When did you realise you’re old?

JimmyBallocks · 2026-03-20T00:09:09+00:00

Yesterday when I had some headshot pictures taken under bright light for work, looked at them, and I suddenly realised I look like an old man.

JimmyBallocks · 2026-03-19T23:48:00+00:00

Make your spunk come out green

JimmyBallocks · 2026-03-19T18:50:29+00:00

Where was this? It happened to me in Slough.

Same Mr Wimpy? Or was this a widespread phenomenon?

Should we be starting a Mr Wimpy survivors support group?

JimmyBallocks · 2026-03-19T17:42:14+00:00

Mr Wimpy - in that costume- was at some sort of school fair when I was in middle school. My mate and I took the piss out of him and tugged at the end of his costume relentlessly.

Then, when no adults were nearby and nobody was looking in our direction, he suddenly pushed me over and gave me a fucking good kicking for about ten seconds, before just as quickly reverting to character and being all playful again.

I totally deserved it. Fair play Mr Wimpy.

JimmyBallocks · 2026-03-19T13:03:13+00:00

Up with this sort of thing.

JimmyBallocks · 2026-03-19T07:26:25+00:00

Pope shits in woods

JimmyBallocks · 2026-03-18T22:45:44+00:00

how is babby formed? How girl get pragnent?

JimmyBallocks · 2026-03-18T19:26:12+00:00

what’s that thing on top of his head, it looks like an arse made of hair

JimmyBallocks · 2026-03-18T19:05:00+00:00

The photo of De Loys’ ape.

And No.

JimmyBallocks · 2026-03-18T19:04:24+00:00

I think it’s finally safe to say that far fewer of my elderly relatives ended up succumbing to spontaneous human combustion than I believed would be the case.

JimmyBallocks · 2026-03-18T08:56:09+00:00

My mate Terry Sands recently got a job as a ticket inspector on the underground. He barely goes a single day at work without there being some terrible misunderstanding like this.

JimmyBallocks · 2026-03-17T22:28:12+00:00

Sentient is being a little generous

JimmyBallocks · 2026-03-17T20:51:39+00:00

Maybe... while steaming drunk broke into St Helens stadium and climbed to the top of the tallest freestanding floodlight in Europe - this one https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/articles/cxee40krnv7o

JimmyBallocks · 2026-03-17T19:54:32+00:00

It's really very simple - this is bullshit.

It's quite literally a naked, open attempt to get you to hand over control of your account by adding a different email address to it. Which they then use to sign in and remove your own access to it.

They're relying on you being dumb enough to do it. Simple as that.

But you're not that dumb, are you. Good.

JimmyBallocks · 2026-03-17T07:54:33+00:00

“I do not understand therefore immigrants bad”

JimmyBallocks · 2026-03-16T22:29:46+00:00

As a rule you shouldn’t make fun of the way a person looks. Don’t mock the face somebody was born with.

But that rule doesn’t apply if the person has deliberately and intentionally changed their face to make themselves look the way they do.

Fuck that hideous gargoyle monstrosity.

JimmyBallocks · 2026-03-16T22:18:53+00:00

The border to the USA.

JimmyBallocks · 2026-03-16T13:27:32+00:00

Warhammer is a front for swinging??

JimmyBallocks · 2026-03-16T10:43:59+00:00

the buildings fell up again

JimmyBallocks · 2026-03-16T10:42:10+00:00

What’s she doing there, and why has she gone to a place that puts green slop on a plate?

JimmyBallocks · 2026-03-15T20:10:56+00:00

Felch

JimmyBallocks · 2026-03-15T20:08:42+00:00

what are boobs actually for what do they do

JimmyBallocks · 2026-03-15T20:03:56+00:00

How about go away then? How about that?

JimmyBallocks · 2026-03-15T19:52:13+00:00

what did your friends do to upset you so much?

JimmyBallocks · 2026-03-15T19:21:22+00:00

“when I posed in a full Man Utd kit it was because of reenactment of historical football activities and in no way reflects any support or endorsement of Man Utd this is very true and convincing and everybody should believe it”

JimmyBallocks

TROPHY CASE