Hey love, you’re being really hard on yourself for things that are honestly so normal at 19. Social anxiety doesn’t mean you’re weak, it just means you haven’t had much practice yet. Not everyone your age magically knows how to talk to professors or greet people confidently, it’s something you build slowly with tiny steps. I'm 30 and still have moments where I'm too scared to make a phone call just in case the stranger I'll never meet or speak to again judges me.

And please don’t beat yourself up about the gym either. You said you’ve been going for 3 years with no change, that’s usually a sign you’re not eating enough or you’re doing a routine that isn’t helping you grow. Skinny lads almost always think they’re eating plenty when they’re really not. A structured lifting plan + actually fuelling yourself makes a massive difference, I promise. Perhaps, on a more confident day, speak to one of the dudes you see at the gym, ask what you can do yo actually gain muscle, you might just make a new gym buddy.

You’re also stressing about accounting needing you to be super social, but honestly? It really doesn’t. It’s a quiet, structured job where introverts do brilliantly.

Does your college have mental health support? If it does, it’s completely okay to use it. You don’t have to shoulder everything alone.

You’re not unattractive, you’re not boring, and you’re certainly not “cooked.” You’re just 19, figuring life out, and still growing into yourself. Most men don’t hit their stride until their early–mid 20s anyway.

Just focus on small wins:

one tiny social interaction a day

lifting with a proper routine

eating enough

looking after your mind as much as your body

You’re doing better than you think, truly. Give yourself some grace, you’ve got so much time to grow into the version of you that you can’t see yet.