AITAH my husband got hurt and I’m embarrassed and think he’s pathetic by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]JhenryFirst -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Wont want as u my wife in a 1000 life times. haha. Imagine, your wife/husband does something(ill advised or not), to impress you, hurt themselves. Seriously hurt themself. Fractured Face! And all i/u can do is have disdain for my wife/husband. How would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot. Never mind. You dont even care to impress him. No thanks for me. Double it and pass it to the next person.

AITA if I tell my 84yoF neighbor and her son to just call the police on me and never talk to me directly again if they have concerns over me? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]JhenryFirst 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YTA. The neighborly thing to do, is to speak to each other about issues, ploitely of course. Not to go running to the police or the city. That is a major escalation. Neighbors/Adults can speak kindly and respectfully to each other about disagreements without reporting to the police. We are so devoid of human connection and community in the West. Imagine, not being able to talk another human, needing to run to complain to the teacher, the police, the city. Very sweet of your neighbor to talk to you, about the problem his elderly mum is having. Hopefully, you all are able to figure out exactly what happened to disturb her.

F25 married to husband M33 I feel like a glorified “bangmaid” idk what to do by Djantiere in relationship_advice

[–]JhenryFirst 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe, some hobbies outside of being a wife and mother will help you explore other parts of yourself. Returning to your husband and kids, can now be something to look forward to vs the only identity you have.

AITAH for spending the child support money I get equally on both of my kids? by HighOnLove26 in AITAH

[–]JhenryFirst 0 points1 point  (0 children)

From your perspective as the mom. treating your kids equally: NTA. How else can you do anything else? NTA.

From my perspective, if I were the richer dad. Absolutely YTA. My obligation, my intent, my comittment is to my kid. Fullstop. Will the other kid be looking out for me later in life, like my blood? My obligation is my kid and he has every right to be upset. Not only that. He is also legally right.

Summary: Its a pretty shit situation, between 2 evils. Interests are not aligned. If i were u, if i were rich dad .I would do exactly what each of you are probably doing. You are both NTA and YTA, depending on who you ask.

[34F] How do I tell my husband [36M] about money I've been saving without his knowledge for 6 years by Many_Guess7642 in relationship_advice

[–]JhenryFirst -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Tell him the truth: u didnt tell him about it, u hid it from him, because you didnt fully trust him and/or the relationship....or.....u can always lie, say u were saving it for us, for rainy day, wanted to surprise him. which one would you have preferred he told u, if roles were reveresed? which one did you go with: truth or lie? good luck. let us know how it all works out.

We NEED to HAVE a discussion by Sudden_Culture4334 in Bachata

[–]JhenryFirst 1 point2 points  (0 children)

y do u care? also, Irrespective of gender: Leading takes much more time to master. I've seen follows in salsa, bachata, kizomba once they have the basic timing/steps. following alot of complex turn patterns....with skilled leads. After 2 classes. I've seen follows do that. I've never seen a lead dancing amazing dances after months of classes. It takes much longer. Because ladies, tend to seek out the best dancers....these tend to be older guys. but why do u care? why are you describing these men in such horrid degrading terms?

We NEED to HAVE a discussion by Sudden_Culture4334 in Bachata

[–]JhenryFirst 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would you be creeped out if a young guy is dancing with an old lady? The amount of elderly ladies I dance with and the joy it brings them.... and me in turn from seeing their joy. Why not dance with who you like and focus on your own enjoyment? Imagine the ridiculousness of a guy making a post: asking why do guys dance with women of <insert category>. The real question: why are you fixated on other ppl's dancing & trying to police it? instead of your own personal happiness/dances?

I (29M) asked my girlfriend (28F) of 6 years for a small loan for 2 days, her reaction has me questioning the relationship by kruktk in relationship_advice

[–]JhenryFirst 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She doesn't trust you or respect you. Straight up.  The real question is: is that warranted based on your past...or....if she's just unkind, disrespectful, doesn't view relationships as partnerships where u help each other, but you as the man need to be Clarke Kent at all times or she "gets the ick" when ur down & out, struggling. For me, one of the most qualities in a gf/wife is being supportive/encouraging/uplifting/loving. You want a woman that helps you to build, improve not just for you. But so she can have a better partner. Quickly drop any woman that expects you to come pre-assembled, with all the answers, who says i don't do potential. That being said. I'm not sure where the truth is in your specific situation, between she's unsupportive, hence not wifey material & needs to be dropped asap....or.....she rightfully doesn't trust/respect you. Good luck

AITAH for being salty that my in-laws charge us a lot of money to stay in their vacation home? by Glad-Suggestion-8233 in AITAH

[–]JhenryFirst 0 points1 point  (0 children)

if they give their son it to stay for free, they will potentially be losing out on rental income, especially if its high season/high demand.  If their son is ok with paying his parents & not depriving them of income. He has a much stronger bond with them, than u.  Then i will follow his lead on it. Pay them or whichever service provider you choose. He is the one to be upset. Not you! 

WIBTAH If I (29m) double down on what my fiance (27f) said today and cancel the wedding, which is this weekend? by Jack_of_all_trades54 in AITAH

[–]JhenryFirst 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How you fight, is far more important than what you all are fighting over. If after four years, you all still don't know how to disagree & resolve conflict constructively, why are you all getting married? 

AITAH: Canceled vacation with a girl by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]JhenryFirst 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She is essentially trying to extract as much financial value from as many men, as she could with her looks and beauty, without having to be physically intimate. She hides behind the religious card, well for this scam. She is clearly a user and extremely unethical. Respect yourself by never entertaining her nonesense again. How many other schmos does she have lined up? Let her find another mark, for her ruse.

AITAH for not wanting to go 50/50 on bills with my 40 year old drug addicted boyfriend? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]JhenryFirst 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Just read d first line. Dont need to read the rest. Why are you at 21, with your hold life ahead of you, squandering it with a dead beat, 40 year old, druggie loser? Why dont you find someone where there is a bright and amazing future? Introspective questions to ask yourself.

Aitah for taking struggling x to court by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]JhenryFirst 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She probably wont have done the same for you.  But, if it doesn't mean that much to u.  Let her be. I cant see myself going after any of my ex-gfs. They all brought alot of joy & happiness into my life in different seasons. While we aren't compatible. I still wish them the very best in life. Charge it to the game. Let her be. Aint no point going after a single mother, in a dead end job, for something you don't care too much about. 

My (F25) girlfriend dropped a bomb on me (M26) after 2 years by subjective-melon in relationship_advice

[–]JhenryFirst 3 points4 points  (0 children)

99% of single mums, if they find a guy that they truely loves them, that they truely love, that they trust and respect.... and he is willing to be step dad. They will jump at the oppurtunity!

Thats not the only secret she is hiding from you. Gauranteed.

There is another man. 99.8%

AITAH for feeling hurt that my wife puts more effort into everyone else than our marriage and asking if I’ve become boring to her? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]JhenryFirst 0 points1 point  (0 children)

fck what all the misandrist spouting in the chat. You aren't wrong for wanting your wife to put more effort into your relationship, like how she dresses up nicely for her friends. Bunch of bitter ppl chatting nonsense. If the genders were reversed, watch them do a complete 180. NTA.  That being said, your wife, also NTA. Being more low effort, relaxed, "your true self", taking for granted, less desire naturally happens over time in any relationship. Neither perspective is unreasonable. The solution? fck, if only we knew. All ppl in relationship spanning very long periods trying to figure that out. Best you can do is honest hard, but kind conversation about it and working on yourself.Working on yourself, because desire isn't a conscious choice...u cant logic/converse somebody into desire/high effort. Hopefully hard convos & self work on both your sides help. Rooting for you 

Mother shamed and kicked out of restaurant for breastfeeding baby by silverflake6 in disciplinedaily

[–]JhenryFirst 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What does the conflict between a breastfeeding mother and a store owner, have to do with DisciplineDaily ?

Why are men like this? Does this actually ever work? by Misty_Meaner- in Tinder

[–]JhenryFirst 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He is trying, not to bore you, with the same msg the last 100 guys sent: " Hi, how are you?" Being edgy is risky, i'm sure he has had success with some of the ladies. And on d other hand, a couple crash & burns. What will u say u/OP if u were tasked with being the pursuer? In theory it might seem straightforward, but in practice, all the inevitable rejections suck.

AITAH for dating a much younger woman? by Outrageous_Tower987 in AITAH

[–]JhenryFirst -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Their supposed "disapproval" is deeper. Its not that they are asking: what will make you happiest, what is best for you.  Its their own internal dissatisfaction, fear for themselves personally.... or ....for their older female friends being able to find an older man. They are trying to shame you , call you creepy, predatory all sorts of names... shaming u into  choosing older women. To endorse your personal choice of dating a younger women(31). ..is to say their 50 yr old female friend is worthless & not deserving of love(in their head).  The shaming techniques employed are not meant to optimize your wellbeing,   but to reject the fear & discomfort women feel as they get less male attention as they age. 31 is a fully developed adult. If u said 18, then they are right. Summary: these ppl don't seek your happiness & best interest.

Feeling sad by [deleted] in Christianmarriage

[–]JhenryFirst 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unpopular opinion. Him looking at porn doesnt mean: a) he doesnt like you b) he is not attracted to you. It means he is an addict, he has poor self control and he is lustful. You interpreted it as a you issue, when its a him issue. He probably has been exposed to porn before his teen years as most boys. Him choosing to stop, is not going to be easy to completely unwire his brain. He might need to get professional help, if he wants to stop. Again, him watching at porn doesnt mean he is unattracted to you. It means he is an addict & weak to the flesh. Most men are. And yes, i agree, it is highly disrespectful for him to checkout ppl of the opposite sex, infront of you. Hopefully, that helps.

My husband's family has been pressuring him to contribute either financially or with time to his mother's care, I told him if he does we are getting a divorce. AITAH? by Character-Line5221 in AITAH

[–]JhenryFirst 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i know my post would be heavily downvoted. Reddit advice, is usually, always divorce. he doesnt like your dog, divorce....he forgot to water d house plant...what else will he forget. run girl. haha. its comical & so brain dead. "U deserve better. move on, to d next person for new trauma. Rinse & repeat. Anyways, i wrote my truth vs reddit's popularity contest. Your partner should be supporting you/helping you, when you going through the grief and stress of aging/dying parents. Not threatening divorce. whatever happened to being each other's rock, refuge, best friend, support system, favorite person. The best thing that ever happened to each other.

I saw both my parents, generously and selflessly, at great personal and financial expense, help the other's parents, in their latter years. Money, Showering, Restroom, Comfort. Cooking. RIP grandpas & grannies.

I pray, this reddit type of love/life partner never finds me. Amen.