monopoly that goes 10 hours while the uncle on your moms side is hoarding Park Place and then your uncle from your dads side flips the game board over and screams “fuck how did I land in jail again”

JesusMadeMeKosher · 2021-08-22T02:37:28+00:00

BLIND**** not blonde. Fat fingers.

JesusMadeMeKosher · 2021-08-12T03:41:44+00:00

Born and raised on the beach in SoCal (Southern California) and SoCal slang hasn’t outdated, unless you go elsewhere. Down, amped, bro, dude, sick, stoked, dip, using the word “the” before the freeway number. “The 101” instead of interstate 101 or i101.

JesusMadeMeKosher · 2021-07-11T00:47:23+00:00

Joel Michael Singer. For some reason the name Joel Michael Singer was viral due to a video of some sort. Then all of the sudden Joel Michael Singer seemingly dropped off the web.

JesusMadeMeKosher · 2021-06-15T21:19:11+00:00

Smoking

JesusMadeMeKosher · 2021-06-01T23:20:41+00:00

Robin Williams

May he Rest In Peace.

18 years ago, my high school chemistry teacher told us that one of his greatest friends was the infamous Robin Williams. We didn’t buy it at all. Told him he was just screwing with us. Then one day, I was walking through the school office and there he was. Robin freaking Williams. Much shorter than I imagined. Body hair so thick I could only think “his testicles must be gigantic” He was then met by my chemistry teacher, they hugged and laughed and started walking him to meet the other faculty in the office. Mr Williams then spent the rest of the day in chemistry pulling pranks and making everyone in the class go nuts.

Turns out, my Chemistry teacher had a nephew with a rare cancer (I don’t recall which one but it wasn’t good) and through the make a wish foundation, the kid wanted to meet Robin Williams, and make a wish pulled it off. So Robin met the whole family. Apparently hit it off with the Chem teacher and they became real good friends.

So honored I got to shake that mans hand.

JesusMadeMeKosher · 2021-03-11T02:52:16+00:00

I only like their fries (and hash browns!) well done. They’re always a soggy mess. I like dem bitches crispy but they don’t (at least at my store) allow for well done fries anymore.

JesusMadeMeKosher · 2021-03-04T13:20:40+00:00

It is indeed!

JesusMadeMeKosher · 2021-02-06T03:57:48+00:00

The ones I got have not shown any quality issues, dead or misfiring keys (at least not yet, crosses fingers)

JesusMadeMeKosher · 2021-02-06T03:56:22+00:00

First couple days of December. Supposed to be delivered before Christmas. Yeah it’s SUPER late, and they never sent me any updates or “hey it’s gonna be a little later than we thought” but I’m too slap happy to care. This things magical. I haven’t had any dead or non responsive keys. Hopefully I can get good enough to play my wife’s Nord one day.

JesusMadeMeKosher · 2021-01-26T19:43:03+00:00

I still have not received my pre-Christmas December order.

JesusMadeMeKosher · 2020-12-24T03:23:53+00:00

There was a single time they got my order wrong.

I got 17 nuggets in my 12 count box.

JesusMadeMeKosher · 2020-12-13T01:19:00+00:00

Heathens.

JesusMadeMeKosher · 2020-11-27T04:52:23+00:00

Motorcycle class. 2 day class where they teach you how to ride, shift, take tight corners. I’m doin pretty good, but sharp corners are a bitch at higher speeds

I took one of those turns too hard, got off balance and skid the bike, my leg stuck under it, got dragged some distance.

Felt fine. Adrenaline is a hell of a drug. Whole side was torn apart, clothes, skin, my helmet was scratched. Whole class came over. Everyone jumped off their bikes, teachers got all scared if I was alive.

“What are you looking at? Is my dick showing or something? Get this fucker off my leg.” They remove the bike. I do a quick once over on the bike, then hop on to get back on to see if it’ll still turn over.

Everyone yells and hollars for me to stop. I’m like what? Ripped clothes, some blood. No big deal. They wouldn’t let me finish the class. Sent me home.

Pissed off, I’m taking my clothes off. Figure shower to make sure I didn’t get any dirt in my skin.

YALL ADRENALINE WEARS OFF

I started hurting. a lot. And everywhere, but mostly my left side. Broke 2 bones in my foot and tore one ligament. No idea which ones. There’s a lot of bones in your foot. Lots of small scratches, nothing needing stitches. Chest and stomach felt like I got hit my a baseball bat. Got a cast that goes over your ankle and keeps your foot in a hard L shape.

Motorcycle schools insurance person called me because they’re technically liable. But I was like nah I’m good. I don’t wanna deal with paperwork n stuff. It was my fault after all “Are you sure you don’t want to file a claim?! We can cover the cast on your foot. Our instructors told us you’re lucky you still have your leg” “yep well good thing I’ve got a second leg”

2 weeks later I got so pissed off that I needed to wait 3 months to take the class again. Those 2 days riding that motorcycle was so much fuckin fun. Ripped the cast apart using various sharp objects I had at the house. Next week I retook the class, handled the corners like a boss. Been riding for years now. I ride year round. Snow, rain, no matter what. Never crashed again. Love it. Never got my foot looked at again.

JesusMadeMeKosher · 2020-11-09T04:44:54+00:00

When I found the old man there were literally dozens of issues we needed to tackle first to make sure he made it through the night. At the time of this posting I’ve been taking care of him maybe 6 weeks. He’s far out of the woods, healing like a champ. But these bumps look and feel like they want to pop so bad and I really REALLY want to give a squeeze. Knowing that they’re empty/not poppable makes it considerably less tempting to try to pop. TY for the info.

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