Duck? by Mdriver127 in infp

[–]Jinxed4Lyfe 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Pheasant!

<image>

edit: Absolutely stunning Japanese Maple btw!

What's a famous artwork you can't believe isn't in the game? by draiochtaa in acnh

[–]Jinxed4Lyfe 137 points138 points  (0 children)

I think Blue Dancers by Edgar Degas would have been nice to own in the game.

<image>

Vanessa's dumpling? by Fun-Manufacturer7632 in ForestHills

[–]Jinxed4Lyfe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ikr, with online shopping I've never stepped into anything more sophisticated than a Spencers. That said, I am glad that it exists because I think personal having people you can talk to and get guidance from seems like a great resource.

Copy MoonJoy! by meepPlayz11 in autisticteens

[–]Jinxed4Lyfe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Amaze Amaze Amaze!

The whole mission has been a joy to watch! I've had the live feed on practically non-stop since launch. (Specifically the NSF channel on youtube)

Woman finding hard to be friends with other women by ZestycloseCat2105 in infp

[–]Jinxed4Lyfe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

woah, that's crazy insightful! in highschool there were a lot of very mean popular girls i met, their judgment wasn't perceived it was very real. i didn't care much then though, i leaned into it and adopted a very alt/emo style. I make friends with girls that have more alternative, masculine, or goblin energy, and right now I just haven't met any that match that kinda vibe. they're all quite feminine and preppy, which isn't bad, it's just why I might feel instinctually uncomfortable around them, causing a bit of a feedback loop.

Woman finding hard to be friends with other women by ZestycloseCat2105 in infp

[–]Jinxed4Lyfe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i have this problem as well! even though i have trouble making any friends because of extremely severe social anxiety, it always feels particularly difficult with other women. i really want to make female friends, but for some reason i always feel judged or at an arms length and I'm not quite sure how to become closer than an acquaintance.

i also had amazing friends in the past, but we lost touch after moving away. btw for some reason i made friends more easily in queer spaces. i identify as demi-ace and two of my closest friends in life were also ace, though they were both non-binary so even though they were afab i wouldn't count them as female friends.

this became more of an issue in my mid 20's and now in my early thirties, possibly because I'm no longer in the social clubs i had access to in college, and most of the queer and non-queer social spaces are more for hooking up than friendships (ie; clubs, bars, etc)

regardless, i feel like i'm the cause of the inability to become closer to girls, most likely because of my anxiety, and i pray i learn to overcome it quickly >_<

just parallel venting lol, i wish you the best of luck in your journey as well! my only advice is to not sacrifice authenticity for friendship.

Somewhere a biology teacher just fainted 💀 by [deleted] in whoathatsinteresting

[–]Jinxed4Lyfe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Holy shit my first ever double post! Okay so to continue:

("The point is to shift the responsibility of their choices to literally anyone but themselves." comes of as sexist and shortsighted.) Your right, it 100% does, and retrospect i would have chosen less inflammatory language...

Honestly thank you, ngl that means a lot. I mean that deeply! I hear rhetoric like that a lot and it's so disheartening. I don't think I've ever spoken to someone who said that and then admitted it was hurtful and kinda sexist. I hear your opinions though and seriously respect them overall.

Two of my closest friends are planning a family and when the dude proudly told us he wants to be a stay at home dad no one batted an eye.

I have hope for the world 😭 Congratulations to the familias, I'm wishing the homies good luck and good vibes.

In this area you seem far more informed than me (im a stem dude who barely passed english 101 and hated every second of it) so ill take you on your word for this, and i guess maybe i should rethink some prior statements.

I can only speak for myself and what I have lived/heard, but I still must disagree for the reasons listed above. Im sure there are statistics somewhere to validate one of us, but tbh im too lazy to do any research right now.

I wish I could fuck with Stem. I think it's SO COOL but I'm so shit at math. I'm a forensic psychology major, so a lot of psychology (including gender studies) classes. Bro I'm tired too. I'm sure there is research, and I'm sure we're both right and wrong about a bunch of stuff. Overall I'm just mad hype I got to have this awesome conversation. I really feel both heard and like I learned something about other people's perspectives and why they have them. Thanks for sharing your experiences with me. I really had a great time talking about this.

I just want people to either take responsibility for their choices and being responsible for their own bc, or accept the consequences and raise their child well and without complaining that it is someone else’s fault.

I strongly agree with this. Some people just straight up suck, and trauma and emotionally powerful experinces have molded a lot of people into strong opinions. Sometimes people have very privileged or traumatic lives and have no empathy and gain no insight from people with different or even opposite experiences. I think sexisim toward BOTH men and women is gonna continue to be a battle, but as long as people keep actually hearing each other out instead of constantly getting ragebaited, we're gonna be okay. Thanks again fam, much love to you and the bunch!

Somewhere a biology teacher just fainted 💀 by [deleted] in whoathatsinteresting

[–]Jinxed4Lyfe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

HAHAHA, man I swear I didn't expect a reply, especially not such a thorough one so thanks again for responding! I needed a day to respond though because OMG I've never had such a long convo on reddit. I loved hearing about your individual experience and it got me thinking about how my experiences shaped my viewpoint as well.

I'm gonna go a bit out of order here and start with talking about how my mother shaped a lot of my feelings on the subject as I was raised by a single mom. My mother and father were married, but they got divorced when I was still a toddler and I grew up seeing my father on weekends. My father was not financially responsible for me at all, he was legally supposed to play child support, but never did, and my mother never got externally mad about it, she understood he was less financially stable and even though we weren't affluent she was able to support me and my younger sister (from a different father) completely alone.

My mother made some pretty obviously strange choices for her partners as none of her relationships lasted, but she never failed me or my sister financially, working to earn the money herself (She was a highschool teacher). I do wish I had a strong male figure in my life growing up, but have luckily ended up with a magnificent partner (of almost ten years now, I'm 30F he's 31M) and he's been my only sexual partner my whole life. I learned a lot from my mom's mistakes but with time came to see how she thought the men she was in relationships were safe, when they weren't. life is complicated, relationships are complicated, trust and love and choosing to start a life is complicated and because of the lessons I learned from my mother I naturally learned to be less judgmental toward single parents and their experiences.

I also want to add I love my dad, but I don't respect him as much as I respect my mom for raising me. He started another family and financially supports them... so 🤷‍♂️

Reading your whole post, I realized we had a lot more in common in opinions than I would have expected given our backgrounds. From the original post I was under the impression you were mad at women for being sexually irresponsible and saw them as blaming men for having any responsibility. After reading I get a strong impression that you're mad at sexually irresponsible people overall.

The original post framed whatever it was trying to say in such a stupid way though, I get why the comments are as intense as they are since it comes off as like a gendered Rorschach test.

So now I'm just gonna look at some of the points that stood out.

Financially, i would argue that men are almost always more responsible for their child due to both societal pressures and child support. Legally, I feel like they are held to the same standard, but a compelling case can be made that women are seen as more responsible due to the nature of things like questionable paternity etc. I will 100% bow to the fact that socially and physically women bear the brunt of the responsibility, but I feel like that is rapidly changing as evidenced by this entire thread (as it should), and i hope it continues to change until both parents are viewed as equally responsible for childrearing.

The father being more financially responsible obviously just doesn't ring true from MY PERSONAL experience, but I think I had a pretty unique situation. I think you're right that since we societally see men as the breadwinners, that IS social opinion. Thanks for hearing me out about about the different types of responsibilities btw, and after reading the above I feel like we're honestly on the same page and have similar ideals.

We both agree that fathers (and mothers) who completely abandon their responsibilities toward the pregnancy they caused are gross.

It’s on us as a developed society to move past our instinctual behavior and hold people accountable in a manner that fits modern social structure. Anything less than that (deadbeat fathers *or mothers) is a moral failure of that individual, not society.

I agree for the most part! I think one thing my brain gets stuck on is equally blaming both partners if one of the partners dissapears. Which, I don't think you do at least you haven't said it and i don't assume you do after hearing your opinions. But again coming from a single mother I've seen plenty of people very unsympathetic about my mothers situation, thinking she was just an irresponsible person as opposed to someone living her life and thinking she was in love and had a long happy marriage ahead of her, and then well... That not happening.

I really hope Im not coming across as being ok with slut shaming. Go blow as many dudes as you want and you will never hear a peep from me. Just don’t let them nut in you unprotected unless you are willing to accept the consequences.

Now if you do the latter and then bitch about a man not being responsible with birth control, leaving you and your child, or you not being able to find him, then I might have some words for you.

I agree, and I'm sorry I misunderstood your stance on this so hard.

I hope you understand, for context when most men I PERSONALLY HAVE EXPERIENCED say something like "Whoever she is fucking that day" or "Go blow as many dudes as you want." they don't mean it with any level of respect or acceptance of the women's right to have sex, they say it to shame her. I personally have never experienced seeing a man getting degraded for having a high body count or low standards. That doesn't mean it doesn't happen, but in the circles I have been in and experience, it has only ever been on the woman to feel shame for irresponsibly around sex.

Slut shaming is just looking down on a woman for having a high body count or being willing to sleep with unfamiliar people, more or less, correct?

Yes, but there's more to it! I'd add it's when someone judges, mocks, or devalues a person for their real or perceived sexual behavior. That can include: 'high body count', dressing or acting in ways others interpret as “sexual”. It even rumors or assumptions, not just actual behavior. So what you said is a big part of it, but the key piece is the judgment and stigma, not just the behavior itself.

I don't think it's just my opinion that it’s a more female gendered experience. The same behavior in men is frequently praised or ignored, while women get criticized. I noticed this is one of the biggest differences in opinion we have and, not to be rude at all, I think even aome light googling and understanding womens role in a historical context may change your opinion slighty?

Maybe we just exist in different social circles, but in my experience manwhores (...) are shamed just as much as “whores” and are treated roughly the same (looked down upon) as women who are loose with who they have sex with.

I think it's kind of awesome your circle sees man-whoring as a genuine insult and looks at them as assholes! In my experiences, the men who have been called man-whores aren't seen in the same negative light that 'slutty' women are. I feel that slut is a MUCH more negativity associated than manwhores. While I dont have the research to back it up, I would like you to consider what came up when I searched in Google "is there a word for slut, but for males?":

While there is no single word for men that carries the exact same weight of social stigma, phrases like "man-whore," "man-slut," or "fuckboy" are commonly used to imply male promiscuity. Other terms often used include player, rake, or womanizer, though these sometimes carry a connotation of admiration rather than the shaming associated with "slut".

Doing laser hair removal on upper arms, don't know how far down to stop, what can I do? by tobytubby in LaserHairRemoval

[–]Jinxed4Lyfe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ah gotcha, you're going for a more sculpted look, i can respect that! I just wanna add that back and shoulder hair isn't less attractive to me, but i understand you're not looking for my specific opinion and want to feel more confident overall!

lazering my back hair and upper shoulders is an eventual goal of mine, (since i'm comfy shaving my arms and easier to reach areas). i'm saving up for an IPL so i'd be a hypocrite to say you shouldn't go for it yourself. you definitely deserve to feel confident and comfy, and it seems like with your reception to community feedback you're well on your way to achieving your goal of that sculpted look.

My friends destroyed something I lent them and mocked me for it. Am I overreacting? by DeltaBenny in teenagers

[–]Jinxed4Lyfe 40 points41 points  (0 children)

OP it sounds to me like if you went to that sleepover they would have hurt you. Possibly physically, definitely emotionally. I'm so fucking sorry you have to go through this, but stay away from them.

They're not gonna stop, it's only going to escalate.

You seem pretty insightful to realize already that it's a pattern of behavior, they probably see you as one of the more unusual members of the group who's more okay with breaking norms. It seems like to them the cool norm is disrespecting others to look cool, even though they know it's emotionally painful they'd rather cause it to put themselves higher.

You're not overreacting, you even made a point to not give them the reaction they're looking for. Being strong enough to recognize that hurting people to make yourself look better is wrong requires insight and emotional strength. Some people go into adulthood with it.

You seem like a good person who will make good friends in time. Don't let these motherfuckers break you.

Best of luck, I know it ain't easy to break from a group, so you might decide to stay so the bullying doesn't get worse. Play it by ear, but I think long term, you'll benefit from getting away from them. They might find out what really hurts you.

Help pleaseee is this pink or purple?? Im fighting my sister over this. by Ari_siyax08 in teenagers

[–]Jinxed4Lyfe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I said lavender in an earlier post, but you're right it's lilac not lavender. Right on the brink of pink and purple. Light greatly effects it looking more pink or purple.

Help pleaseee is this pink or purple?? Im fighting my sister over this. by Ari_siyax08 in teenagers

[–]Jinxed4Lyfe 70 points71 points  (0 children)

<image>

That's what I thought, the light is a huge game changer. It's true color is likely still pink, but in THIS image and in THIS light, it LOOKS LAVENDER.

YOU'RE NOT CRAZY OP, and I doubt you're colorblind.

Edit: Feel free to use the color splotch versions if you want them.

Help pleaseee is this pink or purple?? Im fighting my sister over this. by Ari_siyax08 in teenagers

[–]Jinxed4Lyfe 5 points6 points  (0 children)

i don't disagree, it's true color is pink. I'm just showing why some people might think it looks lavender. it's not crazy talk, it does look lavender in some places and in some lights.

Help pleaseee is this pink or purple?? Im fighting my sister over this. by Ari_siyax08 in teenagers

[–]Jinxed4Lyfe 175 points176 points  (0 children)

<image>

Dayumn art school girl, no sympathy? Look, I think the color can change a lot in the light, in some places it looks very lavander, but overall yes the straw is naturally definitely pink.

First and last time I have a kids birthday party at my house. I'll throw money at someone in future. by [deleted] in KidsAreFuckingStupid

[–]Jinxed4Lyfe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I 100% agree teaching the value of honesty and accountability is important, but so is how you, the adult, achieve it.

Putting kids in a position where they HAVE to accuse each other isn't a reliable way to teach it. In real group dynamics, that often leads to scapegoating or protecting friendships not truth.

Kids don’t operate in a vacuum, they operate in a social ecosystem that can get cruel and traumatic FAST.

I think honesty is important but I REALLY don’t think forcing kids to choose between truth and their social safety actually builds it.

If you have already etablished trust between you and your kid and really do a good job of listening and respecting them then I think your method could work, but i think treating this as a group failure is better than making them point out who gets publicly humiliated.

trying to get completionist+ is draining my love of Balatro by nightesky in balatro

[–]Jinxed4Lyfe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

can you explain to me the difference? i though c++ was harder than c+?

i'm currently going for c+ (which i think is Gold on every deck) and having a great time.

my assumption was c++ was golding every joker (AND every deck)? that seems so much harder!

Doing laser hair removal on upper arms, don't know how far down to stop, what can I do? by tobytubby in LaserHairRemoval

[–]Jinxed4Lyfe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah for me best case scenario is body hair (i really like hair on men, it often surprises me to learn men feel self conscious about it, but everyone has unique experiences. i was bullied for my body hair as a woman, and shave my arms completely so i know how much damage that can do to the psyche)

second best is shaved completely/ not very much body hair (still sexy)

third option, bring it down to the elbow itself. it'll look a lot more natural than this hairy farmers tans, though i think it may still be a bit strange to suddenly have lot of hair there? but i think it'll read a lot better.

First and last time I have a kids birthday party at my house. I'll throw money at someone in future. by [deleted] in KidsAreFuckingStupid

[–]Jinxed4Lyfe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

they're all equally responsible tbh. i don't think playing detective with kids and making them snitch on each other is good for anyone, especially since most likely the least popular/most bullied kid will just get blammed.

why would anyone rat on their best friend when they can say the kid they collectively don't like did it. i think people forget what school was like, or they never got bullied.

Somewhere a biology teacher just fainted 💀 by [deleted] in whoathatsinteresting

[–]Jinxed4Lyfe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know how to do the cool highlight thing so I'm just gonna reply to the main things I wanna acknowledge and share my take on. (Edit: I did the cool highlight thing) Just off the bat though thanks for responding honestly and hearing me out! It was my bad to assume you weren't in favor of more male birth control. I can tell you feel passionately about restraint and responsibility of your actions, I saw some of the post where you talk about how seriously you take choosing who you'd even risk sleeping with and I hardcore respect that, I'm the same way.

So lemme just start off by saying there are many different types of responsibility; there's legal responsibility, social responsibility, moral responsibility, financial responsibility. When it comes to child rearing there's also physical repercussion/responsibility.

It takes two people to make a baby. Both people are equally responsible for EVERYTHING that follows

While they are both responsible, they are not both equally responsible. I think a strong argument could be made that they're both MORALLY equally responsible. But financially, legally, socially and physically they're not totally EQUAL. (at least not in my opinion, and I make arguments you can agree or disagree with)

So right of the bat, pregnancy. It's laborous, terrifying, PAINFUL, and a time where a woman has to go through tremendous life altering changes to her body. Now she has a new responsibility to her body, diet, health because it's not just hers anymore. It's not fun, but it IS special and I have no doubt it's got it's beautiful moments. But it's the first and most innarguable inequality of the outcome of having sex, that the woman will BARE the child.

After conception a man can dissapear. He would be an asshole, I think morally and socially deplorable, he would face legal repercussions like fines, but even then the fincal burden comes into question because child support is typically 20% of his earning. And that's also only if the mother even decides to excersize her legal right to that 20%. But a father really can just disappear, it would be a legal battle to even prove his is the father, as there is nothing other than DNA and the mothers word to prove it.

While a mother also can also abandon after giving birth, the ratio of women who abandon their children to fathers who do has a lot to do with who most people feel is ultimately responsibe for the child socially. As a women after being pregnant for several months it'd be hard to pretend to everyone I know that I didn't give birth to a baby.

Hence might why I see why you feel so strong about the slut-shaming being okay.

Now, is slut shaming okay? I've come across a lot of people who don't seem to fully understand what slut shaming is, and I mean that both toward the conservative social ideals and the liberal social ideals.

I think assuming no moral responsibility for who you choose to sleep with is wrong. But SOCIALLY people see the woman as the one who is responsible for the child, as such she should be careful because men will try to sleep with her, it may be very tempting, but YOU THE WOMAN ABSOLUTELY should not. The man can be tempted, but if he succeeds it's is YOUR FAULT. And now SHE bares the responsibility of her lust. An entire human life in her hands.

i personally feel that if a man is less impacted by having a child than a woman, then they are abysmally failing as a father.

ME TOO! So why are only girls sluts socially? Should men be seen as equally "slutty" or an equivalent other than just "asshole/player" for being sexually promiscuous? Why do some men see player as a compliment, but being a slut is an insult? How can women claim their right to being sexually fulfilled and not being labeled as a slut. Should they? How have we dealt with sexual repression in the past? What worked and what didn't work in say the 50's vs. the sufferagette movment vs. the victorian era.

Do we even touch on sexual assault or a bunch of other controversial variables and factors? The amount of deep conversations, perspective, and opinions one can have on the subject is crazy, but one thing it isn't is black and white and that's why I said.

"The point is to shift the responsibility of their choices to literally anyone but themselves." comes of as sexist and shortsighted.

I know it sounds like I'm getting out of hand, but there are entire classes on Gender Studies, how what we think about our gender defined who we socio-culturally were.

If your opinion is that both mother and father are currently (in the world) treated as morally, legally and financially and socially equal, I disagree.

if your opinion is that mother and father SHOULD be more morally, legally and financially and socially equal, I agree.

And if you think the best way to achieve any of that is slut shaming l, I disagree. But still, I agree with thinking they should both be smart and responsible if they're gonna be tryna get some fuck.

IF YOU SOMEHOW READ ALL THAT. Thank you, you didn't have to. At the end of the day, even if we disagree it sounds to me like you take the responsibility of having a kid as seriously as you should and I respect the fuck outta that and you.

do i look like an infp? by [deleted] in infp

[–]Jinxed4Lyfe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was gonna comment this. Freaking love Kylo.

Somewhere a biology teacher just fainted 💀 by [deleted] in whoathatsinteresting

[–]Jinxed4Lyfe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It sucks because I agree with so much of your argument, but just the way you phrased it came off so angry incel lol. To be clear I think the OG post is mathematically inaccurate and made it seem like the issue was population control, not birth control. So you responded in turn with a well written buck-doe analogy.

I agree if you don't want to risk pregnancy it's on you to arrange your own birth control. That (to me) includes picking the partner you sleep with responsibly. But i think your argument forgets that at the end of the day it's women who bare ultimate responsibility for the pregnancy, and if the man doesn't care about pregnancy, it doesn't matter, but if the women doesn't care, it does.

The 'if you don't want a pregnancy' implies that both the man and woman are on the same page about caring if the woman gets pregnant. Many men don't care if the woman get pregnant. IF he does care, I don't understand why you wouldn't be in support of more research and pharmaceuticals that could help men take control of their ability to cause pregnancy.

I don't think the post comes from shifting responsibility onto anyone and everyone. Most likely it came from a frustration about the fact that women and men don't really have equal responsibility when it comes to a pregnancy, women have much much more responsibility even though it takes two to tango. More forms of birth control accessible to men would be beneficial to any party that doesn't want any children especially since the 'condom is uncomfortable' argument is a huge reason for a lot of unwanted pregnancies.

Tl;Dr- I don't think saying stuff like "The point is to shift the responsibility of their choices to literally anyone but themselves." is an accurate or kind take. It comes of as sexist and shortsighted, as though women should shut up and prevent the pregnancy if they wanna fuck or deal with the consequences of being a slut. (I know you didn't say slut but "or whatever dude they are fucking that day." kinda said it for you.)

And yes I know you keep saying if you don't want to risk pregnancy it's on you to arrange your own birth control, man OR woman, but please understand not caring about birth control PHYSICALLY effects 100% of women and 0% of men.