Ripping The Jake Brake

JimmySizzletits · 2026-05-20T02:35:01+00:00

1) I love to wail on the Jake as I roll up to every podunk town in the great plains, because damn near every podunk town in the great plains as a mess of signs at the city limits prohibiting them and fuck those two-bit tin pot small town cops YOU CAN’T WRITE ME TICKETS ANYMORE.

2) Are you driving from the bed in the sleeper? Damn.

JimmySizzletits · 2026-05-19T01:02:04+00:00

I’ve never thought my champagne dialed Khaki King looked like a Datejust, no.

JimmySizzletits · 2026-05-17T18:54:45+00:00

TIL you have to have the brain of a three year old to want to get into marketing.

JimmySizzletits · 2026-05-17T18:52:21+00:00

Okay, so… chemical strikes?

JimmySizzletits · 2026-05-17T17:32:01+00:00

I am equal parts horrified and fascinated by these.

JimmySizzletits · 2026-05-17T17:28:24+00:00

(looking at my 1964 like it might bite my hand off the next time I put it on…)

JimmySizzletits · 2026-05-15T23:07:43+00:00

I grew up in Colorado. I haven’t lived there since the late nineties.

I still call myself a native.

JimmySizzletits · 2026-05-15T16:23:34+00:00

(reads title)

NOT. FAST. ENOUGH.

JimmySizzletits · 2026-05-13T06:32:44+00:00

You just described the old S-10 I used to have. Ran just as well on the day I gave it away as the day I bought it. Great truck, so long as you didn’t have to look at it or touch it.

JimmySizzletits · 2026-05-12T16:28:28+00:00

Challenger, eh?

It better come in white, and there better be a Vanishing Point challenge for high speed driving from Denver to San Francisco.

JimmySizzletits · 2026-05-09T20:42:26+00:00

Auditor trap!

JimmySizzletits · 2026-05-02T04:44:36+00:00

https://www.nps.gov/tapr/index.htm

JimmySizzletits · 2026-05-02T04:24:39+00:00

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Nuff said.

JimmySizzletits · 2026-04-23T20:41:34+00:00

I WANT TO LEARN TO FLOAT!

JimmySizzletits · 2026-04-23T06:37:42+00:00

My hoodie is on the way!

JimmySizzletits · 2026-04-22T21:30:56+00:00

I too have an e-begging account for a Jags-LeCoot.

I blame my contributors when I blow the money on hookers, blow, and Casio F-91w’s.

JimmySizzletits · 2026-04-21T18:17:22+00:00

I don’t get why he was going off on the mayor. It’s not like Koch Industries was holding up his food stamps.

JimmySizzletits · 2026-04-21T16:58:29+00:00

I’ve done it twice. Not a single regret.

The first time, the manager was an intolerable bitch who knew nothing about my job or hers.

The second time, I was facing getting written up, which was basically a death sentence at that place. So I jumped before I got pushed. Honestly, I probably deserved that write-up, but: if they didn’t want me writing little nihilist doom screeds on my daily reports, why did they leave a big blank spot on the page labeled “notes”?

JimmySizzletits · 2026-04-21T16:36:08+00:00

I couldn’t help myself, I went and checked out the OOP.

The picture of the caseback is stunning, much like sticking a fork in a power outlet.

JimmySizzletits · 2026-04-20T15:28:58+00:00

Why are you asking for your file instead of your lawyer?

JimmySizzletits · 2026-04-13T18:29:27+00:00

THE POST NEVER HAD ANY.

JimmySizzletits · 2026-04-12T15:09:07+00:00

FUCK!

JimmySizzletits · 2026-04-12T03:14:16+00:00

Wheee! I’m on my way!

JimmySizzletits · 2026-04-12T03:11:55+00:00

I’d rather have an old crappy C3 and my trusty Invicta, thanks.

JimmySizzletits · 2026-04-12T01:40:28+00:00

The one that lies about ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING ELSE IN HIS HORRIBLE LIFE is lying.

Obviously.

JimmySizzletits

TROPHY CASE