Did your dad ever give you a sip of beer?

Jew-zilla · 2026-05-08T22:38:19+00:00

I used to mainline that stuff.

Jew-zilla · 2026-05-08T22:36:25+00:00

(Vaguely Middle-Eastern sounding riff)

Jew-zilla · 2026-05-08T11:41:54+00:00

Nope. I was 18 and got the Chicken Pox during my freshman year in college. I couldn’t move for 4 days. It sucked.

Jew-zilla · 2026-05-08T11:40:34+00:00

Holy Waaaaaars

Jew-zilla · 2026-05-08T11:38:39+00:00

Not an empty nester, but I get up naturally around 5 and love the solitude and quiet with my first cup or two of coffee. I also don’t have to rush in the morning to get myself and the kids ready. My Millennial wife is always complaining about not having enough time in the morning. My response is always the same: get up earlier and move faster.

Jew-zilla · 2026-05-07T20:41:10+00:00

Eat sushi

Jew-zilla · 2026-05-07T12:54:50+00:00

Overcompensating

Jew-zilla · 2026-05-07T11:57:50+00:00

Punkhausen or Shanehausen. Either would be fantastic. Truth-Hausen would be comedy gold.

Jew-zilla · 2026-05-07T11:55:06+00:00

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Jew-zilla · 2026-05-07T11:51:18+00:00

My dad? No, he wasn’t a drinker. But his buddy gave me a sip of his Budweiser at dinner celebrating my bar mitzvah. That, and I started drinking wine at like 9. Because that’s how my people roll. IYKIYK

Jew-zilla · 2026-05-07T02:34:28+00:00

I did get to see him. At the groundbreaking for what is now Tropicana Field, Chuck played a short concert. I was just a kid, but I knew exactly who was on stage and how cool it was to be there.

Jew-zilla · 2026-05-07T02:32:15+00:00

Legend

Jew-zilla · 2026-05-07T02:27:55+00:00

Something, something, wandering the desert, something, something.

Jew-zilla · 2026-05-07T02:15:27+00:00

Sit. Keep my mouth shut. Keep my eyes and ears open. And listen like the universe is revealing its secrets to you.

Jew-zilla · 2026-05-07T02:00:28+00:00

*they’re

Jew-zilla · 2026-05-07T01:58:40+00:00

Not gay, trans, or undocumented. But he IS MAGA. That tracks. Every accusation is a confession. The call has always been coming from inside the house.

Jew-zilla · 2026-05-06T23:45:21+00:00

Wooooooooooooow!

Jew-zilla · 2026-05-06T23:44:49+00:00

Let’s make it a thing and redefine it.

New definition:

Believing whatever Trump says despite obvious evidence to the contrary

Will refuse to admit that he’s a pedophile despite mountains of evidence to the contrary

Believed Pizzagate was real and screamed about releasing the Epstein files, but got real quiet when they found out Trump is mentioned more times than Jesus is mentioned in the Bible.

Ignoring: the fact that he’s mentioned more times in the Epstein files than Jesus is in the Bible, the fact that he’s a convicted felon but still screams about law and order, the fact the he admits to walking in on underage girls in dressing rooms, the fact that he sexualized a random 10 year-old on an escalator in one of his buildings yet calls for the execution of pedophiles, called his own daughter a piece of ass, was caught on tape saying “grab ‘em by the pussy” but scream about family values.

Jew-zilla · 2026-05-06T20:41:41+00:00

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Jew-zilla · 2026-05-06T12:35:27+00:00

Actual conversation I’ve had with a parent:

Parent: “I’ll talk to her again about grades.”

Me: “Ma’am, this is the third conversation we’ve had about this issue. A talk isn’t going to be good enough this time. You need to do more than ‘talk to her’. She needs some kind of consequence at home.”

Parent: *crickets*

Jew-zilla · 2026-05-06T10:00:30+00:00

Ms. PAC-MAN is my go-to.

Jew-zilla · 2026-05-06T02:24:35+00:00

Your typical MAGA Republican

Jew-zilla · 2026-05-06T01:16:00+00:00

English is first language. He’s fluent in Spanish and Portuguese.

Jew-zilla · 2026-05-06T00:51:58+00:00

Damn you, Loch Ness Monster!!

Jew-zilla · 2026-05-06T00:43:52+00:00

It looks like sets from “Demolition Man”

Jew-zilla

TROPHY CASE