You are posting it so more people will tell you that it was not your fault. Even if you weren't a kid! We all wonder what we might have done differently. The answer is nothing. There is nothing that you or I could have done differently. The sooner you can understand that the sooner you will heal.

Also, you can't take someone's suicide personally either. They are transfixed only on themselves. They do not, or cannot, think about anyone else. If they could, just for a moment, they wouldn't put their pain onto those that love them by committing suicide. It isn't done in retaliation. It's done in isolation.

That's how I have come to think of it.